Talk:Thomas S. Monson/GA1

GA Review
This review is transcluded from Talk:Thomas S. Monson/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Hello. I'll be doing the GA review for this article. I've only skimmed it so far, but here are the initial things that jumped out at me:
 * There are a couple of instances where stand alone years are wikilinked, but shouldn't be. 1959 --> 1959
 * ✅ --Eustress (talk) 20:07, 4 July 2008 (UTC)


 * I don't see the point for the subheading (Books by Monson) under the heading Works. It seems a little un-necessary as the sentence explains it, and there isn't another heading for works not by him.
 * ✅ --Eustress (talk) 20:07, 4 July 2008 (UTC)

I'll go through the text in the next few days when I have some more time. I'm putting the article on hold for now. Nikki 311  03:43, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * I have addressed your preliminary concerns. Thank you! --Eustress (talk) 20:07, 4 July 2008 (UTC)

Here's some more specific suggestions:
 * The image captions are complete sentences, so they need periods at the end.
 * ✅ Good catch! --Eustress (talk) 19:08, 7 July 2008 (UTC)


 * "Monson would often spend weekends" - try to avoid "would + verb" --> "Monson often spent weekends"
 * ✅ --Eustress (talk) 19:08, 7 July 2008 (UTC)


 * "On October 7, 1948, he married Frances Beverly Johnson in the Salt Lake Temple. Today, he and Frances have three children: Thomas Lee, Ann Frances, and Clark Spencer." - it sounds awkward to suddenly use the present tense in a sentence surrounded by the past tense. --> "On October 7, 1948, he married Frances Beverly Johnson in the Salt Lake Temple, and the couple eventually had three children: Thomas Lee, Ann Frances, and Clark Spencer." - or something like that
 * ✅ --Eustress (talk) 19:08, 7 July 2008 (UTC)


 * "He would bring them gifts" --> "He brought them gifts"
 * ✅ --Eustress (talk) 19:08, 7 July 2008 (UTC)


 * "As an apostle of the LDS Church, Monson worked in many areas of the world and in many capacities." --> "As an apostle of the LDS Church, Monson worked in many capacities all around the world." - less wordy
 * ✅ --Eustress (talk) 19:08, 7 July 2008 (UTC)

The article will be on hold for seven days to allow for improvements. Nikki 311  16:08, 6 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Thank you for your suggestions. I have fixed all issues raised. Thank you! --Eustress (talk) 19:08, 7 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Great work. Pass. Nikki  311  19:11, 7 July 2008 (UTC)