Talk:Tommy Burns (diver)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 11:15, 31 August 2021 (UTC)

Comments
 * "century, Burns gained.." - he gained ✅
 * "have been drinking prior" I guess you mean alcohol? ✅
 * "By this time, he " maybe "At this time" or "Before this dive" because it seems odd to suggest that destitution was "by the time" he died. ✅
 * "Although Burns had been drinking excessively" okay well that sounds like the comment I made two previously needs consolidation. ✅
 * "1880s-1897" en-dash. ✅
 * Don't like linking in quotes, but "horizontal bar" might need a link. ✅
 * "within just nine days" remove "just". Perhaps put in the distance required to allow the reader to understand the undertaking.
 * Removed "just", though it's not possible to specify a distance as there too many unknown variables. Most reading will appreciate that Liverpool and London are distantly apart within the geography of the UK.


 * " 2nd January 1897" 2 January. ✅
 * "the Edinburgh Evening News reported" italics. ✅
 * " shilling" link. ✅
 * "by the Dundee Courier to" italics. ✅
 * "Scotland in 1895" overlinked, and if it stays, comma after Scotland. ✅
 * "on 29th January " 29 January. ✅
 * "newspaper the Evening Tribune as being" italics. ✅
 * "Tommy Burns was" no need for Tommy. ✅
 * "reported " by whom? ✅
 * "24 year old" hyphenate. ✅
 * "water[21] until a yacht rescued them.[4]" put the refs together at the end, rather than this awkward juxtaposition. ✅
 * "saved 32 lives[2] and by October 1896," ditto.
 * There are 2 separate figures being cited here by 2 independent references, which each support the specific figure they are following.


 * "-known steeplechase jockey Mr W Gale" well-known but not notable?
 * Fair enough. The ref notes they were well-known though i'd struggle to support this view. ✅


 * "the Royal Aquarium into" overlinked. ✅
 * "intoxicated with drink" alcohol? ✅
 * "on Saturday 10th July" don't need day of the week, and just 10 July. ✅
 * "Rhyl Pier provided" overlinked. ✅
 * Burns' -> Burns's
 * Yet, it isn't incorrect to have just an apostrophe alone in this instance, right? I think either is acceptable with singular proper nouns which end with s.


 * Consider clear before the Ref section because the image of the fatal dive is squashing the refs.
 * I considered it, but I can't say I am at all a fan. The ref squashing is at worst a minor cosmetic concern and only seems apparent on particularly wide resolutions.

That's all I have on a first run through. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 20:25, 31 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Many thanks for this. I'll work through once I have completed your other article review. Bungle (talk • contribs) 19:40, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Just to advise that I plan to start working through this review in the next 1-3 days. Thanks. Bungle (talk • contribs) 20:20, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
 * no rush but are you planning to complete these points soon? The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 09:24, 13 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Absolutely! Early September is the busiest working time of the year for me and my free time is severely curtailed (hence the lack of general activity on wikipedia as a whole), however I do endeavour to work through the GA to completion asap. Many thanks for your patience. Bungle (talk • contribs) 16:01, 13 September 2021 (UTC)
 * No problem at all, just checking we were still going to progress. Cheers, don't work too hard! The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 16:06, 13 September 2021 (UTC)
 * I have addressed or responded to all your points now. As with the other review, I did have some queries or comments on some points (a GA review is a collaboration, after all), so feel free to clarify or justify any if necessary. Bungle (talk • contribs) 20:29, 15 September 2021 (UTC)

I have nothing more to add here, it's looking good. Regarding Burns's, see MOS:'s. But MOS compliance isn't a requirement of GAN so I'll leave it to you. Cheers. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 08:45, 17 September 2021 (UTC)