Talk:The Birthday Party (song)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 19:44, 29 January 2021 (UTC)

After the amazing response from you to the last couple reviews I delivered, I will take this on! --K. Peake 19:44, 29 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Brilliant stuff, thank you!  Gia co bbe  talk 21:13, 29 January 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Replace hlist with bullet points per Template:Infobox song ✅
 * "on 19 February 2020 through" → "on 19 February 2020 by" ✅
 * "It features contributions from" → "Contributions are featured from" ✅
 * You should write out about the roles of Reynold and Ross in composition, as info in the lead about comp should be written in the section ✅
 * Remove wikilink on California ✅
 * Wikilink lead single ✅
 * Target ballad to Sentimental ballad ✅
 * Remove "plucked" since that part is not notable for the lead ✅
 * "In addition to folk and country music," → "In addition to the main genres," ✅
 * "incorporates elements from of" → "incorporates elements of" ✅
 * Where is the "continuous" part of the following sentence mentioned? ✅
 * "deeming it an album highlight." → "deeming it a highlight of Notes on a Conditional Form." ✅
 * The term "however" should not start the negative reception sentence, as the reviews being mixed makes this contrast to positive reviews expected ✅
 * "Commercially, the single achieved" → "Commercially, the song achieved" ✅
 * "on the UK Singles Chart, and" → "on the UK Singles Chart and" ✅
 * "A computer animated music video," → "An accompanying computer animated music video," ✅
 * "The video was well-received" → "The visual was well-received" ✅
 * "including it in" → "including it on" ✅

Background and release

 * "and later for 24 April 2020." → "and later for 24 April." ✅
 * "early music recorded under the monicker" → "earlier music recorded under the monicker of" ✅
 * "Daniel also noted inspiration" → "The members also noted inspiration" since it was Healy who mentioned Elliot Smith but they both mentioned Bright Eyes ✅
 * Wikilink emo ✅
 * Wikilink folk here per MOS:LINKSTYLE ✅
 * "in between"." → "in between."" since that is the end of the full sentences quoted ✅
 * "was the first track the band" → "was the album's first track the 1975" ✅
 * "It was originally" → "The song was originally" ✅
 * Target first single to Lead single ✅
 * Wikilink Twitter ✅
 * Target "People" to People (The 1975 song) on the first mention instead ✅
 * Target single to Single (music) ✅

Recording

 * Img looks good!
 * Remove wikilink on California ✅
 * Wikilink acoustic guitar ✅
 * "followed by Daniel layering" → "followed by Daniel's layering ✅
 * "different pitches at different speeds." → "different pitches at varying speeds." with the target ✅
 * "mid, and late" → "mid and late", as this article is in British English ✅
 * "saying he had to" → "with Healy saying he had to" ✅
 * The words "now" and "career" should be italicised like they are in the quote ✅
 * Wikilink relapsed ✅
 * "but the band chose" → "but the 1975 chose" ✅
 * Target distorted to Distortion (music) ✅
 * "all of them. The band dismissed the chorus idea, and chose" → "all of them, going on to dismiss the chorus idea and chose" to stop having a sentence that is too short ✅
 * Target brass to Brass instrument ✅
 * "they wanted to" → "the 1975 wanted to" ✅
 * "but later decided it" what are you referring to here? If it is "the lyrics", then reword to that. ✅

