Talk:Sutton-on-the-Forest

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I've heard that the gang warfare problem has got much better since the roundabout was created at the end of the Main Street. The vigilante trucks have to slow down now whereas before there was so much 'shoot-and-run'.

Nice pubs too. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 212.36.164.60 (talk • contribs).

Indeed. The stealth gang-warfare is really getting me down. Thank heavens we've got some arcane, derivative jazz-fusion band that nobody has ever heard of to keep our peckers up. Know your gangmember. Don't forget to carry a primed can of capsaicin spray with you at all times. When approached by your gangmember - easily distinguishable by the very fact that they don't exist anywhere outside of some miscreants broken mind - make sure you give them a good dose in the eyes. And then, whilst they're curled-up on the floor desperately trying to cry the irritant out of their eyes, you'll soon come to the realisation that, since there aren't in reality any 'gangsters' in SotF, and that you've inadvertantly incapacitated some old dear, that...that's the time you remember you forgot to take your Clorazil that day. But, the message will be clear: some dangerous sociopath is roaming the streets of this tiny, relatively unpopulated village and abusing old people with powerful organic irritants. The would be 'gangsters' and 'drug barons' will quite literally soil their absurd clothes with mucky-mess-mess and stick to 'pimping' their virtual rides in their nice warm bedrooms whilst their parents hold conference in the kitchen where they discuss how worried they are about their drunken mistake and wonder if they should take him to see a psychiatrist since he 'Spends all of his time listening to gangster rap, playing on his Xbox360 and failing school.' Visit quaint SotF, there're ducks in that there pond. And so on. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Tomakak (talk • contribs).