Talk:Thomas Cushing/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sarnold17 (talk · contribs) 23:35, 6 June 2012 (UTC)

Hello again,

Summer is almost here, and I'm finding some time to do a few reviews. Sorry to miss out on doing Harry Vane, but I was just too busy at the time. I've already made a few minor edits. Here are some suggestions:


 * Early years. What is Faneuil Hall, and why was it significant that Cushing's father receive it?  To whom was it given, the town? Clarified It's not a majorly significant point, but is mentioned in most references to Cushing.  Magic ♪piano 03:53, 11 June 2012 (UTC)


 * Early years, second paragraph, consists of several short, choppy sentences. Unless this changes the meaning, a suggestion is to reword:  "Thomas got his early education at the Boston Latin School, followed by Harvard, where he studied law, graduated in 1744, and was then admitted to the bar."  I'm just not sure where he studied law, so not sure this will work.
 * I assume he read law with a lawyer (as was typical of the time) after leaving Harvard (I'm not sure Harvard taught law then). I've reworked the flow on the paragraph.  Magic ♪piano 03:53, 11 June 2012 (UTC)


 * Political career. First and second sentence both say "winning election."  Recommend changing up the wording in the second sentence by saying, "...until 1763, also being elected to the General Court in 1761." Reworded  Magic ♪piano 14:56, 15 June 2012 (UTC)


 * Political career, second paragraph, first sentence. When I first read the sentence, I tripped over the wording a bit (even though it sounds fine as I re-read it).  It might run a bit more smoothly if worded thusly: "Cushing was an early opponent of British attempts to tax the colonies after the conclusion of the French and Indian War in 1763. Rephrased  Magic ♪piano 14:56, 15 June 2012 (UTC)


 * Political career, second paragraph, third sentence. Recommend changing "he wrote in 1763 the extant..." to "he wrote in 1763 that extant..." Done  Magic ♪piano 14:56, 15 June 2012 (UTC)


 * Speaker of the house, first sentence. Again, to combine short sentences into longer ones, recommend first two sentences become one:  "In May 1766 Cushing was chosen to be speaker of the assembly which had first chosen James Otis, but Governor Bernard rejected this choice, and Cushing was named..."
 * I personally think this makes the sentence too long...  Magic ♪piano 14:56, 15 June 2012 (UTC)


 * Speaker of the house, third paragraph, second sentence. The numbers should agree, therefore suggest either "when named to one of the Boston Committees..." or "when named to a Boston Committee of Correspondence." Fixed  Magic ♪piano 14:56, 15 June 2012 (UTC)


 * Lieutennt Governor, fifth sentence. Instead of "He served in the post,..."  recommend "He then served in the post..." Fixed  Magic ♪piano 14:56, 15 June 2012 (UTC)

I've checked most of the references, and now need to check the images.Sarnold17 (talk) 23:35, 6 June 2012 (UTC)

A couple more items that may or may not need attention:


 * The article's one image (other than in infobox) is left justified, which on some screens will force it to be to the left of a section header. Recommend moving image to the right just to preclude this from happening.  I can't find this as being a requirement under images, but recall this as being in issue with some of my articles in the past. Moved  Magic ♪piano 03:53, 11 June 2012 (UTC)


 * The reference for Alexander I don't find in the Notes, and should be moved to a "Further Reading" section. Done  Magic ♪piano 03:53, 11 June 2012 (UTC)


 * The notes include two different references for "Cushing" and should be differentiated. The best way to do this would be to clean up the "Dictionary of American Biography" reference, by making the footnote a simple "Dictionary of American Biography" with a volume and page number.  The way the note looks now is somewhat awkward compared to all the other notes.  Also, the reference should include a volume and page number, but I suspect that you inherited this reference, and may possibly not have this info available to you.  One way or the other, this reference could use some cosmetic adjustment.
 * I'm not quite sure what to do about this one. You are correct that I don't have volume information -- I believe this reference came via an online database accessed through my library.  References to the older (Drake edition) DAB I don't think can be substituted; Drake is sketchy and sometimes just wrong.  Magic ♪piano 14:56, 15 June 2012 (UTC)


 * It probably wouldn't hurt to include wife and children. Being a genealogist, this is just a personal thing with me, but this is one of your shorter articles, so a little more material wouldn't be a bad thing.  There may be some descendants out there who would be very interested in seeing this.Sarnold17 (talk) 11:58, 7 June 2012 (UTC)
 * Family is mentioned (one sentence) in the Early Years.  Magic ♪piano 03:53, 11 June 2012 (UTC)


 * Hi. I'm presently on the road with rather limited internet access.  It may take a bit of time to get to this.  Magic ♪piano 19:48, 8 June 2012 (UTC)


 * No problem; we can get to it when you are able.Sarnold17 (talk) 09:02, 9 June 2012 (UTC)


 * GA review (see here for criteria)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * prose:  (MoS):  (pending minor changes/discussion); items addressed
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * 2) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * No edit wars etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail: