Talk:Synchrony (The X-Files)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Khazar2 (talk · contribs) 03:12, 28 December 2012 (UTC)

I'll be glad to do this review. Doing a first readthrough now; I'll list any action points as I go. -- Khazar2 (talk) 03:12, 28 December 2012 (UTC)

First readthrough

 * "who complained with Harry S. Truman about the 1945 atomic bombings of Japan." Should this be "complained to"? Or do you mean that both Oppenheimer and Truman complained about this? (note that this phrase occurs twice)
 * This still needs to be fixed; I'm not sure the statement that Truman complained about the atomic bombings is accurate. (What's the original language of your source?) -- Khazar2 (talk) 19:12, 31 December 2012 (UTC)
 * It's taken from Gordon's statement on the X-Files book used as a ref, reworded a bit more.
 * Can you tell me the book's statement here? Your rephrasing still sounds as if Gordon is saying that both Oppenheimer and Truman complained together about the use of the atomic bomb, which doesn't sound quite right to me. -- Khazar2 (talk) 21:01, 31 December 2012 (UTC)
 * Oppenheimer complained to Truman about the bombings. Rephrased again. Sorry if it was unclear. igordebraga ≠ 22:38, 31 December 2012 (UTC)
 * No problem. That's what I figured you meant, just wanted to be sure. -- Khazar2 (talk) 23:21, 31 December 2012 (UTC)

*"Gordon and Greenwalt got together in Simi Valley and had difficulties in pitching a good plot, with the one that they worked the most, involving a prisoner that gets free by changing his body with another man, being rejected as Gordon felt was too similar to other episodes written by him" -- This sentence gets rather tangled; perhaps split it into two. It's also unclear how Gordon rejects the pair's own pitch--are they pitching themselves? Maybe reject isn't quite the right word here.
 * "What if Oppenheimer could go back to the past and 'uninvent' the bomb?"--this quotation needs context. (Such as "The writers wondered,... ")
 * Characters are inconsistently referred to by first or last name--Jason and Lisa should be consistently referred to by their first names or their last.
 * "What if Oppenheimer could go back to the past and 'uninvent' the bomb?" --quotation needs citation at end of sentence
 * "useless characters" --quotation needs citation at end of sentence

That's it on the first pass. This looks like it's in pretty good shape so far. -- Khazar2 (talk) 04:02, 28 December 2012 (UTC)

Done those, except the quote citation, as those two are backed by the refs at the end of the paragraphs. igordebraga ≠ 15:27, 31 December 2012 (UTC)
 * One item still needs attention. -- Khazar2 (talk) 19:12, 31 December 2012 (UTC)