Talk:The 1975 (song)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Kyle Peake (talk · contribs) 16:54, 31 May 2020 (UTC)

I'll try to deliver a thorough review of this before the GAN Backlog Drive ends. --Kyle Peake (talk) 16:54, 31 May 2020 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Remove Stockholm from the infobox since that's not a studio
 * Are you sure protest song is a genre in itself?
 * Hmm, I think one could reasonably argue that it is but I've taken it out just for safety.
 * "is the opening song of The 1975's fourth studio album Notes on a Conditional Form" → "is a song by The 1975 from their fourth studio album, Notes on a Conditional Form (2020)"
 * "while the album was released on 22 May 2020" → "while included on the album as the opening track in May of the following year"
 * "used on the band's previous albums" → "featured on the band's previous albums"
 * Target climate change to Global warming
 * The link is not broken unless there's a specific exceptional reason here.
 * "Extinction Rebellion, the song's release coinciding" → "Extinction Rebellion and the song's release coincided"
 * This makes it an independent clause so I've changed the comma to a semicolon as well (see comma splice).
 * "The 1975 with the" → "The 1975, which had the"
 * "It received positive critical reception, critics praising the song's" → "The song received mostly positive reviews from music critics, who praised its"
 * "its message and the album's transition from this song" → "the message and the transition on Notes on a Conditional Form from the song"

Background

 * Change the img alt text to something more relevant and not as generic; also, main text should have a fullstop at the end of it.
 * "The first," → "The first album,"
 * Remove wikilink to the second album
 * Once in the lead and once in the body is fine per MOS:DUPLINK.
 * "was released on 22 May 2020" → "was later released on 22 May 2020"
 * "is the first track on Notes on a Conditional Form" → "is the opening track on the album"
 * Went with opening track on the latter just for unambiguity.
 * Target climate change to Global warming
 * See my reply to the same comment above.
 * "She recorded the song "The 1975" in" → "Thunberg recorded "The 1975" in"
 * "Thunberg was the first featured" → "she was the first featured"
 * "The 1975 manager Jamie Oborne" → "The 1975's manager Jamie Oborne"
 * "claimed that" → "stated that"
 * "that he wanted to Thunberg to" → "that he wanted Thunberg to"
 * "but this was unsuccessful" → "but he was unsuccessful"

Composition

 * Add ref(s) to verify the audio file's info after the text
 * "In Notes on a Conditional Form" → "On Notes on a Conditional Form"
 * "the album opens with a protest song featuring" → "a protest song opens the album that features"
 * Mixed the two to a protest song opens the album, featuring a spoken word ... because otherwise it sounds more like that album is what features the performance.
 * "performance by Greta Thunberg" → "performance by Thunberg"
 * I'll de-link per overlink but I think it's worth repeating the full name for anyone who's jumped into this section.
 * No it's not, since you have already introduced the person earlier in the article's body; you do not need to reinstate the name for each new section. --Kyle Peake (talk) 20:04, 1 June 2020 (UTC)
 * Removed, since you feel strongly about it. — Bilorv ( talk ) 08:08, 2 June 2020 (UTC)
 * Wikilink ambient music to itself
 * [8][16] can go at the end of the sentence instead
 * "by the band to more" → "by The 1975 to more"
 * Target political to Music and politics

Release and performance

 * Retitle to Release and promotion
 * "on the album Notes on a Conditional Form, and" → "on Notes on a Conditional Form, and"
 * "its recording in June 2019 it was" → "the recording in June 2019, it was"
 * "performances included the" → "performances included at the"
 * "where the band planned" → "where The 1975 planned"

Critical reception

 * Too many uses of "of" in this section; replace some with terms like "from"
 * "Reviews following the song's" → "Critical reviews following the song's"
 * "Sean Lang praised that lead vocalist Matthew Healy" → "Sean Lang from the publication praised that Healy"
 * "praised the song as" → "complemented the song as"
 * complimented, I think you mean.
 * "more hardcore" → "more hardcore track"
 * "from the band's former releases" → "from The 1975's previous releases"

Personnel

 * "Credits are adapted from" → "Credits adapted from"
 * Any specific order here?
 * Alphabetical by surname.

Final comments and verdict

 * , reviewed on time haha! --Kyle Peake (talk) 21:20, 31 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the comments, responded to a couple and implemented all others. — Bilorv ( talk ) 07:43, 1 June 2020 (UTC)
 * ✅ time has come! --Kyle Peake (talk) 10:12, 2 June 2020 (UTC)