Talk:Therefore I Am (song)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 10:32, 28 February 2021 (UTC)

First review of a Billie Eilish song for a while! --K. Peake 10:32, 28 February 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Recording date in the infobox is not sourced in the body
 * Target dark pop to Darkness in music
 * Billie Eilish O'Connel → Billie Eilish O'Connell under songwriters
 * Should the producer be credited as Finneas O'Connell or Finneas?
 * Remove "vocals being handled by the former" since the opening sentence makes that clear because she is listed as the only artist
 * The single release sentence should be directly after writing/production instead
 * The sentence described the song's comp should come before the lyrics one
 * ""Therefore I Am" is an" → "It is an"
 * Unnecessary capitalization for Hip hop
 * Critical reception sentence should be the one at the start of the second para, while the year-end lists one should be the second sentence and the commercial stats should come in-between these two sentences and the ones about the music video
 * Remove wikilink on California
 * The drinking beverages part about the music video is not mentioned in the body
 * "Hot Dog on a Stick and Chipotle Mexican Grill." → "Hot Dog on a Stick, and Chipotle Mexican Grill."
 * Add a sentence about the video's reception because you have enough reviews listed to do so
 * ""Therefore I Am" was released as a single by" → "It was released as a single by" with the target
 * Release date needs to be written out in the body since there is a rule that everything in the lead must be in prose there; maybe change the reception section to release and reception, then add it to the start of there?
 * Target music critics to Music journalism
 * "comparing it to her hit single" → "comparing it to Eilish's hit single"
 * "It featured in 2020 year-end lists by" → ""Therefore I Am" was featured in 2020 year-end lists by multiple publications, including"
 * "The song reached the top five on Billboard's" → "The song further reached the top-five on the Billboard"
 * The Mainstream Top 40 position needs to be written out in the body per my earlier comment
 * "The single peaked at number one of singles charts" → "It peaked at number one on the singles charts"
 * "New Zealand and received a platinum certification in Canada." → "New Zealand, alongside receiving a platinum certification in Canada from Music Canda (MC)." with the wikilink
 * Mention the live performance at the very end of the lead

Background

 * Retitle to Background and development
 * Instagram live → Instagram Live with the wikilink per MOS:LINK2SECT
 * Wikilink music video
 * The David part and the sentence afterwards are not sourced, unless I missed something here?
 * [2][3][4][5][6][7] is too many refs at the end of one sentence; move them around to the appropriate areas but remember, do not invoke a ref twice in a sentence
 * "with Zane Lowe of Apple Music. Eilish explains:" → "with Zane Lowe on Apple Music 1, Eilish explained:" with the wikilink
 * The source does not directly say she confirmed the song will be on the album

Composition and lyrics

 * ""Therefore I Am" is an" → "Musically, "Therefore I Am" is an"
 * "and corresponding lyric" → "and corresponding line"
 * "to "Cogito, ergo sum", a" → "to Cogito, ergo sum, a" because even the NME ref italicise it; speech marks are useless here since they were only doing that due to it being a statement
 * Target music critics to Music journalism
 * "minimalist production consisting of" → "minimalist production, consisting of" with the target
 * The minimalist production is unsourced, as NME only mentions Eilish having put out different songs since the minimalist "Everything I Wanted", plus bass guitar is not sourced either
 * The bass is backed up by the NME source
 * that is a bassline mentioned, not bass guitar --K. Peake 08:29, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Swap [14] and [15] at the end of the sentence per info order
 * "the track has braggadocios rapped verses and use of a synthesizer repeated throughout the hook." → "the track uses a synthesizer throughout the hook and has braggadocios rapped verses in between each hook." with the target
 * ""the man," while beginning" → ""the man", while beginning" per MOS:QUOTE
 * "wears normal clothes."" → "wears normal clothes"."
 * "not know who the song's target is:" → "not know who the person is, repeating:"

Critical reception

 * Retitle to Release and reception per my earlier comment, using ref 6 here
 * ""Therefore I am" received positive reviews from critics." → ""Therefore I Am" was met with positive reviews from music critics."
 * "mentions that the song has" → "mentioned that the song has"
 * Fix MOS:QUOTE issues throughout the section
 * "He later says the song" → "He went on to say the song"
 * Add a mention of the bassline in comp too
 * "comments that the song" → "commented that the song"

