Talk:Tolkien and the Great War/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: KeeperOfThePeace (talk · contribs) 13:03, 14 December 2021 (UTC)

I think this has languished long enough. I'll take a look through and get back to you quick as I can. KeeperOfThePeace (talk) 13:03, 14 December 2021 (UTC)
 * That's very good of you. I'll respond promptly. Chiswick Chap (talk) 13:29, 14 December 2021 (UTC)

Overall this looks promising, not a massive amount of work to do but still some issues to fix.

Images
You've used images in a very interesting way in this article. The captions are thought-provoking. No licensing issues as far as I can see.
 * Thanks!


 * Can I ask about Tuor slays Orthrod? I guess it's relevance is that Tolkien started writing The Fall of Gondolin in 1917, but what's it origin?
 * The image is of course later, but as you say it's of Gondolin. The image caption relates the image to Garth's text.

Referencing

 * Per MOS:LEADCITE, both citations in the lead are redundant.
 * Removed.


 * Formatting is fine. All links work, page numbers are given etc.
 * Noted.


 * All points are sourced appropriately.
 * Noted.

Prose

 * The context section is lacking for me. Is there any information on why Garth took an interest in Tolkien and his war years?
 * Added some.


 * "J. R. R. Tolkien was an English Roman Catholic writer, poet, philologist..." Would any reader reading an article on a biography of Tolkien not already know this?
 * I guess we shouldn't assume that. People who've seen Jackson's films might think Tolkien was just a fantasy author, after all.


 * "The account passes swiftly from his birth in South Africa to Birmingham, avoiding the Boer War through childhood illness." His birth in South Africa in 1892 I would suggest, to give the reader a better idea of the dates involved before the war. Also clarify this sentence, "to Birmingham" is confusing.
 * Fixed.


 * Given that six chapters of the book are dedicated to Tolkien's early life, perhaps the account given here should be expanded. It jumps from taking an interest in languages around the age of 10, to studying classics at Oxford.
 * Actually the book gets to Oxford quite early in Chapter 1... I've extended the section.


 * "He was considered "very lazy"" By whom?
 * The sub-rector of his college.


 * "...in the trenches of the Western Front in 2016" 1916, I assume...?
 * Fixed.


 * Tolkien's battalion is mentioned several times, but never it's name or any details about it. Do you consider this relevant information?
 * Added.


 * "By early 1917, too, Tolkien had written The Book of Lost Tales" I am tired so I may be missing something obvious, but what's the point of the 'too' here?
 * As well as The Fall of Gondolin just mentioned; but we can live without it.


 * I'm conflicted about the reception section. On one hand, it is very quote-heavy, and I'm worried that may overwhelm the reader. However, it's well-written and all the reviewers there present new and relevant ideas. Condense it if you think you can without losing meaning, keep it the same if not.
 * Yes, on the whole it's nice to give a brief flavour of what each scholar or reviewer actually said. It's already quite thoroughly paraphrased, and I've kept most of the quotations very short. I'm glad you find it well-written, and I certainly agree that the reviewers all contributed intelligently and differently.

That's all I've got. A very well thought-out and written article. Thank you for your work on improving our coverage of Middle Earth (along with many other topics). KeeperOfThePeace (talk) 11:47, 16 December 2021 (UTC)
 * Thank you for the review, and for the kind words. Chiswick Chap (talk) 13:46, 16 December 2021 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the quick response. This was my first GA review so I was a bit nervous but going in-depth into an article was a fun experience. Passed. KeeperOfThePeace (talk) 15:22, 16 December 2021 (UTC)