Talk:Tim McKee/GA2

GA Review
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Reviewer: TheQ Editor (talk · contribs) 19:48, 21 June 2015 (UTC)

If you have any questions, feel free to ask. After these problems are resolved, I will take one final look before I pass the article. Cheers,  ΤheQ Editor   Talk? 13:35, 25 June 2015 (UTC)


 * Lead should be longer per WP:Lead, include some part of his early years.
 * ✅ Expanded a bit to mention Pennsylvania origins, family, and collegiate swimming career. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 14:58, 25 June 2015 (UTC)


 * Replace Alexander Timothy McKee with Alexander Timothy "Tim" McKee.
 * It is a common misconception that this redundancy is required by MOS; it is not. Please see the recent MOS talk page discussion directly on point @ Wikipedia talk:Manual of Style/Biographies.  Including a parenthetically inserted nickname breaks up the statement of the subject's full name in a manner that may be misleading to the reader.  It's also amazingly redundant to include common diminutive nickname like "Tim" in the middle of "Alexander Timothy McKee"; our readers are smart, and they get it -- especially when the article's title is "Tim McKee," and the infobox is titled "Tim McKee" and states his nickname is "Tim."  Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 14:58, 25 June 2015 (UTC)


 * Wikilink All-American in Early Years. "editors should only link the term's first occurrence in the text of the article"
 * ✅ Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 14:58, 25 June 2015 (UTC)


 * FN2 says his father is "Big Al McKee" while FN3 says something different. Please clarify.
 * ✅ "Big Al" is an obvious nickname, but I have inserted it to add a little color. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 14:58, 25 June 2015 (UTC)


 * "some measure of national recognition" should be "some measure of national or international recognition"
 * ✅ Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 14:58, 25 June 2015 (UTC)


 * "international swimming federation, FINA" should be "International Swimming Federation (FINA)"
 * The words are an English language description, not a statement of the unabbreviated name of FINA. FINA is an acronym of the full French name, Fédération Internationale de Natation.  The construction you suggest implies the correct organization name is the International Swimming Federation.  Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 14:58, 25 June 2015 (UTC)


 * "During the course of his career, McKee set" should be "During the course of his career, McKee had set"
 * ❌ Why should we use the past perfect here? Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 14:58, 25 June 2015 (UTC)


 * Is it "Life after competition swimming" or "Life outside competition swimming"
 * Either way, I suppose. I chose the preposition "after" because everything discussed in the section occurred chronologically after his last international swimming competition.  Since several of his hall of fame inductions for swimming are discussed, I'm not sure "outside" would be an improvement.  Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 14:58, 25 June 2015 (UTC)


 * Is there a Wikipedia article on his wife Courtney and did they have any kids?
 * No, sir. Courtney was not an Olympic athlete, and to the best of my knowledge, she was not a medalist in any other international competition.  I don't believe she's notable per NSPORTS or GNG.  I found no reliable source for any children of the marriage, but I will double-check with new searches of Newspapers.com and Google News Archive.  Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 14:58, 25 June 2015 (UTC)


 * Mention when and why he retired.
 * I would be happy to do so, but unfortunately, I found no reliable source(s) stating exactly when and why he retired. That said, I will double-check with new searches of Newspapers.com and Google News Archive.  Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 14:58, 25 June 2015 (UTC)


 * This is taken directly from the peer review tool: "Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (numbers), there should be a non-breaking space -  between a number and the unit of measurement. For example, instead of 400 metres, use 400 metres, which when you are editing the page, should look like: 400&amp;nbsp;metres."
 * The only instances where the "x00 meters" construction occurs in this article are wiki links to Olympic event articles, where inserting non-breaking spaces has the potential to disrupt the link. In American English, when "400-meter" is used as an adjectival phrase, as in "400-meter individual medley," it is properly hyphenated and no non-breaking space is necessary.  Sometimes, a swimming event may be colloquially referred to as the "400 meters," but there are no such instances in this article as written.  Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 14:58, 25 June 2015 (UTC)


 * Thanks for jumping on your GA Review of this article. If you have any further comments, or want to discuss the "nickname" issue mentioned above, please let me know.  Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 14:58, 25 June 2015 (UTC)
 * Looks good, passing.  ΤheQ Editor   Talk? 12:54, 26 June 2015 (UTC)