Talk:Tantallon Castle/GA1

GA Review
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Commencing review Ben   Mac  Dui  17:28, 12 October 2009 (UTC)

Prose quality:
 * Good throughout (although in general you use too many commas for my liking) - and here are a few specific quibbles.
 * "There are several small chambers within the walls, and stairs, with arched ceilings, accessing the parapet walk." The are lots of commas here that don't help me. I think you mean:
 * "There are several small chambers within the walls, and stairs with arched ceilings accessing the parapet walk." rather than
 * "There are several small chambers within the walls and stairs, with arched ceilings accessing the parapet walk." or even
 * There are several small chambers within the walls, and stairs with arched ceilings, accessing the parapet walk.
 * Is there a reason why "curtain wall" is in quotes in the history section? - we already know what you mean.
 * "The Yester Writs (no.798) record an Andrew..." I would have thought the number should be part of the citation, not the text. See also below.
 * All fair enough and dealt with.

MoS compliance:
 * Links to Bailey & Marmion are dabs.
 * Lead - this should have a brief mention of the ghostly apparition.
 * Even though its guff? Oh well OK then...
 * Well of course its guff, but if its got its own section it should really be alluded to. There is an alternative.....
 * I know, but its there now...

Factual accuracy:
 * "Tantallon is of a singular construction within Scotland, due to its location on a promontory." It may well be of a singular construction, but this surely cannot be because of the location alone. Dunottar? Dunstaffnage?
 * Hmm, fair point, will rephrase.
 * Have reworded this

References to sources:
 * References 2 & 10 have spaces before the page number, which are inconsistent with the remainder.
 * Ref 10 is doubly inconsistent- the publication details should be added to the bibliography. Possibly also ref 27, although that's optional.
 * Ref 22 should end in a period

Bibliography
 * Historic Manuscripts Commission surely doesn't need a page number. Accounts of the Lord High Treasurer of Scotland likewise (I note the talk page history).
 * Lindsay (1986) should have a place of publication, and ideally an ISBN.
 * Maxwell (1902) - assuming Freemantle is the publisher, London is placed inconsistently. Ditto for Embra in MacGibbon (1887).
 * McKean (2004) through to Tabraham (1997) all lack a place of publication. All converted to cite book and filled out
 * Mackay, Elspeth is a dead link. Updated

Image copyright:
 * There is a query of some kind re File:George Monck 1st Duke of Albemarle Studio of Lely.jpg. I will have to check this out.
 * Everything uploaded from the NPG has this tag, but the images are still there, so I don't know what their status is. There are other pictures of Monck if its a problem.
 * It's fine. See User talk:Awadewit. Ben   Mac  Dui  07:42, 14 October 2009 (UTC)

Whilst I don't believe it is necessary for this GA candidature I recommend using Convert for metric/imperial translations. For example 60 by produces "60 by" without the need to add brackets etc., etc. Ben   Mac  Dui  19:23, 12 October 2009 (UTC)


 * Many thanks for your review. I have started the changes and will address the rest within the next couple of days. Regards, Jonathan Oldenbuck (talk) 17:48, 13 October 2009 (UTC)


 * OK I think I have now addressed all the points listed above, please go ahead and complete the review. Thanks, Jonathan Oldenbuck (talk) 12:40, 14 October 2009 (UTC)

Passed - good work. Ben  Mac  Dui  18:40, 14 October 2009 (UTC)