Talk:The Quarrymen/GA1

GA Review
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Beacuse it shows how important Julia Lennon was to Lennon. She has been portrayed as not caring about Lennon, and it corrects a common untruth.--andreasegde (talk) 18:47, 3 July 2008 (UTC) OK; "his mother".--andreasegde (talk) 18:47, 3 July 2008 (UTC) Can't do that, because it's English Grammar. You can not write, "I don't have the same car you", because one should say, "I do not have the same car as you have". Sorry.--andreasegde (talk) 18:58, 3 July 2008 (UTC) You got me there, because I repeated Shottons's name, and you said it was repetition (quite right) but can I repeat Griffiths' name, or say, "the latter", which seems a bit convoluted? I will do something.--andreasegde (talk) 19:00, 3 July 2008 (UTC) Changed to,"During this time Lennon heard".--andreasegde (talk) 19:18, 3 July 2008 (UTC) Yes, and rightly so; it has been corrected.--andreasegde (talk) 19:18, 3 July 2008 (UTC) Totally spot-on. It will be changed to, "McCartney made his debut",--andreasegde (talk) 19:22, 3 July 2008 (UTC) I'm not sure about this, because I always thought that if it was a date with a year, it should be linked, but not dates alone. If I'm wrong, I will change it at once.--andreasegde (talk) 19:37, 3 July 2008 (UTC)
 * "Lennon's mother, Julia Lennon, taught Lennon and Eric Griffiths how to tune their guitars the same way as a banjo, taught them simple chords, and songs." - it's not clear at this point what relevance this has to the rest of the lead/article.
 * "Shotton, even though Shotton could not play any instrument.[6][8][9] Shotton elected to play the washboard, as it was the easiest instrument to learn, so Shotton's mother" - eek, repetition. Try and ease up on it a bit.
 * "and travelled to work on the same bus as Griffiths used to get to school." - could remove the "as" for some smoother prose.
 * "Rehearsals were moved from the cold air-raid shelter to Hanton's or Griffiths' house—as his father had died in WWII, and his mother worked all day" - who's? Hanton's or Griffiths' mother/father?
 * "During this time that Lennon heard" --> "It was during this time that Lennon heard..."?
 * "The Quarrymen at played at" - rmv the first at?
 * "McCartney returned from holiday and started rehearsing with The Quarrymen, playing songs like, "Bye Bye Love" (The Everly Brothers) and "All Shook Up", which Lennon and the band had been trying to learn, without success.[43] After returning from his summer holidays, McCartney made his debut at a Conservative Club social: The New Clubmoor Hall, Back Broadway, Norris Green, Liverpool, on Friday, 18 October 1957" - the first sentence also refers to him returning from summer holidays, right? If so it's a bit confusing in that that info is repeated.
 * "On Thursday, 7 November, Charlie McBain booked" - wlink date
 * "and at The Cavern on 24 January."
 * "band perform on 6 February"
 * "on 1 January, at a Speke Bus Depot"
 * "and on 24 January, at a party at Woolton Village Club"
 * "the weekend of Saturday 5th July and Sunday 6th July"
 * Months and days yes, years not always. It's per MOS:SYL. —Giggy 00:23, 4 July 2008 (UTC)

Done.--andreasegde (talk) 04:57, 4 July 2008 (UTC) Yes, and it should linked - bugger... :))--andreasegde (talk) 19:37, 3 July 2008 (UTC) Ahhh, it was reference 80, not 78. I took out the repeated name.--andreasegde (talk) 19:47, 3 July 2008 (UTC) This is strange, because if "Lennon's mother, Julia Lennon", was without commas it would seem strange, no?--andreasegde (talk) 19:49, 3 July 2008 (UTC) Done. --andreasegde (talk) 19:51, 3 July 2008 (UTC) Done. --andreasegde (talk) 19:53, 3 July 2008 (UTC)
 * "One After 909" (on Let It Be)" - should Let It Be have italics/quotation marks?
 * Ref 78 has awkward formatting - "Fletcher, Tim (6 April 2002). Johhny and the Moondogs. Fletcher, Tim." - repetition of name.
 * "Sutcliffe and fellow art college student, Bill Harry, were on the Student Union committee" - remove the commas.
 * "£78,500 ($122,000)" - I presume US dollars, but you can say so ($)
 * "inclusion on the Beatles Anthology project" - should that have italics?

Done offline, for the record. Please leave me a note when done - cheers, —Giggy 09:03, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

Done.--andreasegde (talk) 19:57, 3 July 2008 (UTC)

Uhh, you little scamp you! You're Dihydrogen monoxide (now Giggy, of course). If I had known that I would welcomed you with open arms! Hope you're doing well. --andreasegde (talk) 05:05, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Oh no, found out! :) —Giggy 05:21, 4 July 2008 (UTC)

I thank thee kindly Giggy... (I'll keep it a secret just between us :)--andreasegde (talk) 10:28, 4 July 2008 (UTC)