Talk:The Children of Húrin/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Vanamonde93 (talk · contribs) 23:15, 27 August 2023 (UTC)

I'll be happy to review this one: perhaps embarrassingly I haven't read the book, but that's not the worst thing in a reviewer. Vanamonde (Talk) 23:15, 27 August 2023 (UTC) Also, good to see you, Chiswick Chap, been a while, hope you're well. Vanamonde (Talk) 02:33, 28 August 2023 (UTC)


 * , thank you, and good to interact with you again. I've addressed all your points below. Chiswick Chap (talk) 11:55, 28 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Thanks: I've looked it over and nothing else sticks out to me, so passing. Interesting read. Vanamonde (Talk) 16:31, 28 August 2023 (UTC)

Spotchecks:

 * FN2 is okay on substance, but I think you need to make it clear it's referring to Tolkien's writing as it appeared in the Silmarillion; the source predates the publication of the Children of Hurin. Also: I think the page range is incorrect? I can only access fragments, but 155-156 make no mention of the Valkyrie, Siegmund and Sieglinde, or Nienor.
 * Glossed; added the other source I'd also used.
 * T4: I don't think you should be using a primary source for analytical claims about influences; at best the content needs to be rephrased to a bare retelling of what's in the source material.
 * Edited.
 * FN7 checks out.
 * Noted.
 * FN8 checks out, though the author is referring to a specific chapter...suggest working that in.
 * Done.
 * FN11 checks out.
 * Noted.
 * FN16 checks out.
 * Noted.
 * Link seems to be broken for FN19; could you find an archived version?
 * Added.

Prose matters:

 * Both themes and reception feel a little thin to me, themes especially so. We don't need a dozen paragraphs; this isn't FAC; but we could manage more detail, surely?
 * See "Sources" above on themes. Reception has a dozen sources already, and it discusses a wide range of opinions.


 * I confess I don't love the parentheticals in the reception section: to me it makes the prose choppy, and as a reader I'm more interested in the why than in whether the review was positive or negative. I cannot fault the construction based on any objective reading of the criteria, so I'm not going to do more than note this here.
 * Edited them out.


 * The lead, also, feels a little thin. I would include a little bit about the influences and themes, and perhaps detail from reception. Two paragraphs is what I would suggest for an article this length; perhaps a doubling of what's there?
 * Done.


 * The origin of orcs in-universe is murky, as I recall, and not contemporaneous with other races (which indeed also emerge at different times)...
 * True, but since we haven't said when any of them emerged here, it's for other articles to discuss.


 * Gloss Beleg and Saeros at first appearance (you could also omit Saeros altogether; see note about length above).
 * Glossed. Saeros is in a way key as he's the start of the killing-spree that characterizes T's life... and death.


 * Brandir could likewise be omitted, I think.
 * Not really, he occurs repeatedly, close to the core of the story.


 * "having monkeyed with his father's text" strikes me as a little colloquial.
 * Replaced.

Miscellaneous notes:

 * I'm under the impression that the "preceded" and "followed" fields in the infobox are for series; you could use the appropriate middle earth volumes, but given the history I would omit altogether; I don't see how Sigurd and Gudrun is in any way a successor of this work.
 * Removed.


 * At 927 words, the plot summary is pushing the length limit. Could you tighten? 700 is what I typically aim for, but you could lose a 100 words or so quite easily I think.
 * Trimmed.


 * That's all I have for the moment, I'll take a second pass once you've dealt with my comments: ping me when you're done, if you would. Vanamonde (Talk) 02:33, 28 August 2023 (UTC)