Talk:Texan schooner Independence

GA Review
Hi, nice article which only needs a handful of simple tweaks to become a GA.
 * The lead must be reorganised. Move the 4th paragraph in between the 1st and 2nd sentances of the 1st paragraph and then merge the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs together, leaving two neat paragraphs at the top.
 * Instead of "skirmishing without result with the Mexican brigs Urrea and Bravo", try "skirmishing inconclusively with . . ."
 * Link to the correct Santa Anna (Antonio López de Santa Anna).
 * Make sure all references come after punctuation without a space.
 * Link to the Treaty of Velasco and remove the adjective "strongman" unless it has a special significance I am unwaware of (in which case explain it in the article).
 * Rumors of an imminent invasion of Texas.
 * Remove comma in: "while there, Commodore Hawkins"
 * In the battle and surrender section, introduce the paragraph i.e. "On her next cruise, Independence had had seven days smooth sailing when. . . "
 * Change "What the populace" to "The populace" and remove the "was" which follows it.
 * Remove the comma after captain and try to explain more clearly how Independence was raked: Were the Mexicans faster? Was she badly handled? was it a wind problem?
 * As there is no artice for Mexican schooner La Independencia can you briefly shed some light on the schooner's future career? When did she retire, was she sunk etc.

In all, a good article with the clear potential to reach GA status. Nice work.--Jackyd101 01:44, 4 December 2007 (UTC)
 * Thanks for your excellent and helpful review. I made all the requested changes, except the final one: I cannot find any further references to the career of this ship in the Mexican Navy. I hope this acceptable and appreciate your review.  Argos '  Dad  00:56, 9 December 2007 (UTC)


 * Nice work, don't worry too much about the Mexican career, I guess that's something for the future. Well done, a fine GA--Jackyd101 (talk) 09:21, 10 December 2007 (UTC)

Close paraphrasing of Hawkins article at tshaonline.org
While Moonriddengirl has addressed some of the close paraphrasing in this article (and a great deal of that and worse in the Texan schooner Invincible article), there are still clear significant instances of it remaining when you compare the article to the Texas State Historical Association's online article for Charles Edward Hawkins (currently source 1 in the article). Hence, I have placed a close paraphrasing template on the article, and it should remain until the close paraphrasing has been eliminated. BlueMoonset (talk) 00:22, 21 February 2015 (UTC)