Talk:Sweet Dreams (Beyoncé song)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: --Legolas  ( talk 2 me ) 05:19, 21 July 2010 (UTC)

Hello Jiveesh and Tbhotch. I will be reviewing the article in a moment. --Legolas ( talk 2 me ) 05:19, 21 July 2010 (UTC)

Points
These are some points at the top of my head.
 * 1) WP:OVERLINK in the lead and the body of the article. You really don't need to link the charts in teh lead. Also, the lead needs further expansion.
 * I think I fixed it. Tb hotch Ta lk C.  16:18, 23 July 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) Instead of the music video in the infobox, its better to have it as part of the External links, that makes the article appear to have a end and cohesion.
 * Per my comments here I don't think that is needed. Tb hotch Ta lk C.  16:18, 23 July 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) The Background and composition section needs rearrangement, at present its like Composition and background form. You get it?
 * I get it, and changed. Tb hotch Ta lk C.  16:18, 23 July 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) The Promotion section goes to the last of the article sections, and the image of Knowles is a WP:NFCC failing image, its not that different from those in the music video. Also, refernce 11 is not justified in claiming the performance of "Sweet Dreams" on the I Am... Tour.
 * Removed the line Tb hotch Ta lk C.  16:39, 23 July 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) Check reference 23 again. --Legolas  ( talk 2 me ) 06:34, 23 July 2010 (UTC)
 * Removed Tb hotch Ta lk C.  16:39, 23 July 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) "The single has peaked at number 48 on the Billboard Mainstream R&B/Hip Hop Chart, making I Am... Sasha Fierce the first album of the 21st century to have seven entries on the chart." — No source supporting this.
 * removed too. Tb hotch Ta lk C.
 * 1) The last para of the Chart Performance section is trivia, should be removed.
 * Per WP:trivia, should be avoided a section called "Trivia", but these can be organized elsewhere. Tb hotch Ta lk C.  16:39, 23 July 2010 (UTC)
 * File:Sweetdreamsvideo.jpg is again a NFCC failing image. Better would be the one where Knowles is dressed like a robot in a gold metallic dress. Unusual for her.
 * I thought the same alot of times. Tb hotch Ta lk C.  16:39, 23 July 2010 (UTC)
 * Already done Tb hotch Ta lk C.
 * 1) There are lot of instances of not using en-dash correctly.
 * Could you be more specific about this? Tb hotch Ta lk C.  16:43, 23 July 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) Vitruvian Man -> wikify
 * ✅ Tb hotch Ta lk C.  16:43, 23 July 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) Ref 58, unacceptable -> Piratebay is a torrent.
 * Removed Tb hotch Ta lk C.  16:55, 23 July 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) Why is Billboard suddenly placed in the middle of the End-of year charts?
 * Actually it is "RIAA Charts – Billboard", so I fixed it. Tb hotch Ta lk C.  16:55, 23 July 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) Certifications comes within charts section, and it is wrongly formatted.
 * Fixed Tb hotch Ta lk C.  16:55, 23 July 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) Correct the links and redirects. Also, many references are incomplete and lack accessdate/author/date/work etc parameters. Give a thorough copy edit.

Correct these first, then I can review the prose. 7 days as usual. --Legolas ( talk 2 me ) 06:34, 23 July 2010 (UTC)

