Talk:Tham Nguyen/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: BennyOnTheLoose (talk · contribs) 14:29, 8 February 2024 (UTC)

Happy to discuss, or be challenged on, any of my review comments. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 14:29, 8 February 2024 (UTC)


 * @BennyOnTheLoose I believe most of the comments and suggestions have been addressed, please let me know if everything is up to standard or there would be some tweaks that I could edit. Thank you! Arconning (talk) 17:09, 17 February 2024 (UTC)

I made some minor changes to the article. Feel free to disagree with any.

Lead
 * Although it's a short article, the lead is just a single sentence. Maybe mention how she got into the sport, the periods she has been active in the sport, the nature of her entrepreneurship, or just some general career details?
 * Extended. Let me know if there's some things I could add or change.
 * Date of birth not cited either here or in the body of the text.
 * Added.

Infobox Same aplies for "Club CrossFit Baldoyle Weightlifting Club" Same aplies for "Coached by	Mohamed Faizal Baharom, Beata Jung, Mark Gough"
 * Nicknames - not cited (really should be included in the body of the article, and cited there)
 * Through further research, Miss Muscles is a more personal nickname. Added and sourced info about her other nickname.
 * Removed for lack of sources.
 * Added sources.

Early life
 * Repetition of "born" in "(born Nguyễn Thẩm) was born" - see MOS:NEE.
 * Done. Changed to her birth name as the section specifies.
 * "and Thuy Nguyen, where she, her parents, and her brother, Nhat, immigrated to Ireland in 2003 when she was six years old." - I suggest something like "and Thuy Nguyen. She, her parents, and her brother, Nhat, immigrated to Ireland in 2003 when she was six years old." (I'd also prefer "emigrated" to "immigrated", but I leave that to you.
 * Changed. Done.
 * "Living first in Belturbet, then Santry, before settling in Clarehall" - maybe "they first lived in Belturbet, then Santry, before settling in Clarehall"
 * Done.
 * "She said that life was hard that sometimes her family could not afford food" - "She said that life was hard and that sometimes her family could not afford food"
 * Done.
 * SPot check on "She said that life was hard that sometimes her family could not afford food" - no issues.
 * "sports, stating she was active growing up pursuing Irish dancing." - maybe "sports. She was active growing up pursuing Irish dancing."
 * Done.
 * "where she along with her brother manages it from time to time." - "and she and her brother manages it from time to time."
 * Done.
 * Spot check on "she was active growing up pursuing Irish dancing" - no issues
 * "she was active growing up pursuing Irish dancing" - I suggest "she was active growing up, and pursued Irish dancing"
 * Done.
 * Spot check on "Her parents opened a Chinese takeaway in 2012 to support the family" - not supported by cited source
 * Done.
 * Spot check on "A coach at the gym noticed her performance and encouraged her to try out weightlifting." is almost exactly the same as the source, "A coach at the gym noticed her performance and encouraged her to try weightlifting." Needs reworking.
 * Done.

Career
 * What part of the sources supports "After her first competition,"?
 * Source 5 by Her Sport.
 * What part of the source supports "She placed 35th in the women's 48 kg category dropping some weight"?
 * Changed to "she placed 35th in the women's 48th category" as the source explicitly states that.
 * "Then competing at the 2016 Junior World Weightlifting Championships where she placed 15th in the same category." - ungrammatical
 * Changed. Done.

Personal life
 * "She has a cousin named Ly." - doesn't seem important enough to be included.
 * Done.
 * "She has a husband named Mark Gough, whom she has two children with him, Lilly and Marc." - ungrammatical
 * Changed. Done.
 * Spot check on "She and her husband had opened up a CrossFit gym in Baldoyle" - source does not confirm the gym's location.
 * Sourced. Done.


 * Thanks for your work on the article. However, as it stands, it's a long way from meeting criteria 1a and 2b above, and I was thinking of failing it. However, I'm willing to give you some time to address the comments above. After that, if there's been enough improvement, I'll continue the review. I suggest that before future nominations, you request a copy edit at WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors/Requests. Let me know if you have any questions. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 23:59, 8 February 2024 (UTC)

Thanks,. The article is in a much better way now. I made a few minor tweaks, hopefully nothing objectionable. A couple more points are below. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 22:39, 18 February 2024 (UTC)
 * Lead:"cementing her legacy in Irish sport" seems unsupported by sources.


 * @ Changed the wording on the quote. "Cementing her legacy in Irish sport" is more suitable for a feature article, omitted. Hope everything looks great by now! Arconning (talk) 01:32, 19 February 2024 (UTC)


 * Spot check on "emotionally, mentally, physically, and financially tired" - source has "emotionally, mentally, physically and financially exhausted."

I'm satisfied that the article meets the GA criteria, so I'm passing it. Thanks,. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 17:19, 19 February 2024 (UTC)


 * BennyOnTheLoose, thank you so much! I'll be waiting until the article has been passed officially! Regards, Arconning (talk) 05:48, 20 February 2024 (UTC)
 * Pushing the button now, - I was holding on to see if a weightlifting heading should be created. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 13:33, 20 February 2024 (UTC)