Talk:Temple Israel (Dayton, Ohio)

Comments

 * "and while he was rabbi no-one wore a skullcap in the Temple, as was his preference" in section "Samuel Mayersberg, Salem and Emerson building, Louis Witt": seems ambiguous to me: was his preference to wear the skull-cap, or not to wear it? Not, I presume, but it could be reworded somehow to make that clearer, e.g. "while he was rabbi, following his preference, no-one wore a skullcap in the Temple."
 * "including as an "ordinary seamen in the merchant marine")" in section "Selwyn Ruslander, new sanctuary": if the original quote has the plural "seamen", it can be represented as "seam[a]n", since the overall sentence requires a singular.
 * "reinstated/inaugurated" in section "Selwyn Ruslander, new sanctuary": I think the MOS decries that use of the slash.  What exactly did he do?  "reinstated or inaugurated or both"?  "reinstated the bar mitsvah and inaugurated the bat mitzvah"?
 * The section headings mentioning both a name of a rabbi and an architectural thingy are nice in a way but maybe some of them could be replaced with section headings that sound more like a single logical concept.
 * "Possibly Dayton's then "best known clergyman of any faith", during his tenure Temple Israel experienced rapid growth." Like a dangling participle, I see grammatical incorrectness in this sentence but haven't yet thought of a good rewording.
 * Here I switched the order of two sentences while joining them into one; I'm not sure whether the references need to be moved as a result: ☺ Coppertwig (talk) 20:13, 2 January 2010 (UTC)
 * Thanks for copy-editing the article. In response to your points:
 * Good point, changed.
 * Good point, fixed.
 * Fixed again.
 * These titles made the most sense to me, but I'm certainly open to other ideas.
 * Me neither. :-)
 * The references are still fine, they're in numerical order anyway.
 * Jayjg (talk) 02:12, 3 January 2010 (UTC)
 * Thanks! I've also tweaked the section headings. Congratulations on another well-written and well-researched article, Jayjg! ☺ Coppertwig (talk) 19:12, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
 * Thank you, and thanks for all the improvements! Jayjg (talk) 06:05, 10 January 2010 (UTC)

By the way, I had put a link in the disambiguation page Temple Israel along with a very short summary. Many of the other temples have longer summaries, so someone might want to add to it. ☺ Coppertwig (talk) 18:39, 17 January 2010 (UTC)

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