Talk:Surrounded (Björk album)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 14:26, 16 May 2016 (UTC)

Hello! Here's my review of your article, which is quite nice:

Lead

 * box set by Icelandic musician -> box set recorded by Icelandic recording artist
 * This would alter the meaning of the sentence, as if Björk had recorded the entire box set specifically for its release.


 * Björk, released on -> Björk. It was released...
 * It is a collection -> Surrounded remains a collection
 * Hmm, "remains" is not equivalent to "is". Surrounded remains a collection would mean "it continues/stays a collection", which doesn't make any sense.


 * one side contains the -> one side features the
 * If you insist, I'll change this, but I deliberately didn't use "features" as it is used later in the paragraph, in "additional features".


 * longplayers; the other -> longplayers, while the other one
 * While it did -> While the box set did
 * record chart -> record charts
 * Most applauded its -> Most of them were positive towards its...

Content and release

 * of seven Björk studio albums -> of seven of Björk's studio albums
 * Add the year of release to every album listed with ""
 * on the latter -> on the latter one
 * 'Latter' is grammatically correct already.


 * describes -> described
 * work as a -> work on the album as a
 * adding it provides -> with him as well confessing that it provides
 * A tip: with [verb]ing should be avoided, and "as well" is redundant. I find 'confessing' to be a rather personal verb so it would be inappropriate to use here.


 * of each album -> of each album's singles
 * says -> praised by commending that it
 * This is a quite long and redundant structure. 'Commending' is just reinforcing the idea that it was praised, so it can be removed.

Critical reception

 * Change all to past tense
 * writing in -> writing for
 * "writing in" is accepted, see the FA xx (album).


 * it "revitalizes some of the most ambitious pop music of the last 13 years." -> it as naming it "some of the most ambitious pop music of the last 13 years."
 * This would be poor prose, as well as misinterpretating what Pytlik wrote in his review. He doesn't call Surrounded itself that, he's referring to what it contains.


 * stating, "The work and its evolution speaks for itself. (...) Too bad the hardware doesn't." -> stating that "the work and its evolution speaks for itself. [...] Too bad the hardware doesn't."
 * that is redundant.


 * Outcome: On hold for 7 days. Good luck! Cartoon network freak (talk) 14:26, 16 May 2016 (UTC)
 * , I have corrected the points you raised, except for those I commented on; I also added some stuff I had let slip the first time around, so please have another look. Thank you for the review. Prism | (talk) 18:13, 18 May 2016 (UTC)
 * @: Congratulations, your GAN has just passed! By the way, are you also a GA reviewer? When yes, I would appreciate if you would find time to review my GAN of I Am the Club Rocker. Best regards, Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:42, 18 May 2016 (UTC)