Talk:The Man with Two Brians/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer:  R uby2010   comment!  03:41, 22 April 2011 (UTC)

I will review within the hour or so.  R uby2010  comment!  03:41, 22 April 2011 (UTC)


 * GA review (see here for criteria)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:

Comments

 * In one stunt, Peter attempts to jump a lake but instead crashes into a tree, causing him to fall into the lake and rendering him incapacitated. Should change bolded part to "become incapacitated" or something similar (basically removes the second "him")
 * There are a few issues with sentences not indicating who is speaking (i.e. he instead of, say, Peter):
 * He begins to grow upset about their dog's age, so he obtains another dog and names him New Brian Change first he to "Peter"
 * He pleads for Brian to return, but he informs him that as long as New Brian is there, he has no place in the Griffin household. Change bolded to Stewie


 * In the animatic version of when Brian swam to rescue Peter when he was drowning, music from Rambo II was used What is "animatic"? And there are too many "whens" (try removing one of them in a rewritten sentence)
 * Indicate who Alec Sulkin is (like you did with Seth MacFarlane)
 * He then looks at the ocean on a pier as the song "No One is to Blame" by Howard Jones plays. Change bolded to "as Howard Jones' song "No One is to Blame" plays" (or something similar)
 * A few minor ref fixes needed (Film.com, The A.V. Club, and The Futon Critic should not be italicized, as they are websites)

Please respond back on this page when the necessary changes have been made. In the meantime, I'll place the review on hold for seven days. Thanks and let me know if you have any questions,  R uby2010   comment!  03:59, 22 April 2011 (UTC)
 * Looks good. I made a few other minor tweaks myself. Pass for GA.  R uby2010   comment!  17:38, 22 April 2011 (UTC)