Talk:The Glow Pt. 2/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 17:05, 9 October 2020 (UTC)

I will review this article soon --K. Peake 17:05, 9 October 2020 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Cover art needs alt text
 * Target Washington to Washington (state)
 * The labels should be separated in the infobox by using bullet points instead
 * "third studio album produced by American" → "third studio album by American"
 * "primary member Phil Elverum" remove this part from the sentence and it can be written somewhere else in the para that he produced it
 * "released on September" → "It was released on September" as a new sentence and mention P.W. Elverum & Sun, Ltd. too
 * "It was recorded on analog equipment" → "Recording was done on analog equipment"
 * "from 2000 to 2001." → "from May 2000 to March 2001."
 * "The album is influenced by numerous music genres such as" → "The album takes influence from numerous music genres, such as"
 * "and Elverum's relationship" → "and primary member Phil Elverum's relationship" with the appropriate wikilink
 * Target Khaela Maricich to The Blow
 * Next sentence should be something like "Production was solely handled by Elverum in its entirety." since it is the correct placement for this after influence
 * "from Elverum's previous studio release It Was Hot, We Stayed in the Water," → "from the band's previous studio album, It Was Hot, We Stayed in the Water (2000),"
 * "and musical techniques and" → "alongside musical techniques and"
 * "frequently reference nature" → "often reference nature" to avoid repetitive wording
 * "To promote the album, Elverum" → "For promotion, Elverum"
 * Target Calvin Johnson to Calvin Johnson (musician)
 * "Maricich before going on a solo tour." → "Maricich, before going on a solo tour of North America."
 * "following its release, it has been" → "following its release, the album has been"
 * "multiple times, with the first in 2007 including" → "multiples times; the first reissue was released in 2007 with"
 * "it has appeared" → "it has since appeared"
 * "with many considering it to be" → "being considered by many music critics to be" with the appropriate target

Background and composition

 * Retitle to Background and recording
 * Imgs need alt text
 * "The album was recorded" → "The Glow Pt. 2 was recorded"
 * "which was attributed" → "with the studio being attributed"
 * "Elverum incorporated into" → "the Microphones primary member Phil Elverum incorporated into" with the wikilink
 * "by recording the album on" → "by recording it on a"
 * "alongside the recording process, at times accompanied" → "alongside recording them, being at times accompanied"
 * "and predict that" → "and predict that,"
 * "be something special"." → "be something special.""
 * "The album was recorded" → "The Glow Pt. 2 was recorded"
 * "the mics (particularly Sennheiser mkh 405) and" → "the microphones, particularly Sennheiser mkh 405, and" per MOS:ACROFIRSTUSE, with the wikilink
 * "The drums were recording" → "The drums were recorded"
 * Remove target on multi-tracking
 * Wikilink Chamberlin
 * "drum machine on the album. The drum machine was credited" → "drum machine on The Glow Pt. 2, with the machine being credited" with the wikilink
 * "ambient and avant-garde" → "ambient, and avant-garde"
 * "The record's tone and atmosphere was also influenced" → "The album's tone and atmosphere were also influenced by"
 * "such as "I Want Wind to Blow"." should end the sentence, since you can use this section to introduce that the relationship is mentioned on the album and then properly go into the lyrical content of the song in the following section; also, any other songs mention the relationship?
 * "The cover of" → "The cover art for"
 * "originates from an" → "originated from an"
 * This sentence should be part of the above paragraph
 * "which was printed in" → "which was printed from"