Further comments
Lil's points really helped improve the article. However, there are still futher issues.
 * 1) "Lyrically, the song describes a relationship where the protagonist feels that this is beautiful, and she believes that is a dream." — Sounds little amateurish. Maybe "Lyrically, the song describes a beautiful relationship, which the singer believes could be a dream." Use could be as the lyrics never directly calls it a dream. ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 09:32, 26 July 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) "The song went on to be certified Platinum by the ARIA, the RIANZ and the RIAA. The song was nominated for the "Viewers Choice Award" at the 2010 BET Awards." — Consecutive sentences starting with "The song" ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 09:32, 26 July 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) "It peaked inside the top five in Australia, Russia, the United Kingdom, the Czech Republic, Greece, Hungary, Ireland and Slovakia" — An arrangement needs to be done. Either arrange alphabetically, or descending order of market value. ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 09:32, 26 July 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) "The golden robot suit that Knowles wears to symbolize her Sasha Fierce alter-ego in it, was designed by French fashion designer Thierry Mugler." — Is it that important a statement for the WP:LEAD? Its better to have a synopsis of the music video. ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 09:32, 26 July 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) "It was written and produced by Knowles along with Jim Jonsin, Wayne Wilkins and Rico Love." — "It was written and produced by Knowles, along with Jim Jonsin, Wayne Wilkins and Rico Love." ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 09:32, 26 July 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) "The song was leaked in March 2008" — was leaked?? This implies somebody from inside leaked it or the record company did it. If so, this needs expansion. If not, rephrase. ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 09:32, 26 July 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) "you put the song out there it would go" — incomplete direct quote. Could be xtended with the [ ] braces. Like "you put the song out there it would go [on to become a hit]" ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 09:32, 26 July 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) "earmarked" — sure there is a better word. ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 09:32, 26 July 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) "Its lyrics describe a relationship so great and the protagonist believes that she is dreaming" — As stated before. ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 09:32, 26 July 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) "The song's electronic baseline is compared to Michael Jackson's "Beat It".[1][8] By the album's release, the song's structure had been altered: the phrase "turn the lights on" had been repeated throughout the chorus, a third refrain had been added after the climax, and the name had been changed to its current title.[3]" — Again, there's no relation between the sentences, and no flow. While rearranging you forgot that the leak came before teh relase. Hence they should be noted as such. Secondly, you are suddenly, "out of the blue" drawing a MJ "Beat It" comparison, without establishing the genre of the song. ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 09:32, 26 July 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) "The Times was impressed with the song" — The Times cannot be impressed, rather the reviewr can. ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 09:32, 26 July 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) "The official single "Sweet Dreams" debuted on the Billboard Hot 100 at number 97" — No need for official single, Billboard doesnot allow leaks anyways. ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 09:32, 26 July 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) "Sweet Dreams" was certified Gold on October 28, 2009, and it was later certified Platinum on January 5, 2010" — Missing by whom it was certified. ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 09:32, 26 July 2010 (UTC)
 * File:Flickr_-_smilesea_-_Beyonc%C3%A9_I_Am..._Tour_Newcastle_03.jpg needs to be made left, per MOS:IMAGES ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 09:32, 26 July 2010 (UTC)

More coming up later.... --Legolas ( talk 2 me ) 04:11, 26 July 2010 (UTC)

Waiting Jivesh boodhun (talk) 09:32, 26 July 2010 (UTC)


 * File:Sweetdreamsvideo.jpg could be trimmed for the extra white spaces. — Legolas ( talk 2 me ) 05:43, 29 July 2010 (UTC)
 * How much? Knowles image only? Tb hotch Ta lk <sup style="color:#2C1608;">C.  05:45, 29 July 2010 (UTC)
 * That would be perfect. Our intent is to show Knowles in the robotic dress, so having a huge amount of white background seems redundant. — <i style="color:blue;">Legolas</i> ( talk 2 me ) 05:50, 29 July 2010 (UTC)
 * Cropped, I think. Tb hotch Ta lk <sup style="color:#2C1608;">C.  06:04, 29 July 2010 (UTC)
 * Wonderful. — <i style="color:blue;">Legolas</i> ( talk 2 me ) 06:13, 29 July 2010 (UTC)


 * The Credits and personnel section. The names come first as per WP:SONGS, then their role in the production. For eg, "Papa Don't Preach". — <i style="color:blue;">Legolas</i> ( talk 2 me ) 06:13, 29 July 2010 (UTC)
 * En-dash in the Chart procession dates. — <i style="color:blue;">Legolas</i> ( talk 2 me ) 06:19, 29 July 2010 (UTC)
 * Both done Tb hotch Ta lk <sup style="color:#2C1608;">C.  06:29, 29 July 2010 (UTC)


 * The Awards section, can you bring the year to the first column as is custom? — <i style="color:blue;">Legolas</i> ( talk 2 me ) 08:07, 29 July 2010 (UTC)
 * Done Tb hotch Ta lk <sup style="color:#2C1608;">C.  17:31, 29 July 2010 (UTC)
 * Ahh, I don't see any other pending issues with it, therefore I award GA to the article. Congratulations and well deserved Tbhotch and Jiveesh bodhun. — <i style="color:blue;">Legolas</i> ( talk 2 me ) 08:08, 30 July 2010 (UTC)
 * Thak you Legolas and Lil-unique for thake your time reviewing it. Tb hotch Ta lk <sup style="color:#2C1608;">C.  17:00, 30 July 2010 (UTC)