Talk:The Holocaust in the Sudetenland/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Chiswick Chap (talk · contribs) 16:20, 1 January 2020 (UTC)

A welcome article on a grim subject. Chiswick Chap (talk) 16:20, 1 January 2020 (UTC)

Comments

 * In lead, suggest new paragraph at "After the war...".


 * Suggest that Teplice is named as such, not just as "Teplitz-Schönau"; the Nazis of course used the latter name. I think it will make sense to give BOTH forms of each such placename (see next).
 * current names for all placenames
 * Similarly Carlsbad = Karlovy Vary; Reichenberg = Liberec, Aussig = Ústí nad Labem, Saaz = Žatec.


 * Similarly we need to introduce "Reichsgau Sudetenland" as a Nazi terminology, both in the lead and in the article body: we must not appear to be endorsing this usage. We could say "what the Nazi regime called...".
 * What is the point of the second map? It doesn't seem to show anything we need that the first map doesn't; and it's illegible, too. Suggest we remove it.
 * Not all the areas annexed by Germany from Czechoslovakia were incorporated into Reichsgau Sudetenland, as the second map makes clear. This article focuses on the Reichsgau and not other Sudeten territories. See the last sentence in "Annexation" section.
 * Hmm, well it's a bit obscure at the moment. I suggest you say something to that effect briefly in the map caption. The map is also terribly illegible (low contrast, miniscule print) for its purpose; all that's actually needed is two simple outlines showing the RG part and the non-RG part of the Sudetenland with a couple of bold labels.
 * Hmm, well it's a bit obscure at the moment. I suggest you say something to that effect briefly in the map caption. The map is also terribly illegible (low contrast, miniscule print) for its purpose; all that's actually needed is two simple outlines showing the RG part and the non-RG part of the Sudetenland with a couple of bold labels.


 * "commutities" -> communities


 * Is "Petschek family" a worthwhile redlink?
 * Yes, it's a notable topic without its own article.
 * Is "Reich Ministry of the Economy" a worthwhile redlink? Its German equivalent may already exist - please search German Wiki for "Reichsministerium" and look through the list of ministries.
 * ✅, added ill
 * Please gloss "Einsatzgruppen" with "death squads" or similar.
 * ❌ I considered this, but ultimately I think it would be confusing. The Einsatzgruppen did not go around shooting people in Sudetenland like they did in Eastern Europe. Readers can click the link for more context.
 * Anschluss should be in italics throughout (or not at all if you believe it's now English).


 * You introduce "Security Service (SD)" like this, but "SS (Schutzstaffel)" and "SA (Sturmabteilung)" like that. Please choose a style and use it consistently. I think the use of a translation as well as the full German is advisable, so perhaps the best style would be something like "SD (Sicherheitsdienst, "Security Service")".
 * I've used the acronym (German term) style consistently. Giving a gloss clutters the text and doesn't necessarily explain well what each agency did. Readers can click the link for more information.


 * I think we need English glosses for all the German terms (i.e. including Geltungsjuden, Jägerstab, Sudetendeutsches Freikorps and so on).
 * I added a note for Geltungsjuden, and a gloss for the other terms.
 * "Other regions were annexed to existing Nazi German administrative regions" - suggest the first "regions" is changed to "areas" or similar to avoid confusion.


 * What does "The Carpathian Jews, who represented 40% of the postwar Jewish population in Bohemia, were numerically dominant in the former Sudetenland." mean? In particular, what does "were" refer to? They were dominant after the war until 1960 or something?
 * That's the verb tense used in the source. One assumes that the descendants of migrants from Carpathian Ruthenia still live there, but they probably have Czech citizenship and don't think of themselves as Ruthenians.
 * Please gloss "Carpathian Ruthenia" with "(the region of Ukraine bordering Czechoslovakia)" or similar.
 * Added explanation.
 * I think "Jew houses" (redlinked) is too obscure; if the term is to be kept then it must be glossed with "Judenhaus" (or the plural form).
 * Please wikilink "pogrom".
 * "Aryanization" should be a "main" or "further" link at the top of that section.
 * The caption "Sudeten Germans are deported from Czechoslovakia" is insufficient (and I see it's not properly described on Commons either). I assume you mean "during May to August 1945", in which case, please say so; and perhaps "in retaliation for German occupation" would be helpful.
 * "Aryanization" should be a "main" or "further" link at the top of that section.
 * The caption "Sudeten Germans are deported from Czechoslovakia" is insufficient (and I see it's not properly described on Commons either). I assume you mean "during May to August 1945", in which case, please say so; and perhaps "in retaliation for German occupation" would be helpful.
 * The caption "Sudeten Germans are deported from Czechoslovakia" is insufficient (and I see it's not properly described on Commons either). I assume you mean "during May to August 1945", in which case, please say so; and perhaps "in retaliation for German occupation" would be helpful.


 * What is the "Old Reich"? Better explain or wikilink.


 * The use of "located in" seems redundant: why not just say "in"? It's shorter and clearer. At least, don't use "located" repeatedly, it adds nothing. Try reading the sentence just using "in" and you'll see it works fine.
 * most of them.
 * The two categories "1938 establishments in Germany" and "1945 disestablishments in Germany" both appear clearly misplaced here as the holocaust was in no sense an establishment.
 * I know, Dimadick added them and added them back after I removed them. I've taken them out again.