Talk:Syritta pipiens

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 26 August 2019 and 4 December 2019. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Alicelixuan. Peer reviewers: EllyGrant, Srivera2019, RappaiT.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 10:37, 17 January 2022 (UTC)

Peer comments
The example wikipedia page given on the Diptera project guidelines, house fly, has the following sections:

1	Description 2	Distribution 3	Evolution and taxonomy 4	Life cycle 5	Ecology 6	Relationship with humans 6.1	As a disease vector 6.2	In warfare 6.3	In waste management 6.4	Control 6.5	In science 6.6	In literature 7	References 8	Further reading 9	External links

So I would shoot to have these. "See references for..." phases are generally not considered something to include in a 'good article'. I'd just flesh out what the reference is then cite it. Various things I would think about trying to add: Ecology How this fly is used for laboratory experiments Include physical description and general info in the lead section What does Syritta indicate as a bio-indicator? Also citation needed for the other examples of the relationship to humans. The housefly wikipedia page separates human interaction to "in warfare," "in waste management," etc.

Overall a great start. The photos are quite pretty and the sources seem legit (based on the very brief moments I spent scanning them).

Chickfilkay (talk) 01:36, 1 October 2019 (UTC)

Thanks! I am looking into more information on the fly's relation to humans. Some of the topics are pretty restricted in journal articles. Alicelixuan (talk) 13:54, 1 October 2019 (UTC)

The additions to this article have made it more informative and interesting. By including the life history and social behavior headings, the Syritta pipiens is more relatable to other insects in the Diptera order. For improvements, I would suggest the addition of more photos to accompany each heading, and maybe the inclusion of the egg and adult phase under life history and possibly a pathogen or vector of disease. Besides that the article is a great start and very well cited! stanthewu (talk) 19:36, 1 October 2019 (UTC)

This is a fantastic article, well written and well cited--you even got the pictures in there! I went through and did some general grammar and phrasing edits, as well as adding a couple facts from your sources, but I couldn't find much to improve. It might be interesting (if you do this fly again for your next assignment) to add an "ecology" section since it's such an important fly for both agriculture and in its native environment. This is a fantastic article. EllyGrant (talk) 19:34, 15 October 2019 (UTC)

This is a well-organized, detailed article! I did some overall grammar and sentence structure editing, as well as linked a few more words to existing Wikipedia articles. I also added a little more to the "Parasites" subsection under the "Enemies" heading after reading through the source. If you continue to work on this fly, adding "Egg" and "Adult" sections under the "Life History" heading might improve the thoroughness of that part of the article. Overall, really great entry! RappaiT (talk) 01:46, 18 October 2019 (UTC)

This is a very well structured and concise article especially with the range of content covered. As for some suggestions and comments for the sentence that mentions “ 6,000 known species distributed widely around the world” I was wondering if this came from the same source as the first part of the sentence. I was unsure as the citation was in the middle of the sentence for the beginning of the sentence, thus I was not sure if the latter was part of the citation in the next sentence. Moreover, I would suggest elaborating on what is meant by the term false head taking into consideration readers that may not be familiar with the terminology. Also, I was wondering if the hairs serve a purpose for lava? Overall, however, it is a very well written article and I hope that my suggestions may be of some help.Srivera2019 (talk) 04:17, 18 October 2019 (UTC)

Great article! I changed some sentence structure/wording to make a few things clearer. but overall it was a good read. I also rearranged parts of your lead section to increase word flow, but I suggest you edit this even more, as I think it still could use some work. You had a great amount of information, and the sections appeared to be short and concise. I would suggest just going through and changing any wording that appears awkward, and making sure everything is as clear as possible! Christina.lindberg (talk) 04:17, 3 December 2019 (UTC)

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