Music and lyrics

 * "Pictured in 2006: Canadian indie rock band Eric's Trip influenced Elverum's use of recurring imagery and themes." → "Canadian indie rock band Eric's Trip influenced Elverum's use of recurring imagery and themes on the album." on the img main text, with the wikilinks
 * Img needs alt text
 * "marks a shift in Elverum's writing" → "marked a shift in Elverum's writing"
 * Target pop to Pop music
 * "of It Was Hot, We Stayed in the Water," → "of the Microphones' previous studio album ''It Was Hot, We Stayed in the Water (2000),"
 * "They are performed" → "The lyrics are performed"
 * Target stream-of-consciousness to Stream of consciousness
 * "as well as exhibiting a sense" → "while exhibiting a sense"
 * "are equally diverse ranging from" → "are equally diverse, ranging from"
 * Target acoustic to Acoustic music
 * Target folk to Folk music
 * Remove target on multitracked
 * "the latter of which is utilised in songs" → "with the latter of the three being utilised on songs"
 * "I’ll Not Contain You" → "I'll Not Contain You"
 * "Sudden and abrupt" → "Sudden piano stabs, and abrupt"
 * "throughout the record." → "throughout The Glow Pt. 2."
 * Merge second para with this one
 * "production techniques such as" → "production techniques, such as"
 * "and arranging them" → "and arranging the tracks"
 * Target Call-and-response to Call and response (music)
 * [14][8] should be put in numerical order
 * Remove target on representation
 * "of "the Glow", first introduced" → "of "the Glow"; this was first introduced"
 * "In The Glow Pt. 2 Elverum says it" → "Of the presence of "the Glow" on The Glow Pt. 2, Elverum said it"
 * "are central to" → "are also central to"
 * Lay the audio sample out with the title like they are commonly done on Wiki; use "Can't Tell Me Nothing" as a guideline
 * "The chorus to "I Want Wind to Blow" features four vocal tracks." → "A 17-second sample of the chorus to "I Want Wind to Blow", featuring four vocal tracks." with the target
 * "and the other three used" → "and the other three are used"
 * Remove "as seen above"
 * "of G while the main melody" → "of G major, though the main melody"
 * "All the instrumentation was performed by Elverum:" → "The instrumentation for the song was performed by Elverum;"
 * [11] should be solely at the end of the sentence
 * "and the studio which would" → "in the studio, which would" since this is what [11] actually is telling the readers
 * "and using two microphones to create" → "while two stereos were used to create"
 * Remove wikilink on stereophonic sound
 * Source does not mention about headphones or poking heads in
 * "The phrase, repeated throughout the song "I Want Wind to Blow" was explained" → "The title "I Want Wind to Blow" was explained"
 * "I’m tired" → "I'm tired"
 * Target Khaela Maricich to The Blow
 * "Pictured: Foghorns, which the" → "Foghorns (pictured), which the" on the img main text
 * Target motif to Motif (music)
 * Img needs alt text
 * "explains that the title track" → "explained that the title track "The Glow Pt. 2""
 * "for still beating"." → "for still beating.""
 * "the lyrics "my blood flows harshly" which" → "the line "my blood flows harshly," which"
 * "The song is accompanied by an" → "The song includes an"
 * "in the song" → "on the song"
 * "The third track "The Moon" features" → "The album's third track, "The Moon", features"
 * Target chords to Chord (music)
 * "and lyrics whispered by Elverum, who found" → "alongside Elverum whispering lyrics, with him having found"
 * "The first song entitled "Instrumental" is accompanied with finger-snaps." → "The track "Instrumental" features finger-snaps." with the target
 * "throughout the album." → "throughout The Glow Pt. 2;"
 * "consisting of a foghorn that leads into" → "that consists of a foghorn, which leads into"
 * "as it starts with" → "in the same manner it starts, with"
 * "Elverum stated that" → "Elverum stated that:"
 * "It opens with" → "The song opens with"
 * "The song then transitions to" → "It then transitions to"
 * "synths, pianos and" → "synths, pianos, and" with the target
 * "drums before concluding" → "drums, before concluding"
 * Remove target on ambient
 * "composition which resembles" → "composition, which resembles"
 * "The song is connected" → "It is connected"
 * "from the fourth Microphones album, Mount Eerie." → "on the Microphones' fourth studio album Mount Eerie (2003)."

Release and promotion

 * Target Calvin Johnson to Calvin Johnson (musician) and remove the comma on img main text
 * Img needs alt text
 * Mention the initial release date here in the opening sentence
 * "playing in venues like a" → "playing in venues that included a"
 * Remove target on studio
 * "The tour featured" → "The Paper Opera Tour featured"
 * "Elverum performed the title track" → "he performed "The Glow Pt. 2""
 * Target What The Heck Fest to Anacortes, Washington
 * "The album has been" → "The Glow Pt. 2 has been"
 * "First in 2007 by K Records" → "The first reissue was released in 2007 by K Records,"
 * "This collection was" → "The collection was"
 * Italicise the title
 * "was then reissued" → "was later reissued"
 * "being out of out of print on" → "being out of print on"
 * Vinyl should not start with capitalisation
 * "The album was again" → "It was again"
 * "on July 9 without" → "on July 9, without"
 * Merge the following sentence with this one
 * Last sentence of this section should be the ending one of the second para
 * "properly bookkeep it is" → "properly bookkeep, it is"

