Talk:Through Being Cool/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Calvin999 (talk · contribs) 09:47, 22 October 2015 (UTC)


 * Info box
 * Artwork needs an alt= caption
 * Use a for the genres so it makes them have a bullet point to separate them instead of a comma
 * Why do these genres have citations? They should be sourced in the article, not here
 * Remove 'at', the city and state from the recorded parameter


 * Lead
 * (stylized as "Through Being Cool") → Is quotations really a stylisation?
 * Moving from a → Not very encyclopaedic
 * at Trax East, → Presumably this is a studio
 * were "intense". → Quotations in the lead need a citation
 * to tour alongside Snapcase, New Found Glory, Hot Water Music and Face to Face, → What are thesE?
 * music video was made → was filmed
 * ", which the band later regretted. It was directed by Darren Doan. → This doesn't really flow
 * signed to Vagrant. → Which is what?
 * front-to-back on tour → What is a front to back tour?
 * repressed → I think you mean re-pressed. Repressed means to hold something back inside you, like repressed anger.
 * considers it "the most important record that we did". → Needs a citation; also, just lumping this fact here makes it read boring


 * Background
 * Link Saves the Day
 * Saves the Day formed in late 1997, their debut album, Can't Slow Down, was released with Equal Vision in August 1998. → Poor structure of clauses
 * played, drummer → Needs to be connected better than with a comma as the complete sentences reads jilted
 * touring Can't Slow Down, → You don't tour an album
 * members left. → Remove left; previous phrasing is indicative of this
 * and hung around → Too informal


 * Composition
 * All the lyrics → All of the lyrics
 * All the music → All of the music (complete sentence)
 * The band would stay over at → Where?
 * a handful of → Use a different word
 * This is where the genres should be listed and cited, and not cited in the info box


 * Recording
 * I feel like this should go after Background, because you talk about the composition and then the recording. It's not chronological
 * 11 days – nine full days and two half-days. → This isn't very clear. It was either 11 or 11 and a half.
 * You've linked engineering and mastering but not mixing?


 * Artwork
 * Photography was done → This doesn't sound right.


 * Release and touring
 * Sometime during February, → In February
 * After all this touring, → This sounds fan-written


 * Track listing
 * Why haven't you use a proper track listing table like all other GAN albums do? It's pretty standard.


 * References
 * I don't think refs 2 and 3 are reliable.

I don't think this article is a Good Article standard. The whole article has a bit of a fan-written feel to it, and the language is quite often not very good. It's not a very cohesive article and I think there are issues with the structure of it. If by doing what I've suggested above, I still don't think it is good enough to pass. It lacks flow. I'm failing this article I'm afraid. — Calvin999 15:06, 24 October 2015 (UTC)
 * Outcome