Talk:Theodoxus fluviatilis/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Jan.Kamenicek (talk · contribs) 07:17, 12 March 2015 (UTC)

After first quick look: I think that the section Taxonomy needs some plain text. The information in bullets is brief and clear, which is good, but some prose is needed as well. Maybe someting from the taxonomic history or some alternative taxonomic views can be added. One example: the different views on the fact, whether Theodoxus fluviatilis and T. fluviatilis littoralis are distinct species or synonyms, can be described in more detail. Linnaeus called them Nerita fluviatilis and Nerita littoralis and considered them to be even different species.
 * OK, I expanded the info about quite known littoralis taxon into 3 plain sentences. Also Taxonomy section expanded and clarified a bit, partly because of moving of the Linnaeus' description. --Snek01 (talk) 22:36, 16 March 2015 (UTC)

Typography:
 * be careful about hyphens and dashes.
 * I think Snek01 was not aware that hyphens (rather than dashes) should be used in places like "2–3 meters depth". I had already changed some of these over to hyphens, but I had missed some others. I believe I caught all of them now? Invertzoo (talk) 20:36, 16 March 2015 (UTC)
 * I fixed it. --Jan Kameníček (talk) 22:14, 16 March 2015 (UTC)


 * If the ref is at the end of a sentence, it should go after the full stop, not before it.
 * Have these all been corrected now? I can't see any cases where this is still true, but I may be overlooking one or two... Invertzoo (talk) 20:39, 16 March 2015 (UTC)
 * Thanks. --Jan Kameníček (talk) 22:14, 16 March 2015 (UTC)

I can see that there is still some copyediting work going on, so I will wait until it is done. However, the section Distribution seems to be already copyedited, and despite this the first paragraph clearly needs rewording. There is 4 times the word "distribution" a once "distributed" in 5 sentences (twice in the first sentence), which does not read well. --Jan Kameníček (talk) 00:02, 14 March 2015 (UTC)


 * I re-worked the "Distribution" prose in the first section. Hope this reads better now. Invertzoo (talk) 21:27, 14 March 2015 (UTC)
 * Thanks. --Jan Kameníček (talk) 22:14, 16 March 2015 (UTC)

Detailed review:


 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

Very interesting article, nicely illustrated. In some aspects it is very detailed, but some sections are too listy and others need some more text too.
 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose, no copyvios, spelling and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * I think the main problem here is the section Distibution, which consist mostly of a really long list, which is not necessary in my opinion. I suggest to exclude the list into a separate article of a stand-alone list type and rewrite this section in a manner similar to Kerry slug. See also Manual of Style/Embedded lists.
 * I could go ahead and create a separate list article for the list of distribution info and try to summarize the info as continuous text in the article, however I have not heard anything from User:Snek01, who is the actual nominator. Invertzoo (talk) 14:12, 18 March 2015 (UTC)
 * QUESTION: How about this idea? What if I take the listy part of "Distribution" and divide it into subheadings by area, "Western Europe", "Central Europe" and so on, and then make the prose continuous within those sections. How does that sound? Invertzoo (talk) 23:41, 20 March 2015 (UTC)
 * UPDATE: I decided to go ahead with that plan. Invertzoo (talk) 14:11, 21 March 2015 (UTC)
 * Another listy part, which is practically without plain text, is the section Parasites. This section also includes brief information about predators, so maybe it should be renamed to "Parasites and predators".
 * I made a few small tweaks on this section. Invertzoo (talk) 14:12, 18 March 2015 (UTC)
 * I have re-worked that now completely. Invertzoo (talk) 23:41, 20 March 2015 (UTC)
 * The section Reproductive system consists of one big and one smaller picture accompanied by two short sentences. However, the pictures should be used to illustrate what is written in the text and not to substitute the text. The section Taxonomy is much better, although it would also help if it was possible to have more plain text here. Maybe the information mentioned behind some of the list entries could be incorporated into the text instead. This is just a thought to consider.
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * Three links from the references seem dead and cannot be checked:, and.
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * If possible, it would be good to expand the section Reproductive system. After a short time of searching I found some brief info at Animaldiversity.org, which also includes a reference to a paper on the topic (although I do not know, how accessible it is to you). On the other hand, the section Distribution need not contain such a detailed list of areas. In my opinion, it should be summarized in plain text and the list should be moved to a separate article. See point 1 above.
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * --Jan Kameníček (talk) 21:21, 17 March 2015 (UTC)
 * Thank you for valuable reviewer ideas. With Invertzoo's help, I think all suggestions are realized now. --Snek01 (talk) 19:29, 21 March 2015 (UTC)
 * Pass/Fail:
 * --Jan Kameníček (talk) 21:21, 17 March 2015 (UTC)
 * Thank you for valuable reviewer ideas. With Invertzoo's help, I think all suggestions are realized now. --Snek01 (talk) 19:29, 21 March 2015 (UTC)