Critical reception

 * Remove (2001) next to Pitchfork since that year is mentioned in a heading of the box
 * "Contemporary reviews of The Glow Pt. 2 upon release were generally positive." → "The Glow Pt. 2 was met with generally positive reviews from contemporary music critics." with the target
 * "described The Microphones' approach" → "described the Microphones' approach" per MOS:THEMUSIC
 * "idiosyncratic" and" → "idiosyncratic", while calling the approach"
 * "asserted that The Microphones" → "asserted that the Microphones"
 * "and that the album" → "and admitted the album"
 * "He also described the album" → "He continued, describing the album"
 * Remove target on its predecessor
 * "Pitchfork would later rank it as their album of the year." → "Pitchfork later ranked it as the best album of 2001."
 * "Accordintg to Christopher Roberts of Under the Radar it" → "According to Christopher Roberts of Under the Radar, The Glow Pt. 2"
 * Wikilink indie rock

Legacy

 * Img needs alt text
 * "have expressed more general critical acclaim for the album." → "have expressed stronger critical acclaim."
 * "as one of his most" → "as one of Elverum's most"
 * Target best work to Masterpiece
 * "Although its status as" → "However, the album's status as"
 * "According to First Order Historians the release" → "According to First Order Historians, the release"
 * "described it as" → "described the album as"
 * "Grayson Haver Currin viewed the album, as" → "Grayson Haver Currin from Bandcamp viewed The Glow Pt. 2 as" with the wikilink
 * "Aquarium Drunkard and" → "Aquarium Drunkard, and"
 * PopMatters should be italicised
 * "also saw it as" → "also saw the album as"
 * "under the Microphones name with Britt writing that" → "as part of the Microphones, with Britt writing that:"
 * "with The Glow Pt. 2." and Drunkard calling it" → "with The Glow Pt. 2." On a similar note, Aquarium Drunkard called it"
 * Target sampled to Sampling (music)
 * "sampled (Instrumental) in a" → "sampled "Instrumental" in a"
 * "with Three Six Mafia’s “Late Nite Tip”." → "with Three Six Mafia's "Late Nite Tip"." and add release year of the song in brackets
 * Target on "The Glow" should be on the title but not the speech marks and add the release year in brackets
 * "around The Glow Pt. 2 which was" → "around The Glow Pt. 2, which was"
 * 'Singing Saw should be italicised and put the release year in brackets
 * "by The Glow Pt. 2 in particular the title track." → "by The Glow Pt. 2, taking inspiration from the title track in particular."
 * "American singer-songwriter" → "Fellow singer-songwriter"
 * "cited as one" → "cited it as one"
 * "supposed to be".[51] He called it" → "supposed to be",[51] with him calling it"
 * Remove wikilink on Exclaim!
 * "in the least."" → "in the least"."
 * "wrote that" → "wrote that,"
 * Pitchfork should be italicised
 * "from 1996-2011 calling the album" → "from 1996-2011, calling it"
 * "hailed the record as" → "hailed the album as"
 * Remove wikilink on The Guardian
 * "Dan Hancox described the album" → "Hancox described the album"
 * Img needs alt text
 * "called the album "ingenious" and the band's" → "called The Glow Pt. 2 "ingenious" and the Microphones'"
 * "on the album stated" → "on it stated"
 * "since its release it has been" → "since release, The Glow Pt. 2 has been"
 * "list of the best albums from 2000–2004, of the 2000s," → "lists of the best albums from 2000–2004 and of the 2000s decade,"
 * Remove wikilink on Pacific Northwest
 * "Pitchfork readers also ranked" → "The magazine readers also ranked"
 * Cokemachineglow should not be italicised
 * Remove wikilink on Stereogum
 * "all included it" → "all included The Glow Pt. 2"
 * "of the best 2000s albums." → "of the best albums of the 2000s decade."
 * "best indie rock albums of 2000s" → "best indie rock albums of the 2000s"
 * "The Guardian ranked it as" → "The Guardian ranked the album as"
 * Add what year this ranking was
 * Album of the Year should not be italicised
 * "it is the highest rated" → "The Glow Pt. 2 is the highest rated"
 * Acclaimed Music should not be italicised
 * Italicise Singing Saw and add release year in brackets, on img main text
 * "was inspired by" → "took inspiration from"
 * Img needs alt text
 * "chose the first "Instrumental" (track 6) as" → "chose "Instrumental", the sixth track, as"
 * "Complex writers included it" → "Complex staff included it" with the target per MOS:LINK2SECT
 * "as one of Elverum's" → "as two of Elverum's"
 * "in his ranking of Elverum's" → "as one of Elverum's"
 * Remove target on Billboard
 * “I Want Wind to Blow”/”The Glow Pt. 2” → "I Want Wind to Blow”/”The Glow Pt. 2"
 * Remove wikilink on Exclaim
 * "included the album" → "included The Glow Pt. 2"
 * "albums as did" → "albums, as did"
 * "the album received from" → "it gathered from"
 * "“good” or “bad” or “essential”" → "'good' or 'bad' or 'essential'" per MOS:QWQ
 * "under the Microphone's name" → "as part of the Microphones'"
 * Remove speech marks from the album's title and mentioned it being "released in 2020" within this sentence

