Talk:The EndUp/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Vami IV (talk · contribs) 20:24, 16 August 2018 (UTC)

Opening statement
I am not a member of the LGBT community or familiar with the San Francisco area. I am reviewing this article because it's been in the GAR backlog for the better part of a year (nominated last November, as of time of writing).

For replying to Reviewer comment, please use ✅,, , ❌, , or , followed by any comment you'd like to make. I will be crossing out my comments as they are redressed, and only mine. A detailed, section-by-section review will follow after this section and my first comment (Referencing). – Vami _IV†  20:24, 16 August 2018 (UTC)

Referencing
Any outstanding problems I've had with the referencing of this article, I have already taken care of (redundant instances of citation [3].) The two uses of full-form syntax for a single book bothers me, but it happens literally only twice, so I will make no further mention of it.

History
This section feels incomplete, to put it bluntly. I feel I've been given a TL;DR version rather than a full, comprehensive history (examples: "Helmut Hanken era" and "Carl Hanken era" don't really explain what troubles they were facing). I am to understand that this is because of a dirth of reliable references, which I completely understand. The section feels mostly complete, and does have specificity in some places, such as Mr. Whitmore's attempted murder of Carl Franken. There is also no transitional prose between sections, except the end of "Helmut Hanken era."
 * I see what you mean. I think that in this case, not every ownership era encountered troubles, so I didn't want to make the headings too much about particular issues, since the most noteworthy items from each era differed from each other somewhat. In the frenetic world of nightclubs, the only relationship of substance between the clientele, the music and the atmosphere is that of the owner, in particular, the owner's style of management, which sets the tone for everything else. This tone changes from owner to owner, but the impact that each owner has is a consistent impact which largely determines the success or decline of a club. And the change in ownership through death or through sale helps to provide for a natural transition between the era's. As far as a comprehensive history, that has yet to be written, although Marke B's account comes close, I've already used a lot from it and wanted to stop short of using too much.  spintendo   21:54, 16 August 2018 (UTC)
 * I see what you mean. I think that in this case, not every ownership era encountered troubles, so I didn't want to make the headings too much about particular issues, since the most noteworthy items from each era differed from each other somewhat. In the frenetic world of nightclubs, the only relationship of substance between the clientele, the music and the atmosphere is that of the owner, in particular, the owner's style of management, which sets the tone for everything else. This tone changes from owner to owner, but the impact that each owner has is a consistent impact which largely determines the success or decline of a club. And the change in ownership through death or through sale helps to provide for a natural transition between the era's. As far as a comprehensive history, that has yet to be written, although Marke B's account comes close, I've already used a lot from it and wanted to stop short of using too much.  spintendo   21:54, 16 August 2018 (UTC)

Carl Hanken era

 * With a new executor in control, Helmut Hanken's estate immediately sold the club to Carl Hanken. Uncited.
 *  spintendo   21:10, 16 August 2018 (UTC)
 *  spintendo   21:10, 16 August 2018 (UTC)