Talk:The Box (Fringe)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Hurricanehink 20:39, 21 September 2011 (UTC)


 * "Her first case on the team is at a house at Milton, Massachusetts; though it appears to have been a robbery, with the family tied up and two thieves having dug a hole in the basement, all the people are dead having been put into some vegetative state." - that sentence is rather long. Could you split it up? Also, the "all the people are dead having been..." seems kinda clunky and dragging.
 * Fixed  R uby   comment!  21:05, 24 September 2011 (UTC)


 * "Walter comes to determine" - redundant - why not just "Walter determines"?
 * Done  R uby   comment!  21:05, 24 September 2011 (UTC)


 * For someone who doesn't know the series, they may be confused at the importance of the place known as Massive Dynamics. The rest of the plot summary does a decent job at explaining people in an out-of-series point of view, with the exception of MD.
 * Hopefully clarified a little bit better  R uby   comment!  21:05, 24 September 2011 (UTC)


 * You should mention in the plot who plays each character. I believe that is the standard for TV shows. That would at least provide some context when you mention Eric the Midget.
 * Done  R uby   comment!  21:05, 24 September 2011 (UTC)


 * In production, what was the stunt that Anna Torv didn't want to do?
 * I'm not sure about this one. Haven't watched the episode in a while. When I rewatch it, I'll be sure to add it in (don't yet have the S3 DVD).  R uby   comment!  21:05, 24 September 2011 (UTC)


 * The "It's really neat!" part of the quote feels kinda out of place, like someone serving hot dogs at a fancy restaurant.
 * I considered taking it out, but then the quote just seems lackluster and a little boring.  R uby   comment!  21:05, 24 September 2011 (UTC)

All in all, a good read and a fun recap of an episode I hadn't seen in almost a year. C'mon season 4!!! Oh... yea, just the above things, then I'll be happy to pass. Lemme know when you're done. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 20:39, 21 September 2011 (UTC)
 * I'll address these sometime tomorrow (no time currently). Thanks very much for the review!  R uby   comment!  04:47, 22 September 2011 (UTC)
 * I think I've addressed all of your comments. Thanks again for the review! So excited for S4! (haven't yet watched the premiere).  R uby   comment!  21:05, 24 September 2011 (UTC)