Track listing

 * Add a source for the writing credits

Other Songs & Destroyed Versions

 * Cover art needs alt text
 * Unsourced genre in the infobox
 * "contains twenty additional tracks" → "contains 20 additional tracks" per [[MOS:NUM
 * "the recording of The Glow Pt. 2." → "the recording of the album."
 * "The "destroyed version" refers" → "The term "destroyed version" refers"
 * "which appeared on" → "that appeared on"
 * [1][24][4] should be put in numerical order

Music and lyrics

 * Remove target on multitracked
 * "from Dub music as well as featuring" → "from dub music, and features"
 * Merge the second para with the first
 * "such as those on" → "including those on"

Critical reception

 * "Brock Thiessen of Exclaim! described" → "Thiessen described"
 * "the new tracks" → "the new tracks on the album"
 * "Eric Grandy of The Stranger wrote that" → "Grandy wrote that"
 * ""Where Lies My Tarp?" stating that" → ""Where Lies My Tarp?", stating that"
 * "of love deferred."" → "of love deferred"."
 * "can’t imagine anyone" → "can't imagine anyone"
 * "“Where Lies My Tarp?" and “I Hope You Wish You’d Die”." → ""Where Lies My Tarp?" and "I Hope You Wish You'd Die"."

Track listing

 * Add a source for the writing credits

Personnel

 * Credits are adapted from the album's liner notes and AllMusic. → Credits are adapted from the liner notes of The Glow Pt. 2 and AllMusic. to avoid confusion with the compilation album
 * vocials → vocals
 * Target Khaela Maricich to The Blow
 * Target mastering to Mastering (audio)

Release history

 * Release formats for The Glow Pt. 2 → Release dates and formats for The Glow Pt. 2
 * Format → Format(s)
 * Add a col for refs
 * Lay this table out properly; see "Love Lockdown" for example
 * United States should not be wikilinked
 * Separate formats using hlist
 * For all the formats, the first letter should be capitalised
 * Target Double LP to Phonograph record
 * Target digital download to Music download

Final comments and verdict

 * though after looking through the critical reception, maybe I should check this album out to see if it is worth the hype? --K. Peake 15:31, 10 October 2020 (UTC)
 * All issues have been addressed. DMT biscuit (talk) 01:13, 16 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Some of the issues with references have yet to be fixed --K. Peake 06:49, 16 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Can you specify which ones please? DMT biscuit (talk) 09:14, 16 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Using the order for the refs that they were in at the time of my review; fixes for refs 9, 17 and 23 are still needed to be implemented. Also, why was Complex removed? --K. Peake 09:53, 16 October 2020 (UTC)
 * I removed the Complex section as it felt it was a trival mention, not worthy of placement in a general overview. The other issues have been resolved. DMT biscuit (talk) 10:10, 16 October 2020 (UTC)
 * That is reasonable, this article is good to go now. ✅ time, one question though would be did I come across as too wordy during the review or were my suggestions fine and fair? --K. Peake 10:12, 16 October 2020 (UTC)
 * The suggestions were fine but perhaps a little too in-depth for GA. At times it felt like a FA review, but that's not necessarily a bad thing :)