Composition

 * Retitle to Composition and lyrics ✅
 * The audio sample is incorrectly named and target structure to Song structure plus wikilink stream of consciousness ✅
 * ""The Birthday Party" is an" → "Musically, "The Birthday Party" is an" ✅
 * Remove wikilink on folk ✅
 * Target ballad to Sentimental ballad ✅
 * The folk genre is not sourced unless I missed something, neither is the length ✅
 * Wikilink sheet music ✅
 * Remove wikilink on common time ✅
 * "of A♭3 to B♭4." → "of A♭3 and B♭4." ✅
 * "It contains elements" → "The song contains elements" ✅
 * [27][19] should be put in numerical order ✅
 * [30] is useless, not offering any mention of the song
 * See point below.  Gia co bbe  talk 20:31, 30 January 2021 (UTC)
 * The spoken word, stream of consciousness and characteristically found in country music parts are all not backed up; add the appropriate source(s)
 * They are: "A foot-scuffing stream-of-consciousness" + "a drowsy acoustic song with some of the conversational spoken-word touches found in many threads of modern country music.."  Gia co bbe  talk 20:31, 30 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Kyle Kohner of" → "while Kyle Kohner of" ✅
 * "while his colleague" → "while fellow Stereogum writer" ✅
 * "and recounts a series" → "recounting a series" ✅
 * [19][16] put in numerical order ✅
 * The codependent friendships part is not sourced and if it's part of the challenges, remove the comma ✅
 * "the song saw" → "the song sees" ✅
 * "intimacy, sociality, and" → "intimacy, sociality and" ✅
 * "he's self-aware"." → "he's self-aware."" per MOS:QUOTE ✅
 * The img should be at the start of the second para instead ✅
 * [37][16] put in numerical order ✅
 * "a man named Greg," → "a friend named Greg," for proper identification ✅
 * [16] offers no mention of the lyrics being from Greg; add [25] after it for the one at the end of the second sentence ✅
 * The "saying he is faithful to his "missus"" is not mentioned by any of the sources ✅
 * "("Then drink your kombucha" → "("Drink your kombucha" since that is what the source really starts the quote with
 * Added in source of lyric from album booklet.  Gia co bbe  talk 20:51, 30 January 2021 (UTC)


 * The later part of the above sentence is unsourced
 * See point above.  Gia co bbe  talk 20:51, 30 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Remove wikilink on relapse ✅
 * "as it seems"." → "as it seems."" since that is a full quote and change to being one line as the source presents it rather than separated with slash ✅
 * Added in source of lyric from album booklet for slash.  Gia co bbe  talk 20:51, 30 January 2021 (UTC)

Critical reception

 * "received a mixed response" → "was met with a mixed response" ✅
 * [40] is not useful since the quote about not receiving the best reception is unspecific and the section backs up the mixed reviews claim
 * I agree with you. However, I've run into situations where reviewers will not allow (also here and here) summarization of reviews ("generally positive reviews", "mixed", etc.) unless a source supports it. You can see my opinion on this here, which agrees with what you just said. If you'd like me to remove it, I will, but I'd like your opinion on this.  Gia co bbe  talk 21:11, 30 January 2021 (UTC)
 * I agree with what you said in the discussion; WP:SYNTH is not really applicable for musical reception, also I removed this for you since it's the only pending change and this is the morning later. --K. Peake 06:28, 31 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "called extolled the upbeat," → "praised the song's upbeat," ✅
 * "the sixteenth best song" → "the 16th best song" per MOS:NUM ✅
 * "Ben Boddez of the Vancouver Weekly deemed it" → "Boddez deemed it" ✅
 * "Boddez praised the" → "He praised the" ✅
 * Remove wikilink on "Frail State of Mind" ✅
 * "humorous lyrics, and" → "humorous lyrics and" ✅
 * Insider should be italicised and targeted to Insider (website) per MOS:LINK2SECT ✅
 * "praised the band for" → "praised the 1975 for" ✅
 * "to do it"." → "to do it."" ✅
 * "saying it gave" → "saying it gives" ✅
 * "noting they provided" → "noting they provide" ✅
 * "listened closely to the lyrics, saying it was" → "listen closely to the lyrics, saying it is" ✅
 * "Leas called it a" → "Leas called the song a" ✅
 * "saying it contained" → "saying it contains" ✅
 * "Schrodt called it" → "Schrodt called the song" ✅
 * Remove target on Paste ✅
 * "and said the band failed to" → "and noted the 1975 failing to" ✅
 * "deemed it a" → "deemed the line a"
 * The reviewer was referring to the entire song. Reworded.  Gia co bbe  talk 21:11, 30 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "of [leaves it]"." → "of [leaves it]."" ✅
 * "contained topics which deserved" → "contain topics which deserve" ✅
 * "saying it was an attempt to" → "labelling it an attempt to" ✅