Bullets x continuous text
Thanks for the edits to the Parasites (and predators) section. However, I believe that the article needs to get rid of the vast number of bullets. I suggest to rewrite it in a manner shown below. It is just an example of style, not a text prepared to be published.

''Theodoxus fluviatilis has been recorded as being host to several species of trematodes. It serves as the first intermediate host for Plagioporus skrjabini, while for Cotylurus cornutus it is the second intermediate host. Another confirmed parasite of this class is Notocotylus zduni.''

''This small snail is also host to several species of ciliates, especially to the ciliate Trichodina baltica. These snails are usually 100% infected with it in the mantle cavity. Another ciliate sometimes found in their mantle cavity is Scyphidia sp. Other confirmed ciliates parasiting Theodoxus fluviatilis are Protospira mazurica and Hypocomella quatuor.''

--Jan Kameníček (talk) 20:05, 18 March 2015 (UTC)


 * OK, I will see what I can do. Since I did not do the research, this might actually be easier for User:Snek01 to do, and I could clean up the prose afterwards. Invertzoo (talk) 15:53, 19 March 2015 (UTC)


 * UPDATE. I merged the bullets into continuous prose, thanks for the suggestion and the examples. Invertzoo (talk) 23:27, 20 March 2015 (UTC)


 * Well done. Thanks for all the edits and for expanding the reproductive system section. Now it looks much better. May I just ask, if you could have a look at the wording of the Parasites and predators section and at least slightly decrease the occurence of the word "host" if possible, please? The last sentence of the first paragraph also starts almost exactly the same way as the following first sentence of the second paragraph (The snail is also host to... × This small snail is also host to), which also does not real well. --Jan Kameníček (talk) 20:17, 21 March 2015 (UTC)
 * Could you also have a look at the section Western Europe? I did some editing here, but I do not know what to do with the second incomplete sentence. It also seems that the word "occur" is overused in the section Distribution and it would be good if some synonyms were sometimes used instead. --Jan Kameníček (talk) 21:39, 21 March 2015 (UTC)


 * As I think you already noticed, I just now fixed the "host" problem in the Parasites section, and also fixed up the Western Europe part of the Distribution section. Invertzoo (talk) 22:02, 21 March 2015 (UTC)
 * Done, thanks. --Jan Kameníček (talk) 21:23, 26 March 2015 (UTC)

Predators
I found some useful information on predators:. --Jan Kameníček (talk) 22:06, 21 March 2015 (UTC)


 * I will let Snek01 weigh in on this, but I don't really know whether ADW and EOL are considered to be reliable sources? Invertzoo (talk) 18:01, 22 March 2015 (UTC)


 * Original source is Schneckli 2009 . Schneckli is cited by ADW and ADW is subsequently cited by EOL . I am not good in German language, but I do not see in Schneckli's text, that those 4 species are predators. Other resource is Lappalainen 2001, but I found there the only info, that the predator is Rutilus rutilus. Feel free to check it out. --Snek01 (talk) 20:27, 22 March 2015 (UTC)


 * Therefore it doesn't sound as if we can really use this information. Invertzoo (talk) 22:22, 22 March 2015 (UTC)


 * No we cannot. I asked somebody to translate the part of the Schneckli's article dealing with the alleged predators and the result was negative. It is quite clear that the author of the ADW text, who apparently relied just on Google translation of the Schneckli's article, misinterpreted it. --Jan Kameníček (talk) 17:27, 26 March 2015 (UTC)

Conclusion
My points were dealt with and the article is now even above the standard GA level in my opinion. Jan Kameníček (talk) 20:26, 28 April 2015 (UTC)