Talk:The Unraveling (Rise Against album)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Adabow (talk · contribs) 05:04, 5 January 2011 (UTC)


 * Some dab links and dodgy external links that need fixing. Adabow (talk · contribs) 05:04, 5 January 2011 (UTC)

Nice work, it has the basics, but there are a few issues mentioned below, mostly to do with elaborating and more in-depth discussion of information. The article also needs a bit of copyediting; I have raised a few problems in the prose, but please run through the entire article and give it a touch-up. I'll place the review on hold, awaiting improvements. Adabow (talk · contribs) 10:36, 5 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Unfortunately, the main contributor has been inactive lately, so after 18 days on hold I will fail the review. Any editors may renominate the article at WP:GAN after addressing points raised here. Adabow (talk · contribs) 05:51, 22 January 2011 (UTC)

Lead

 * "debut full-length album" → debut studio album
 * "Mass Giorgini produced the album at Sonic Iguana Studios in Lafayette, Indiana, in December 2000" - mention later per MOS:LEAD
 * "Although The Unraveling did not rank on any of the Billboard 200 charts" → Although The Unraveling did not rank on any record charts
 * The lead needs to generally be expanded and go into a little further detail. For example, you do not mention the reception of the reissue, and I see nothing about the musical style.
 * Also, references are not needed in the lead, as the lead should not contain new material, and therefore info should be referenced later on

Background

 * "Rise Against existed for over a year as local Chicago band "Transistor Revolt" before..." → Rise Against existed for over a year as local Chicago band, "Transistor Revolt", before...
 * "before recording their debut" - debut what?
 * "although it was added as a bonus track to the 2005 Reissue" - reissue needs lower case 'r'

Style and composition

 * This section needs more linking of genres and sub-genres
 * File:401 Kill.ogg needs reducing to less than 19.9 seconds, and should be of lower quality, per WP:SAMPLE
 * Same with File:Join the Ranks.ogg (reduce to less than 8.6 seconds)
 * "In The Age interview" → In the interview with The Age
 * "The first 15 seconds of "Reception Fades" are taken from 1997's Henry Fool." - how was it taken from the film?

Release and reception

 * Divide this section up. Make 'Commercial' its own level two section, like 'Release and promotion', and 'Critical' to level two section 'Critical reception'
 * "Fat Wreck Chords released The Unraveling on April 21, 2001, in the United States on LP and CD formats" – comma after 'States'
 * "The album and the 2005 reissue did not rank on any major music charts" → The album did not rank on any record charts
 * "The band participated in the 2001 "Fuck the World Tour"" - no quote marks around tours
 * "during which the band heavily promoted their debut" - debut what?
 * "On the tour, the band met Chris Chasse, who was then a member of Reach the Sky as lead guitarist and later joined Rise Against in 2004 after the departure of Mohney" - comma after 'guitarist'. You also need to mention Mohney's departure here
 * "Rise Against signed to Fat Wreck Chords again in 2003 to record their sophomore album, Revolutions Per Minute" - source?
 * The Allmusic review ref should be updated to link directly to the review page

2005 reissue

 * "The re-issue was met with positive critical acclaim" -no hyphen everywhere else, so why here?

Track listing

 * Source for writers?