Talk:Talkin' Bear Mountain Picnic Massacre Blues/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Premeditated Chaos (talk · contribs) 11:51, 14 May 2022 (UTC)

Staking my claim on this one. I usually review within 7-10 days, but ping me if I let it get past that. &spades;PMC&spades; (talk) 11:51, 14 May 2022 (UTC)

I am the kind of reviewer who makes lots of comments, FA-style, but I don't necessarily expect you'll agree with every single one. I am happy to discuss any you disagree with or don't want implemented, and obviously as this isn't FA, I won't fail the article for anything that's outside of the GA criteria.


 * I made a tweak to the lead to remove passive voice and restore a missing word
 * Who are Clinton Heylin and Paul Williams and why does the reader care about their opinion?
 * I think "song-writing" should be just "songwriting"?
 * Stookey, who was a stand-up comic... - although not a run-on, this sentence goes on for four lines including a quote. Can it be split up somewhere? (Alternate suggestion: the bit about Stookey joining Peter Paul and Mary could be removed, as it isn't really relevant to the song)
 * Who's Howard Sounes? (I'm going to ask this question of every person who gets introduced without context)
 * Stookey gave Dylan... - this feels like a restatement of the first sentence in the section. That being said it also feels like the whole paragraph would need rewriting in order to not have this, so I won't die on this hill.
 * Not amended. Sorry I couldn't put it better! BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 23:53, 21 May 2022 (UTC)


 * "is reputed to have" - "reputedly" is tighter
 * Who's Izzy Young?
 * You need to reintroduce Clinton Heylin outside the lead, since the lead is meant to summarize what's in the body, not replace it
 * Might be worth saying that "Talkin' Bear" didn't appear on Bob Dylan (seems obvious, but right now the reader has to follow the album link or infer from context)
 * Added that it was not released until 1991. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 23:53, 21 May 2022 (UTC)
 * I think it might be better placed in the paragraph that starts "The recordings for Dylan's debut...". Right now the reader learns that a version of the song was recorded for an album, leading to the assumption that it would be on that album, and doesn't get the "not till 1991" context until quite a ways later. &spades;PMC&spades; (talk) 02:17, 23 May 2022 (UTC)


 * What does "record an insert" mean in this context, and why would it piss Dylan off?
 * Expanded on this. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 12:32, 22 May 2022 (UTC)


 * 50th Anniversary should be in italics, and it might be worth clarifying that it was to extend the copyright in Europe
 * Who's Trager? We don't even get a full name.
 * Who's Andy Greene?
 * The sentence that starts "The Sunday News reviewer..." should probably be split into two, since it turns into a bit of a run-on with the length of Atkinson's quote.

Sourcing checks out, article is stable, Earwig hits are the article title/album titles, and no other major concerns. &spades;PMC&spades; (talk) 07:38, 21 May 2022 (UTC)
 * Many thanks, . I've acted on all of the comments except the one about the restructuring of a particular paragraph. Let me know if anything else is required. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk)
 * Just the one remaining nitpick for clarity, and then we're good to go here, . Everything else is either addressed or reasonably argued not to be. &spades;PMC&spades; (talk) 02:18, 23 May 2022 (UTC)
 * I've moved that, . Thanks and regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 11:59, 23 May 2022 (UTC)
 * And we're go for the green circle! :) Cheers! &spades;PMC&spades; (talk) 20:14, 23 May 2022 (UTC)