Talk:Thomas Lavy

online source
http://www.nytimes.com/1995/12/24/us/man-arrested-in-poison-case-kills-himself-in-jail-cell.html

©Geni 02:18, 15 February 2012 (UTC)

Solid start here
Not bad. I made some minor edits, alot of the word "noted" was used originally. I added a couple tags, one for a needed citation and a couple others for a bit more specificity. There were a couple instances where the article strayed from NPOV so I made some minor changes there, nothing that too terribly affected the content of the article. It may be beneficial to continue to look for NPOV violations, as the reliance on the book by Smith may present some issues concerning NPOV in that it seems to be slanted against law enforcement in the case. Of course, I'm not here to justify either side, but we want to make sure it's fair and we don't give undue weight to the opinions expressed in any one source. I'll probably make another copy edit pass over the next couple of days and would gladly offer up some more specific comments on article content if the primary author so desired. Like I said, great start here, good work. Keep it up, and happy editing! IvoShandor (talk) 14:23, 16 February 2012 (UTC)
 * I see you've made some changes, that's fine, if I remove anything of importance in copy editing, please feel free. The reason I removed "alleged" is because it's primarily a legal term, and since the "alleging" entity was a media organization I didn't think it applied. Claim has the same meaning in civilian parlance. Might be a good idea to use quotation marks when a phrase is direct from the source, just to avoid confusion. IvoShandor (talk) 14:57, 16 February 2012 (UTC)
 * Thank you, I agreed that 90% of your changes were improvements - I am trying to determine whether CQ Press was in fact the first to suggest white supremacy, there is a lot of blogs and such that suggest he was a member of the Aryan Nations, but no reputable sources - it looks like somebody said X, somebody interpreted it as Y, somebody else said it's practically the same thing as "Z". (Same with the term "Neo-Nazi" on his books, I'd be curious). Still trying to dig around and figure it all out; there is no single good source. Also, the book by Smith is actually written by one of the FBI officers present...so it's an interesting piece of pro/anti. MajickJonson (talk) 15:00, 16 February 2012 (UTC)
 * Excellent, all articles are works in progress. Improvement seems to be the natural state of things. I knew that book was by one of the agents present, but I haven't read it so I cannot comment on its content, really. I was only saying it "seemed" to lean one way, which is nothing more than my impression. It sounds like an interesting read. This a good topic for an article, as it's something I wondered about when I wrote the BWATA article awhile back. Thanks for your work and glad I could help out. IvoShandor (talk) 15:35, 16 February 2012 (UTC)

— Preceding unsigned comment added by MajickJonson (talk • contribs) 16:58, 19 February 2012 (UTC)

Comments

 * Was he actually a farmer when he made the border crossing in 1993? It sounds like he was retiring from a different career, had an interest in farming and was headed to a new career as a farmer at that point in time.  Valdez, Alaska is a small speck of flat land in an extremely mountainous coastal area.  There's some farming activity to the northeast, in a portion of the Copper River valley.  I seriously doubt there's any going on in Valdez, though.
 * He appears to have been too young to have served in the Korean War.
 * The article states that he dealt with Canadian Customs at the Alaska Highway crossing. The photo is of the United States Customs facility, which is right near the border.  Canadian Customs is about 25 mi down the highway past the border in Beaver Creek, Yukon.  Big difference, as far as I'm concerned.
 * The article is missing what I would think to be important information about his exact movements in the four days between arriving at Beaver Creek and arriving in the Lower 48.
 * Would these books which are mentioned by title happened to have been published by Loompanics Unlimited? I think it would be helpful to mention it were that the case.
 * Re: the Arkansas mailing address: "HC" stands for Highway Contract (Route). It's different from a P.O. box.
 * Some of the excessive detail involved in presenting the various sides of the case gives the impression of introducing POV into the article under the guise of neutrality. "In violation of the Posse Comitatus Act prohibiting the use of the military in domestic policing" would be the best example of that.  The quote from Sam Hauer appears to be way too POV-leaning as well.
 * I believe the Alaskan prosecutor's name was Robert Bundy, not Bundry. He may have been the U.S. Attorney for the District of Alaska at the time, but I don't remember anymore.RadioKAOS (talk) 21:40, 27 March 2012 (UTC)