Talk:Tomb Raider: Chronicles/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Rhain (talk · contribs) 00:30, 29 January 2024 (UTC)

I'll take this one! Expect some comments shortly. – Rhain  ☔ (he/him) 00:30, 29 January 2024 (UTC)

Lead and infobox

 * Remove full stops from footnotes, as they are sentence fragments
 * Consider listing the platforms with ubl, per template documentation
 * The PlayStation, Windows release dates should probably be split per platform, considering the different EU and NA dates
 * Unlink video game
 * Windows and Dreamcast → Windows, and Dreamcast

Gameplay

 * Unlink video game
 * four locations; → four locations:
 * Link Tomb Raider in the first paragraph's last sentence, and unlink in the second paragraph's first
 * She can search the area → Lara can search the area
 * far off areas → distant areas
 * themes and mechanics; → themes and mechanics:
 * Russian levels includes → Russian levels include (or Russian level includes)

Plot

 * I don't think the reference is necessary in the first paragraph
 * Unlink Rome
 * submarine and wounding → submarine, and wounding

Development and release

 * speaking in a 2016 retrospective on the Core Design Tomb Raider games → speaking in 2016 or remove entirely
 * Consider removing In a different interview,
 * Final Fantasy IX and Dark Earth → Dark Earth and Final Fantasy IX
 * gameplay theme; Rome → gameplay theme: Rome
 * PC version → Windows version
 * second disc. This was done as → second disc, as
 * There were several continuity errors—unless I'm missing something, the ref only explicitly refers to one
 * not referring to the original game's script beforehand—according to Sandham, it seems more like he didn't refer to it "properly", not that he didn't refer at all
 * very short → short
 * Windows and Dreamcast → Windows, and Dreamcast
 * Consider removing of that year
 * promotional ads → promotional advertisements
 * November 24 → 24 November
 * December 15 → 15 December

Reception

 * GameRankings is generally discouraged if Metacritic is available per WP:VGAGG, but these scores are quite different so I'll leave it to you
 * Review table:
 * Replace Rating with plain text (e.g. → 3/5) per WP:VG/REC
 * done.
 * The table seems to imply Edge gave three scores per platform, not one overall; consider removing
 * The Next Generation and X-Play reviews either need to be added in prose or removed from the table
 * They were being used. They were the NextGen and Extended Play reviews. I've adjusted them to be more obvious.
 * Oops, that's my bad—I wasn't aware of their name changes. Feel free to restore the original version—perhaps even consider custom parameters to use the contemporary names. ☔
 * These paragraphs appear to be grouped by platform, but it's a little confusing to follow
 * The second paragraph doesn't make it clear that it's discussing the PlayStation version until the second sentence
 * The third paragraph starts with PlayStation reviews, but has two non-specific reviews in between
 * I've done my best to better deliniate; general reviews in their own paragraph, PlayStation paragraph clearly shown.
 * That's pretty much exactly what I was looking for, thanks! ☔
 * Second paragraph:
 * despite having improved graphics and a good story, the controls → the game had improved graphics and a good story but the controls
 * graphics, praising its details and level design → graphics, details, and level design
 * but again noted → but noted (or but similarly noted)
 * Third paragraph:
 * varied opinions; → varied opinions:
 * Reinier → Reiner
 * Mcnamara → McNamara
 * very negative → negative
 * releases. All reviewers → releases, and all reviewers
 * Fourth paragraph:
 * the Dreamcast version of The Last Revelation → The Last Revelation's Dreamcast version
 * praised it as graphically → praised the Dreamcast version as graphically, and from the PlayStation version → from the PlayStation
 * Official Dreamcast Magazine (UK) → Official Dreamcast Magazine (UK)
 * Fifth paragraph:
 * Eurogamer, → Eurogamer's John Bye
 * mixed on of → mixed on
 * grown up → grown
 * positive generally → generally positive
 * every year → yearly
 * its series decline and its formula → its decline and formula

Legacy

 * Italicise (or, rather, unitalicise) Tomb Raider: The Angel of Darkness in the hatnote using l1
 * The Angel of Darkness released in 2003 → The Angel of Darkness (2003)
 * reception and lead to Eidos taking the property → reception, leading Eidos to take the property

Images

 * File:Tomb Raider - Chronicles.png and File:TR Chronicles gameplay.jpg are non-free works with sufficient rationale and commentary to justify their usage

Result
That's it for now! Mostly minor stuff, with lots of nitpicking—as before, anything written like this is purely a personal suggestion that can safely be ignored without impacting the review. Putting this on hold until my comments have been addressed. – Rhain  ☔ (he/him) 02:33, 29 January 2024 (UTC)
 * Did my best to address everything. --ProtoDrake (talk) 12:02, 29 January 2024 (UTC)
 * Looks great, thanks! I've responded above, but I believe you've addressed everything. My only recommendation would be to italicise titles of works in references per MOS:CONFORMTITLE. I'll make some minor edits on my way out, but this is yours: ! Great work. –  Rhain  ☔ (he/him) 13:29, 29 January 2024 (UTC)