Talk:Todd Packer (The Office)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Khazar2 (talk · contribs) 13:44, 5 January 2013 (UTC)

I'll be glad to take this one. As last time, I'll start with a close readthrough of the article's text, noting intial issues, and follow with a checklist. -- Khazar2 (talk) 13:44, 5 January 2013 (UTC)

Initial readthrough

 * "although Kevin pretends to go along with it" -- "it" is a pronoun without a referent here. Maybe just say, "pretends to play along" or "pretends to enjoy the jokes"?
 * " to be fine with" -- a bit informal. Perhaps, "a trade to which Erin seems to agree" or "a trade which does not appear to bother Erin"?
 * "The cold open in the episode ... " -- what was the cold open for this episode? It's not clear from the plot above, so maybe just add a phrase describing it here.
 * "Notable cut scenes" -- I'm removing "notable" here as a tiny bit of editorializing. Since "include" makes it clear this isn't a complete list, it's not really needed.

Since these are very minor points, I'll go straight to the checklist.

Checklist
Thank you ever so much for the review! How do the changes look now?-- Gen. Quon   (Talk)   18:47, 5 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Looks great--thanks for your super-speedy response! -- Khazar2 (talk) 19:05, 5 January 2013 (UTC)