Talk:Tellico Dam/GA2

GA Review
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Reviewer: Larataguera (talk · contribs) 10:27, 30 April 2023 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

 I am reviewing this article and will leave comments in the next few days. Larataguera (talk) 10:27, 30 April 2023 (UTC)
 * , I think you've probably done a good job with this article overall, and it seems to be relatively complete (although I haven't researched it in depth to be sure). I have noted concerns about the prose below, which echo concerns from the previous review. My standards for concise prose are fairly high, so you may have better luck from another reviewer on this, but I think the article would be a lot better if it were more concise. Let me know if you have any questions. Thanks! Larataguera (talk) 12:47, 30 April 2023 (UTC)
 * Failed until prose can be made more concise. Larataguera (talk) 23:59, 15 May 2023 (UTC)

Taken individually, none of these changes are super important, but such revisions are necessary throughout the article. I estimate that the length of the article could be reduced by 20%-25% with concise style and without losing any information. I will hold the review for two weeks to see if someone can complete these revisions throughout the article, and if not I will have to fail without further investigation. (Criteria marked are unassessed)
 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a. (prose, spelling, and grammar):
 * The article still needs substantial copyediting for concise style. Just in the first paragraphs of the background section we would need the following changes:
 * The Tennessee Valley Authority (TVA) was formally established in 1933 as part of programs under the New Deal. The agency was initially tasked with modernizing the region, using experts and electricity to combat human and economic problems->"The Tennessee Valley Authority (TVA) was established in 1933 as part of the New Deal. The agency was tasked with modernizing the region, using experts and electricity to combat economic problems" (remove extra words; which human problems? this would need to be clarified or removed)
 * In 1959, TVA chairman Red Wagner approved the restart of project development on the Fort Loudoun Extension, now named the Tellico Project.->"In 1959, the TVA reapproved development of the Fort Loudoun Extension, now called the Tellico Project" (22 words -> 16)
 * Timberlake, the TVA's ambitious attempt at creating a city from scratch, aimed at providing a high-quality and self-sufficient city supporting an estimated population of 42,000. "Timberlake was envisioned as a planned community of about 42,000 people." (I’m sure it was ambitious, but would it ever have been self-sufficient? Certainly not. This reads like TVA marketing.)
 * The project was promoted as a nationwide demonstration of land use initiatives and economic development for the poor rural area of the Little Tennessee Valley, to transform it into a thriving economic urban center. -> "The project was promoted as a demonstration of economic development for the rural poor, transforming the Little Tennessee Valley into a thriving urban center." (34 words – 24; it was obviously not a nationwide demonstration).
 * The Tellico Dam component of the Timberlake initiative was planned to provide a large-size reservoir for water sports for recreation purposes and for freight transport via barge for proposed industrial sites that would get access to the Tennessee River through a canal. -> "The Tellico Dam would provide a large reservoir for recreation and for freight transport to proposed industrial sites with access to the Tennessee River through a canal" (42 words -> 27; same information).
 * Despite no plans for generating electricity at the Tellico Dam site, the canal that was part of the project enabled an extra 23 MW of power generation capacity by diverting the flow of the Little Tennessee upstream of Fort Loudoun Dam. -> "The dam would not produce electricity, but the canal would enable an additional 23 MW of power generation at the Fort Loudon Dam by diverting flow from the Little Tennessee River" (41 words -> 31, same information).
 * The Timberlake project obtained support with the announcement of major investment from the Boeing Corporation along with Congressional aid. -> The Timberlake project was initially supported with congressional aid and investment from Boeing Corporation. (19 words->14)
 * The plans for the City of Timberlake never fully materialized and were discontinued in 1975 following pullout from Boeing, who cited the project as not economically feasible. -> "Boeing determined that the project was not economically feasible and withdrew in 1975; the plans never fully materialized" (27 words -> 18)
 * The plans for the City of Timberlake never fully materialized and were discontinued in 1975 following pullout from Boeing, who cited the project as not economically feasible. -> "Boeing determined that the project was not economically feasible and withdrew in 1975; the plans never fully materialized" (27 words -> 18)
 * b. (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a. (reference section):
 * b. (citations to reliable sources):
 * c. (OR):
 * d. (copyvio and plagiarism):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a. (major aspects):
 * b. (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a. (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):
 * b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/fail:
 * b. (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a. (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):
 * b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/fail:
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a. (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):
 * b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/fail:
 * b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/fail:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/fail:
 * Pass/fail: