Talk:Sybil Thorndike/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Aza24 (talk · contribs) 01:24, 8 December 2022 (UTC)

Happy to review this. Best –  Aza24  (talk)   01:24, 8 December 2022 (UTC)

General comments
Finding no major issues, these comments are exclusively minor quibbles.  Aza24  (talk)   00:12, 12 December 2022 (UTC)


 * Early life


 * For non-Anglophone readers, I do wonder if specifying that Lincolnshire is in the UK, or at least, England, might be beneficial
 * As we say in the first line she was English and specify the country in the info-box I think it would be a work of supererogation to add England here, but I will do so if you feel strongly that we should.  Tim riley  talk   15:10, 12 December 2022 (UTC)
 * Fine as it, I believe  Aza24  (talk)   22:01, 13 December 2022 (UTC)


 * Anything that "pianist's cramp" could be linked to? tendonitis?
 * I really don't know. From Croall's biography I infer that it was either muscular or neurological, but the fact is that the cause was never diagnosed.  Tim riley  talk   15:10, 12 December 2022 (UTC)


 * I presume we don't know who Marriages are Made in Heaven is by.
 * I'm glad you asked. It was by Basil Dean – not a nice man but an important figure in British theatre for a good deal of the 20th century. Now added.  Tim riley  talk   15:10, 12 December 2022 (UTC)
 * 1914–1919


 * Many of the characters in this section have WP articles, but this may be overlinking so I'll leave it at your discretion
 * I think we all link rather too much, and I'm not keen on adding links in borderline cases.  Tim riley  talk   15:10, 12 December 2022 (UTC)


 * Otherwise looks good
 * 1920s


 * Looks good
 * 1930s


 * Given that Six Men of Dorset doesn't have an article, it might be worth including the names of Miles Malleson and Harvey Brooks
 * Indeed, and done.  Tim riley  talk   15:10, 12 December 2022 (UTC)
 * Post-war and 1950s


 * The second paragraph has almost all the sentences beginning with "in"—this might be addressed to sound less robotic
 * Absolutely. How impossible it is to see the flaws in one's own prose when attempting to proof-read it. Redrawn.   Tim riley  talk   15:10, 12 December 2022 (UTC)
 * Later years, 1960–1976


 * Does "theatrical retirement home' mean more than simply a retirement home in a play? An odd adjective imo
 * Redrawn. I meant a retirement home for theatre people. I imagine Coward had Denville Hall in mind as the model for the home, "The Wings", in his play. I hope the meaning is now thoroughly clear.   Tim riley  talk   15:10, 12 December 2022 (UTC)


 * I just removed "amateur ghost hunter" from Williamson's Wikipedia page... sigh
 * "The piece received bad reviews"—though the sentences afterwards seem to indicate "mixed reviews"
 * The reviews of the show were all frightful, as far as I can discover (and according to Croall), but not for the first or last time the reviews for the star were much better than for the show.  Tim riley  talk   15:10, 12 December 2022 (UTC)

Miscellaneous

 * Formatting of sources is excellent, though I should note that the script I have installed warns that "Forces War Records" is a "generally unreliable source"
 * Thanks for spotting that. Replaced with a book source.  Tim riley  talk   15:10, 12 December 2022 (UTC)


 * You might consider a word or two in the section headings so they are not exclusively decades. Fine by me either way though
 * You aren't the first reviewer of one of my submissions to say such a thing. Perhaps I'm too literal minded to be good at writing interesting section headings. Suggestions would be gladly received.  Tim riley  talk   15:10, 12 December 2022 (UTC)


 * I wonder if including her performances in Medea and Candida might be fitting in the lead. It seems strange to only mention one specific play there, and I assume she's well known enough in these two to make sense.  Aza24  (talk)   00:12, 12 December 2022 (UTC)
 * I don't think either of these would be right in the lead. You'd have to be older than me – and I'm a septuagenarian – to have seen Thorndike in her peak years, and if people know of her at all now it will, I'm sure, be Saint Joan that pops up in their minds in connexion with her.  Tim riley  talk   15:10, 12 December 2022 (UTC)
 * Thank you for the points, above. Most helpful.  Tim riley  talk   15:10, 12 December 2022 (UTC)
 * Tim, your responses seem most sensible and I believe this article full-fills all the GA requirements. I see no issues with neutrality, stability, or illustrations. Passing now. Best –  Aza24  (talk)   22:05, 13 December 2022 (UTC)
 * Aza24, many thanks for your review. It is greatly appreciated.  Tim riley  talk   09:41, 14 December 2022 (UTC)