Year-end lists

 * Write these out in prose, as there are only five

Commercial performance
❌ I put the countries where the song reached the top five.
 * "with just 12 hours of tracking." → "in its first four days of tracking." per the source
 * "It blasted to number 2" → "The song rose to number two on the chart"
 * "her fourth top ten hit" → "her fourth top-10 hit" per MOS:NUM
 * "at number 5 on the" → "at number five on the US"
 * Merge the two sentences about the Hot Rock & Alternative Songs chart and add a citation for the peak position
 * Mention the Mainstream Top 40 after this chart
 * "The single also reached" → "The song also reached"
 * Commercial info is supposed to be ordered geographically, so Canada should be the one after the US and place the MC certification with the chart position
 * ❌ The US and UK
 * "of 200,000 units." → "of 200,000 units in the United Kingdom."
 * "It reached the top five in" → "It further reached the top-five in"
 * "on singles charts in" → "on the singles charts in"
 * "and New Zealand[52]." → "and New Zealand.[52]"
 * Malaysia, the Netherlands, and Italy positions that have not been listed are notable for here

Music video
❌ Eilish is bound to perform this song more in the future.
 * Merge this section with the below one and retitle to Music video and promotion, as the latter is only one sentence plus remove the sub-sections here

Background

 * "The video was shot inside" → "It was shot inside"
 * "told Lowe about the video:" → "told Lowe about the visual:" to avoid repetitive wording
 * ""barely any crew."" → ""barely any crew"." per MOS:QUOTE

Synopsis and reception

 * Wikilink music video on the img text
 * Mention the cardigan being covered in "graffitied symbols and patches" per Vogue
 * "Eilish beings to dance wildly" → "Eilish begins to dance wildly"
 * "Hot Dog on a Stick and Chipotle Mexican Grill." → "Hot Dog on a Stick, and Chipotle Mexican Grill."
 * Mention that she has drinks as well as food per Capital FM
 * "acquired throughout the video." → "acquired in the video."
 * "The video concludes with" → "It concludes with"
 * The source does not specify the guard was off screen nor that they yelled at her
 * Add release year of the Fatboy Slim video in brackets
 * "He mentions that Eilish was not" → "He mentioned that Eilish is not"
 * "and eerie emptiness".[60] He added that the video evoked" → "and eerie emptiness", while adding the video evokes"
 * "and played like a" → "and plays like a"
 * "You Get What You Give'."" → "You Get What You Give'"."
 * "agenda-setting style stars."" → "agenda-setting style stars"."
 * "noted the production had a" → "noted the production has a"

Live performances

 * This should come directly at the end of the above section
 * ""Therefore I Am" was performed for" → "To further promote "Therefore I Am", Eilish performed the song for"
 * "on November 22, 2020." → "on November 22."

Personnel

 * Retitle to Credits and personnel
 * Use so there is the right space between credits and personnel
 * Target recording engineer to Audio engineer instead because that is the most appropriate page

Weekly charts

 * Are you sure the Radio charts should be included for the Czech Republic and Slovakia?
 * The second ref for the Global 200 is not needed so remove it

Year-end charts

 * Good

Certifications

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION

Release history

 * Format → Format(s)
 * Label → Label(s)
 * Center the ref col

Final comments and verdict

 * until all of the issues are fixed; let's see what I get round to tomorrow during the GAN drive though! --K. Peake 17:57, 28 February 2021 (UTC)
 * Kyle Peake Done! Thanks a lot for the review. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 06:24, 8 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Looks a lot better, but you still need to add the single release itself in prose because everything in the lead needs to be written in the body (the announcement of its date in background doesn't constitute for the actual release). Also, I can see you listed top five positions in commercial performance but the top 20 ones are definitely notable for the section too, even if you just write that the song further reached the top 10 then mention the countries by name. One last thing; the ref col still needs centering. --K. Peake 07:03, 8 March 2021 (UTC)
 * I added the release to the commercial section. I don't know how to fix the ref col. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 07:04, 8 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Silly me, must have missed that but I see now after you pointed the release out. See "Fade" for an example of how to fix the ref col, plus you still need to add the chart positions that I mentioned. --K. Peake 07:12, 8 March 2021 (UTC)
 * If you insist. I did it. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 07:24, 8 March 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅; the information was not properly formatted by you, but it was close so I made the fixes. --K. Peake 07:42, 8 March 2021 (UTC)