Talk:Thunderball (novel)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Yllosubmarine (talk · contribs) 19:08, 1 December 2011 (UTC)

Hello again! I've volunteered to review this article for GAC, so I'll be posting comments/suggestions sometime in the next couple days. From first glance things look pretty good, so hopefully we'll have another Good Article on our hands in new time. I'll be back soon. María ( yllo submarine ) 19:08, 1 December 2011 (UTC)


 * Hi there - great to have you back again and I hope this will be another smooth review! - SchroCat ( ^  •  @ ) 09:06, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for being so patient, I was hoping to get to this sooner! Anyway, this is another interesting article; I'm especially pleased to see that it was once an FA, back when the book/film were squished together in the same space -- great job developing both articles separately! As before, for the most part my comments revolve around the prose. Here is how it stands against the criteria:


 * 1) Well-written: For the most part; see issues below.
 * 2) Factually accurate and verifiable: Yes.
 * 3) Broad in its coverage: Yes.
 * 4) Neutral: Yes.
 * 5) Stable: Yes.
 * 6) Illustrated, if possible, by images: Yes.


 * Lead
 * Thunderball is the ninth book in Ian Fleming's James Bond series, first published in the UK by Jonathan Cape on 27 March 1961, where the initial print run of 50,938 copies quickly sold out. The story—the eighth full length James Bond novel by Fleming—is technically the first novelisation of a James Bond screenplay. -- The first sentence is somewhat long, and I'm not sure (as a Bond novice) how the ninth book/eighth full length novel relates to each other.  How about rewording as: "...the ninth book in Ian Fleming's James Bond series, and the eighth full length James Bond novel.  It was first published in the UK by Jonathan Cape on 27 March 1961, where the initial print run of 50,938 copies quickly sold out.  Technically the first novelization of a James Bond screenplay, it was born from..."
 * The "born from" suggested above is because of the redundancy of "was a result of"... "was the result of" in the first paragraph, but any other rewording will work.
 * Both done - SchroCat ( ^  •  @ ) 15:44, 5 December 2011 (UTC)


 * Plot
 * At the clinic Bond encounters Count Lippe, a member of the Red Lightning Tong criminal organisation from Macau. When Bond learns this... -- Does "this" refer to Lippe being a member of the Red Lightning Tong? If so, best reword so it's less ambiguous.
 * Done - SchroCat ( ^  •  @ ) 15:44, 5 December 2011 (UTC)


 * Characters and themes
 * Felix Leiter had his largest role to date in a Bond story and much of his humour came though... -- The previous sentence is in present tense, while this is in past tense. Consistency is needed.
 * Done - SchroCat ( ^  •  @ ) 15:44, 5 December 2011 (UTC)


 * Background
 * The name of the health farm, Shrublands, was taken by Fleming from that of a house owned by the parents of his wife's friend... I think the "by Fleming" is rather understood here, since he's the one that wrote the book?
 * Done - SchroCat ( ^  •  @ ) 15:44, 5 December 2011 (UTC)


 * I hadn't heard of Buster Crabb before, so that was very interesting. I would suggest adding that Crabb was a frogman, since I initially read it as he was just a regular Joe hired by the M16.  "undertaken on 19 April 1956 by frogman "Buster" Crabb"?
 * Done - SchroCat ( ^  •  @ ) 15:44, 5 December 2011 (UTC)


 * However, when the film was released in July 1959, it was poorly received by the critics and did not do well at the box office[23] and Fleming became disenchanted with McClory's ability as a result. -- This reads somewhat clumsily.  "it was poor received, and as a result Fleming became disenchanted..."?
 * Done - SchroCat ( ^  •  @ ) 15:44, 5 December 2011 (UTC)


 * In November 1959 Fleming left to travel round the world on behalf of The Sunday Times... -- "round"? Either make it "around", or nix it all together.
 * Done - SchroCat ( ^  •  @ ) 15:44, 5 December 2011 (UTC)


 * Spaced en-dashes or unspaced em-dashes? Either is fine, but it needs to be made consistent throughout the article.
 * Done; the only spaced emdash remaining is the use with dates, which I think is correct(?) - SchroCat ( ^  •  @ ) 15:44, 5 December 2011 (UTC)


 * during which time Fleming was unwell—having heart attacks during the case itself -- There has to be a better way to word this; Fleming's article states he had a heart attack, but this seems to imply he had more than one at this time? "he suffered a heart attack/heart attacks during the case"?
 * Done - SchroCat ( ^  •  @ ) 15:44, 5 December 2011 (UTC)


 * Adaptations
 * The film was produced by as the third Eon Productions film... -- "by as"? Not sure what is meant here.
 * Done - SchroCat ( ^  •  @ ) 15:44, 5 December 2011 (UTC)


 * Bibliography
 * There are a few sources missing publisher locations, but otherwise everything looks good.
 * Done - SchroCat ( ^  •  @ ) 15:48, 5 December 2011 (UTC)

That's about it. Very nice work! I found the plot a lot easier to follow than Dr. No, and the "Release and reception" section is particularly well done. I did some minor copy-editing throughout for punctuation and minor redundancies, so be sure to check and make sure I didn't misconstrue something. Once the above comments/suggestions have been resolved, I'll be happy to promote this to GA. On hold for now. María ( yllo submarine ) 14:46, 5 December 2011 (UTC)


 * All covered, I think, but please let me know if there is something else you want me to look at, or if I've missed something. Cheers again - SchroCat ( ^  •  @ ) 15:48, 5 December 2011 (UTC)


 * Looks good to me! Congrats on another GA. :) María ( yllo  submarine ) 16:03, 5 December 2011 (UTC)

End of Controversy
http://www.mi6-hq.com/sections/articles/movies_battle_for_bond_is_over.php3?t=&s=&id=03598

Shouldn't it be mentioned that the controversy over rights is finally over? Emperor001 (talk) 04:47, 3 December 2014 (UTC)