Talk:The Life and Death of 9413: a Hollywood Extra/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: MPJ-DK (talk · contribs) 04:27, 4 March 2016 (UTC)

I am about to start the review, full disclosure I am aWiki Cup and a GA Cup participant. If anyone would like to reciprocate I have my own GAN (Mexican National Trios Championship) needing a review and a Feature Article (CMLL World Heavyweight Championship) and Feature List (Mexican National Light Heavyweight Championship) candidates in need of input. Not that it's a factor in my GA review. I usually provide my feedback in portions over a day or so, so don't be surprised if I keep popping in with stuff for a while.  MPJ  -US 04:27, 4 March 2016 (UTC)

GA Toolbox
The GA tools provided usually provide a good place to start, so let's hit all those first.


 * Peer Review
 * Per Manual of Style (numbers), there should be a non-breaking space - between a number and the unit of measurement. For example, instead of 35 mm, use 35 mm, which when you are editing the page, should look like: 35 mm.
 * It is indicating that there may be weasel words in the article, as I review the article I will take a closer look at these.


 * Copyright violations tool
 * Reports as "Unlikely" ✅

✅ no problems
 * Disambiguation Links

✅ no problems
 * External links

We're off to a promising start.

Images
Appears to all have the appropriate licenses and are all free due to age and copyright rules. ✅

General Review

 * "Finally he dies" - comma after "finally" I believe
 * Done.
 * Is camerawork one word?
 * I believe it is, actually.
 * "at failing to achieve theirs dreams" = "their dreams"
 * Oops. LOL Fixed.
 * "shot in 35 mm film" - not sure if this is a common way to phrase it but I would have thought it would be "on 35 mm film"?
 * I think you're right. Changed.
 * "45 sets were build in" - use the word "built"
 * Oops again. LOL Changed.
 * "into squares, while Vorkapić" - does not need the comma
 * I've removed the comma.
 * "dehuminazation" should be "dehumanization"
 * Fixed it.
 * "Specators" should be "Spectators"
 * Changed it.
 * "the expressionistic manner" = "an expressionistic manner"?
 * Although your version is grammatically correct, the actual quote uses 'the expressionistic manner' so I think we have to stick with that.
 * If the quote uses it then it's not a problem.  MPJ  -US 11:50, 8 March 2016 (UTC)
 * "eight musicians, and was" does not need the comma
 * Removed it.
 * That's all I got, which is the least amount of issues I've found during a GA review so far. Great job it's 99% there already. I am going to put this on hold for 7 days so you have time to fix it.  MPJ  -US 11:03, 5 March 2016 (UTC)
 * Thanks very much for the review! —  Hun ter   Ka  hn  03:02, 8 March 2016 (UTC)
 * Looks like everything I pointed out has been improved upon, I will do one more read through to ensure nothing else needs to be addressed. Great work so far.  MPJ  -US 11:50, 8 March 2016 (UTC)

- After another read through I am satisfied that this meets the GA criteria. passed really good work, congratuations.  MPJ  -US 12:19, 8 March 2016 (UTC)