Talk:Theodore Synadenos/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Ealdgyth (talk · contribs) 16:33, 9 January 2015 (UTC)

Oh, look. Obscure Byzantine guy... seems a perfect fit for someone who usually writes on obscure Anglo-Norman guys! (Hi, Constantine, long time no see!)... Review incoming. Ealdgyth - Talk 16:33, 9 January 2015 (UTC)


 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

** "after his father's death" ... a bit unclear who is meant by "his"... can we make this a bit clearer?
 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose, no copyvios, spelling and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * Some spots where the prose isn't clear
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Per CorenSearchBot, no copyright violations found. Random googling of three phrases showed no copyright violations (just Wikipedia mirrors or scrapers).
 * References:
 * Note 1 "PLP 27120" ... what does that mean?
 * It is the usual abbreviation for the Prosopographisches Lexikon der Palaiologenzeit, I've added a link to make it clearer.
 * Lead:
 * "... played an important role... scion of an important noble lineage.... first and most important supporters..." lots of repetition here, can we vary it a bit?
 * Rephrased.
 * "Forced to reconcile himself with Kantakouzenos's enemies" this isn't clear exactly ... how can you reconcile yourself? Is "himself" just redundant here?
 * Rephrased.
 * Under:
 * Lead:
 * "... played an important role... scion of an important noble lineage.... first and most important supporters..." lots of repetition here, can we vary it a bit?
 * Rephrased.
 * "Forced to reconcile himself with Kantakouzenos's enemies" this isn't clear exactly ... how can you reconcile yourself? Is "himself" just redundant here?
 * Rephrased.
 * Under:
 * Rephrased.
 * The sentence starting "The old emperor, distrusting Synadenos' loyalty...." is one tangled long sentence full of clauses. Can we break it up just a bit?
 * Rephrased.
 * "Andronikos III was forced to resign the throne and retire to a monastery" I think you mean "Andronikos II" here?
 * Indeed. Corrected.
 * Renewed:
 * "victor of the disastrous civil war" why was it any more disastrous than other civil wars?
 * This particular war is the one that well and truly broke the spine of Byzantium, and there was not to be any recovery from it, even a minor onw. I added a short explanation why, but I am not certain if it fits or even if it is necessary; the civil war article makes the point abundantly clear.
 * I made some copyedits.
 * I've put the article on hold for seven days to allow folks to address the issues I've brought up. Feel free to contact me on my talk page, or here with any concerns, and let me know one of those places when the issues have been addressed. If I may suggest that you strike out, check mark, or otherwise mark the items I've detailed, that will make it possible for me to see what's been addressed, and you can keep track of what's been done and what still needs to be worked on. Ealdgyth - Talk 16:56, 9 January 2015 (UTC)
 * Hi, indeed long time no see, I hope everything is OK with you, and thanks for taking the time to review this! I've fixed most of the stuff you recommended. A question, though: as someone who also writes on obscure guys, do you think I should add more context at places? Usually I am wary of adding anything but the most pertinent explanations, as with these obscure guys the context filler will risk outweighing the actual material on them, but I'd like another opinion. Cheers, Constantine  ✍  11:00, 15 January 2015 (UTC)
 * Generally for GA level ... I do what you do. FA level, I depend on the reviewers to tell me when more context is needed. Sometimes that ends up being quite a lot - see Hygeberht, where the background probably does almost outweigh the guy ... Everything looks good here, passing now. Ealdgyth - Talk 13:57, 15 January 2015 (UTC)
 * Thanks a lot. Oh, and a rather belated happy New Year! Constantine  ✍  14:25, 15 January 2015 (UTC)