Talk:Tony the Tiger/Archives/2016

Comments for this page's student editor ncruzcma11 from WikiEdu course instructor kairyth
Hi Nadia, Your new sections look good - I have a few comments: Nice work, looking forward to the final draft. -Ms. Becvar Kairyth (talk) 18:02, 7 April 2016 (UTC)
 * Word count is just a bit shy of 1000 words (977). I'll give it to you this time, but make sure you bring it up to 1000 before the final draft. Since you're editing the article live on Wikipedia, I'm going to look only at edits that you have made (not others), as much as possible.
 * "Trademark Controversy" section is excellent! Make sure you keep your eye on the neutrality of your writing.
 * Work on getting more internal Wikipedia links - perhaps you can link to Exxon Mobil, 1988 Olympic Summer Games, Saturday morning cartoon and other things you mention in your section. You'll need at least 8 internal links in your new content.
 * Citations look good. You might want to consider formatting them so you don't repeat the same citation more than once, ie. So you'd have [1] several times rather than [1] [2] and [3] being the same source. Also, since you have the inline citations, you can take out the parenthetical citations
 * I'm still concerned about the neutrality and the framing of the "pop culture" section. I wonder if a better section header would be something like "Concerns about sugary cereal and childhood obesity", since I think what you're getting at is Kellogg's response to those concerns with the new "Tiger Power" brand.

Student Assignment
Howdy, I have currently been working on the article Tony the Tiger as part of a final project for my class. My professor will soon be going over my edits on this page, if possible can you please give this page a couple days before editing. That would be greatly appreciated since this is a class assignment :) Thank you in advanced. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Ncruzcma11 (talk • contribs) 21:11, 14 April 2016 (UTC)