Talk:The Rapes of Graff/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Gen. Quon (talk · contribs) 03:35, 17 August 2015 (UTC)

Sorry for the delay!
 * Maybe put ratings info in the lead?
 * Done


 * Possibly expand why it was critically applauded.
 * Done


 * The first paragraph is a little choppy. I would recommend rewriting it so all the sentences flow together a little better.
 * What is "Cliff's case"
 * Specified. Also copyedited this whole thing.


 * Is Troy a member of the fraternity? Or is that separate?
 * No, he's not. Tell me if it's better now.


 * The plot summary is kind of all over the place, but I have a feeling part of that has to do with the fact that I've never seen Veronica Mars. Would it be useful to include a "Background" subheading before the plot summary, so as to catch people up to speed (like this)
 * No, the plot summary was just choppy. :)


 * "The episode's title was thought of by other regular writer Phil Klemmer" -> "Phil Klemmer, another of the series' writers, thought of the episode's title."
 * Done


 * Is the "episode's mystery" the rape, or the perpetrator in Cliff's case, or what. I'm a little confused here.
 * Done


 * "As a joke in the episode, the writers bleeped George Michael out and subtitled…" -> The show had previously been alluded to on Arrested Development when some of George Michael's dialogue is redacted and replaced by a subtitle that reads, 'reference to off-network high school private eye drama censored by Fox.'"
 * Done


 * I would move the bit about Rob Thomas contacting the two actors immediately after the line about how they guest starred in a previous episode.
 * I don't see that line…what are you talking about?
 * Don't worry about it. I think it's fine the way it is.-- Gen. Quon   (Talk)   02:15, 11 September 2015 (UTC)


 * "Cera and Shawkat specifically asked that they not be in scenes and that they would not play roles similar to their characters in Arrested Development." -> "Both Cera and Shawkat requested that their roles not be similar to their characters on Arrested Development."
 * Done


 * "After the episode, Ashmore had stated that" -> "After the episode aired, Ashmore stated that"
 * Done


 * Move the tidbit about the title being a spoonerism up to the very first paragraph in production, right after you mention that Klemmer thought of the title (also, is there a better source for that?)
 * I moved it, but unfortunately there's not a better source. Should I remove it altogether? Johanna  (formerly BenLinus1214)talk to me!see my work 01:02, 11 September 2015 (UTC)
 * I think for right now it's OK. If this were to go to FAN, though, I'd find a better source.-- Gen. Quon   (Talk)   02:15, 11 September 2015 (UTC)


 * "Price Peterson of TV.com gave a positive review, expressing confusion…" -> Price Peterson of TV.com gave a positive review. Although he expressed confusion over the lack of closure, he praised other aspects of the episode."
 * Done


 * Who is Alan Sepinwall
 * He's probably one of the most prominent TV critics around. Even though this is just his blog, the blog in that form was continued on HitFix. Johanna  (formerly BenLinus1214)talk to me!see my work 01:02, 11 September 2015 (UTC)
 * I should've specified what I meant, haha. I just meant, maybe you should put that he's a TV reviewer or something, because his name is in the middle of a bunch of review websites. It's not a huge deal.-- Gen. Quon   (Talk)   02:15, 11 September 2015 (UTC)


 * The word "praise" (or variations thereof) are used four times in the review section. I'd mix that up a bit.
 * Done

Fix these issues up and you're ready to go!-- Gen. Quon   (Talk)   15:34, 6 September 2015 (UTC)
 * I've responded to everything. Take a look now and let me know what you think. Johanna  (formerly BenLinus1214)talk to me!see my work 01:02, 11 September 2015 (UTC)
 * I'll pass it! Good job.-- Gen. Quon   (Talk)   02:15, 11 September 2015 (UTC)