Background and release

 * Img looks good!
 * Remove wikilink on music video ✅
 * "with The 1975" → "with [t]he 1975" to fix MOS:THEMUSIC error with the quote ✅
 * "and multilayered narrative"." → "and multilayered narrative."" per MOS:QUOTE ✅
 * "this impact and showcase" → "the impact and showcased" ✅
 * Wikilink motion capture ✅
 * "for the masses"." → "for the masses."" since you are treating this as having started the full sentence with the ellipsis ✅
 * "press and booking emails," → "directions to press and booking emails," ✅
 * "also created, and Healy" → "also created and Healy" ✅
 * "Instagram captioned "MIND SHOWER"." → "Instagram captioned, "MIND SHOWER."" with the wikilink ✅
 * reLeased → released ✅

Synopsis

 * It is backed up that the opening is reminiscent of the Care Bears, but not that it is a title card
 * ""Is that the Care Bears title sequence?""  Gia co bbe  talk 21:32, 30 January 2021 (UTC)


 * The neon, EPs, self-titled album and I Like It When You Sleep, for You Are So Beautiful yet So Unaware of It parts are not sourced
 * Should I just put "the box"? Because this is "the box" referred to and cited in this source.  Gia co bbe  talk 21:32, 30 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "He encounters a" → "Healy encounters a" ✅
 * Picardía is not sourced as the illustration's name ✅
 * "Healy is then" → "He is then" ✅
 * "on giant mushrooms." → "on a giant mushroom." ✅
 * [57][56][58] put in numerical order ✅
 * Manson is not sourced as the character from the series ✅
 * The "visits a pond in the forest" part is not backed up, though the remainder of the sentence is
 * I need a source to prove that a pond is a pond? Strange, but okay. ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 21:42, 30 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Wait do the other three sources show a picture of the pond or something else I missed? If yes, then remove the YT source. --K. Peake 22:12, 30 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Yeah, the NY Mag one (I believe is now ref 58?... I think) has a picture of him falling into the pond (just above pp. 14)! No worries!  Gia co bbe  talk 00:22, 31 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "of the 1975, are" → "of the 1975 are" ✅
 * "shown, and the remaining" → "shown and the remaining" ✅
 * The hate symbol part is sourced, but the Anti-Defamation League being the ones who labelled it as such is not
 * It is: "Originally a mascot for McDonald’s in the 1980s, Moon Man has been labelled as a hate symbol by international Jewish non-governmental organisation the Anti-Defamation League."  Gia co bbe  talk 21:43, 30 January 2021 (UTC)


 * [57][56][58] put in numerical order ✅

Critical reception

 * "of the Alternative Press called it" → "of Alternative Press called the music video" ✅
 * "of internet subcultures"." → "of internet subcultures."" ✅
 * "DIY said the visuals were surreal" → "DIY said the visual is surreal" ✅
 * "included "The Birthday Party" in" → "included the video on" ✅
 * "called it" → "called the music video" ✅
 * "served as a commentary" → "serves as a commentary" ✅
 * "was a commentary" → "is a commentary" ✅

Credits and personnel

 * Good

Charts

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION ✅

Final comments and verdict

 * until all of the issues are fixed; not sure if you will be able to get everything done today since this review has been completed in the evening, but at least it will probably become a GA by tomorrow which is not far at all! --K. Peake 18:51, 30 January 2021 (UTC)
 * I believe I've addressed all of your comments. Is there anything that I've missed?  Gia co bbe  talk 00:33, 31 January 2021 (UTC)
 * I responded to your point in reception, but everything else was already done. ✅! --K. Peake 06:28, 31 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Awesome! Great way to start the day! Thank you for another amazing review. Cheers! :)  Gia co bbe  talk 13:11, 31 January 2021 (UTC)