Talk:TOCA Touring Car Championship/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Dom497 (talk · contribs) 01:24, 28 January 2018 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria


 * 1) Is it well written?
 * A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
 * B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:
 * 1) Is it verifiable with no original research?
 * A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:
 * B. All in-line citations are from reliable sources, including those for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons&mdash;science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines:
 * C. It contains no original research:
 * D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:
 * B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
 * 1) Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
 * A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
 * B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * Great work!-- Dom497 ( talk ) 18:39, 28 January 2018 (UTC)
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
 * 1) Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
 * A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
 * B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * Great work!-- Dom497 ( talk ) 18:39, 28 January 2018 (UTC)
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * Great work!-- Dom497 ( talk ) 18:39, 28 January 2018 (UTC)
 * Great work!-- Dom497 ( talk ) 18:39, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * The screenshot of the gameplay is missing a fair use license. It just has a rational.
 * Added MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "The player takes control of a driver who races for one of the eight works teams that contested the 1997 British Touring Car Championship against fifteen AI competitors on one of the nine circuits that are part of the championship" - This sentence either needs to be split into two or reworded since it doesn't really flow.
 * Clarified. MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "A championship mode is available for players with a objective" - "...with an objective...", however this can be ignored if my next comment below is addressed.


 * "A championship mode is available for players with a objective of earning points to continue competing and new game features can be unlocked through good results." - Maybe something like "A championship mode is available for players with the objectives of earning points to continue competing and unlocking new features."
 * Reworded. MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "The game features the former racing driver Tiff Needell as the voice" - What voice?
 * The commentary. MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "The game was a commercial success with 600,000 copies sold Europe in the first six months of its release and was as high as third in the United Kingdom video game charts." - "...copies sold in Europe"; also, "and was as high as third in the United Kingdom video game charts" could be reworded to something like: "and was ranked third in the United Kingdom video game charts".
 * Reworded. MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * There is no need to use italics for "TOCA Touring Car Championship".
 * ✅ MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "TOCA Touring Car Championship is a TOCA-licensed 3D racing video game based on the 1997 British Touring Car Championship." - This sentence sounds like it would be more appropriate in the lead or somewhere else since it doesn't really have to do with the gameplay.
 * ✅ MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "two drivers per team" - What does this mean?
 * It means that each of the eight teams had two drivers competing on their behalf. MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "a close-up back-end view or remotely from the car, a perspective from the engine compartment, and an internal view from the passenger compartment" - This sentence doesn't flow. I think the word "or" throws it off.
 * Removed. MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)
 * I missed this originally but the new sentence lists only 3 types of views when it says there are 4.-- Dom497 ( talk ) 17:52, 28 January 2018 (UTC)
 * Fixed. MWright96 (talk) 18:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "A race weekend consists of qualifying and the race" - Maybe provide some context that "qualifying" means an actual "qualifying race".
 * It's actually a qualifying session where players are given three laps to set a lap time to determine their starting position not a race. MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * Given the sentences that follow: "The player may choose to start the event by choosing any of these events.", I don't think this sentence is required. Then, "Should the player elect to begin the race directly" would be reworded to say something like: "Should the player skip the qualifying race...".
 * ✅ MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "TOCA Touring Car Championship offers various game modes" - Why is this being said now? The paragraph above just described one mode.
 * Clarified. MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "A single race allows the player to compete in a race with a predefined car and circuit" - Remove the second "race"
 * ✅ MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "He or she" - Avoid using these words to describe a generic player.
 * Removed. MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "whereby all participants can choose to grant more speed to the losing player" - What does this mean?
 * It means the slower player is granted a speed boost to keep up with the winning competitor. MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "Cups are attributed" - I know this is a silly question but who are the cups awarded to? I'm only asking because the answer should be included in the article to give context.
 * Cups are awarded to the player. MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "During the game's operating period, players could publish their lap times on Codemasters's website and compare themselves to others" - This sentence jumped in the past-tense. If this feature is no longer available, the article should explicitly state this with a reason as to why the feature was discontinued/removed.
 * Unfortunately I was unable to find the necessary information that stated why it was discontinued. MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "Indeed, the game displays a isometric 3D view typical of the games on the Game Boy Color" - Remove the word indeed. Also, there is no need to repeat "Game Boy Color" again.
 * ✅ MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * If "Game Boy Color" has its own sub-section, than the other versions of the game should as well.
 * ✅ MWright96 (talk)


 * "The TOCA Touring Car Championship project was launched by the developer Codemasters in 1996 and was in development for the next eighteen months" - "Development of TOCA Touring Car Championship began in 1996 by Codemasters and took eighteen months to complete"
 * Reworded. MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "In order to realistically model the cars, each one is laser scanned with a precision of a quarter of a millimetre." - The present-tense being used throws off the entire context of this sentence. I'm guessing you meant to say that the real cars were laser scanned and then used to model the in-game cars?
 * Yes, have reworded the sentence to reflect this. MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "These are also from different angles of view and the approach to each circuit were photographed before being modelled in 3D" - I don't understand the "the approach" part of the sentence.
 * Reworded. MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "...for later in the year in September but the release date was later postponed." - Remove "later in the year in".
 * Removed. MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "It differs from the PC and PlayStation versions in that only eight cars compete in all races but retains the basic modes from both versions" - This is already mentioned in the "Game Boy Color" sub-section.
 * Removed. MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "...realism of the simulation that it contained" - Remove "that"
 * ✅ MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "...and then got behind the wheel of several Formula Vee single seater vehicles" - "and then were given the opportunity to drive several Formula Vee single seater vehicles"
 * ✅ MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "A second exercise..." - I don't understand the context of "exercise" nor does the article mention what the first exercise was.
 * Reworded. MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "...by sitting a bucket seat..." - I think you meant to say "...by sitting in a bucket seat..."
 * ✅ MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "...and it reached number three in the United Kingdom official video game charts" - Same idea as what I mentioned about a similar sentence near the beginning of the review.
 * ✅ MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * Are there no sales figures for North America?
 * The only sales figures that I found for North America was in a unreliable source? MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "...received a mostly positive response from critics upon release." - "...received mostly positive responses from critics upon release."
 * Reworded. 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * ""reached such a level of playability and pure excitement," - The comma should be outside of the quotations
 * ✅ MWright96 (talk) 08:35, 28 January 2018 (UTC)


 * "...TOCA Touring Championship a rating of nine out of ten, stating that it was realistic and fun to play, and that "the graphics are fast, detailed and liberally peppered with neat effects, and the sound is among the best to grace a racing sim"." - To many "ands" in this sentence.