Talk:The Silent Cartographer/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: IceWelder (talk · contribs) 20:34, 2 November 2020 (UTC)


 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):  d (copyvio and plagiarism):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:


 * Infobox
 * Use "Bungie", the common name, instead of "Bungie Studios".
 * Lead
 * Unlink "video game" for MOS:SEAOFBLUE.
 * I don't think you need to mention or cite PC Gamer up here. The body serves this just fine.
 * "... of the development of Halo itself, ..." - "itself" is redundant here.
 * Level content
 * Consider merging the second and third paragraphs.
 * Development
 * "... when developers at Bungie moved to Seattle after Microsoft ..." - It appears that Bungie as a whole was moved there, not just individuals.
 * Also. wiki-link Microsoft.
 * Instead of "an RTS", write out "a real-time strategy game", as this is the first mention of the genre.
 * "wide open spaces" should "wide-open spaces" or "wide, open spaces".
 * Remove the comma in "drive, led".
 * "... as a test map to test aspects ..." - "test" is duplicated here; I think you can just leave out "as a test map".
 * In the quote, use emdash (—), as seen in the source, instead of the current hyphen.
 * Reception
 * Kotaku, PC Gamer, etc. should be italicized.
 * There is an error in Burford's long quote, it should be "constant sense that you're making progress as you play through the level".
 * There is an error in Dale's long quote, it should be "offering the kind of freeform, tactical warfare that fans could only have dreamed about at the time".
 * Move the full-stop (and in one case, comma) after the quote per MOS:LQ. This applies to all cases in this section except for that ending in "That's peak Halo for me, really.".
 * Restore the Oxford comma in Whittaker's quote at "... sections and a blend of ...".
 * Is there a reason Andy Kelly is referred to as "Andy K."?
 * In the last sentence, remove the quotation marks from the level name to align it with the rest of the article.
 * Legacy
 * When talking about the film, link to the respective section on the Halo franchise article.
 * IGN should be italicized.
 * Should "spiritual successor" be in quotes? Either way, consider wiki-linking it.
 * In the last sentence, "the level" is ambiguous, since the preceding paragraph mentioned three different levels.
 * Other
 * Add Rich Stanton as the author for ref #4.
 * For ref #14, include the page number (44).
 * A pet peeve of mine: Please order the categories alphabetically.
 * The level is mentioned on Halo: Combat Evolved. Consider linking it from there.


 * Nice work so far. I left notes for improvement above and am putting the review for now. Regards,  IceWelder  &#91; &#9993; &#93; 20:34, 2 November 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks for taking it up so fast, I have made tweaks to the article that should address all of the concerns raised. I don't have any particular arguments with any of them, they were all errors I made whether unknowingly or accidentally.ZXCVBNM (TALK) 21:05, 2 November 2020 (UTC)
 * Good job. I did a last few cosmetic fixes and archived the sources (then redid the fixed because IABot reverted my changes). . Regards, IceWelder  &#91; &#9993; &#93; 21:35, 2 November 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks so much for the quick, thorough review. That is excellent news.ZXCVBNM (TALK) 23:00, 2 November 2020 (UTC)