Talk:Tana Tidung Regency/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: PCN02WPS (talk · contribs) 17:52, 2 January 2022 (UTC)

Hi there, I'll be reviewing this article shortly. PCN02WPS ( talk  &#124;  contribs ) 17:52, 2 January 2022 (UTC)

I've left comments on each of the article's sections, so I'll place the nominations on hold to give you time to address them. No rush. PCN02WPS ( talk  &#124;  contribs ) 03:05, 3 January 2022 (UTC)


 * Hi, thank you for the review. I will address the problems as soon as possible. Nyanardsan (talk) 06:38, 3 January 2022 (UTC)
 * @PCN02WPS I have addressed all the problems you mentioned. I merged politics and local government subsection since there is not much unique to the regency in terms of government structure, but I still think it is important to briefly explain how regencies in Indonesia works to the reader.
 * Please take a look, thank you~ Nyanardsan (talk) 07:23, 3 January 2022 (UTC)
 * I have addressed two issues that are written in the table, please take a look now Nyanardsan (talk) 09:56, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
 * Thank you, that's all that I have! The article looks good, and I am happy to pass it. Well done!  PCN02WPS  ( talk  &#124;  contribs ) 17:36, 10 January 2022 (UTC)

Lead/infobox
The lead is fine, if not a little short; perhaps a bit from the "history" section could be placed there before "created in 2007" as a bit of context.
 * The "HDI" parameter in the infobox has a bit with yellow text that is not readable, which violates MOS:CONTRAST; yellow is also on the list of colors that are not acceptable against a white background as listed at MOS:ONWHITE
 * Even though it's linked in the infobox, I think Tideng Pale could be linked in the lead as well.

Etymology

 * "The name, Tidung, comes from the word..." → I don't think the commas before and after "Tidung" are necessary.
 * "The town's name, Tideng Pale..." → I'd change to reflect that this is not the only town, as the current wording is a bit ambiguous.
 * The meaning of the word tideng is given in the previous sentence, and it is given in lowercase at first and uppercase at the second mention, which should probably be consistent.

Early history

 * First sentence should probably be sourced, and "it is believed" sounds a bit vague; perhaps specify whether this is a broad consensus or a niche theory, or something in between.
 * "The spread of Islam in Indonesia..." → Islam in Indonesia could be linked here.
 * "Its first king is thought..." → specify to what extent this is thought (same as above), and "its king" is a bit ambiguous as it is unclear which kingdom (Tidung or Berayu) it refers to.
 * "The last King of Tidung..." → "King" is capitalized here but is lowercase earlier in the paragraph - I'd be consistent with capitalization here.
 * A brief explanation of what Afdeeling Tidoengschelanden is would be helpful as some readers (myself included) are unfamiliar with this term.

Post-independence

 * "The creation of a Tidung-dominated regency was realized in 2007 based on Law Number 34 of 2007" → This sounds slightly redundant, I'd reword to eliminate one of the two bolded parts (emphasis is mine).

Geography

 * "has an area" → This isn't super crucial, but I think it'd be helpful to specify whether you're referring to land area or total area here.
 * "between 0-40% grade" → I'd change the hyphen (-) to an endash (–).
 * "most of its flat land with a slope of less than eight percent is along the coast" → add bolded word (emphasis is mine). I'd also think about converting "eight" to a numeral "8" even though it's less than ten, since the "0" and "40" in the prior sentence are given as numerals.
 * Give the range in temperature as 21–25 rather than 25/21; the latter is not immediately recognizable as a range.

Governance

 * "2010 Census" and "2020 Census" could be linked to 2010 Indonesian census and 2020 Indonesian census, respectively.
 * "by splitting them off from the Sesayap and the Sesayap Hilir Districts respectively" → bolded word should be added.
 * The local government subsection is a bit generic - it gives some broad information about regencies but doesn't give any specific information about the local government of the Tana Tidung Regency in specific.
 * I think the table in the "politics" subsection could be converted to prose at the end of the existing paragraph.

Economy

 * I would word the agricultural output similarly to the livestock output; worded as "74.5 tons of chili" as opposed to "chili with 74.5 tons".
 * Warung doesn't look like it needs to be italicized and put in quotation marks; I think the quotes are unnecessary after taking a look at the target article.
 * "...which handle most transactions." → Most transactions in the country are handled by the previously mentioned 342 warungs, or those 342 handle a majority of transactions among all warungs in the country?
 * "-0.74%" → A minus sign (−) should be used, rather than a hyphen (-).

Demographics

 * Is "regions" being used as a specific term or a general term? Should "regencies" be used here instead?
 * What constitutes being "economically active"? This term doesn't mean as much if the reader doesn't know what exactly it means.
 * "Tana Tidung is the least populated regency in the entire country, and consists of a large island in the northeast of the regency" → This doesn't quite make sense - the regency consists of a large island in the northeast of the regency?
 * This may be a mistake with my math but I think the sex ratio would be 1.15 if there were 115 males for every 100 females.
 * I'd move Hinduism behind Buddhism so you can keep the religions in order of percentage.

Infrastructure

 * Since puskesmas is plural, I'd change the translation "community health clinic" to the plural "...clinics".