Talk:Tooth and Tail/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Cognissonance (talk · contribs) 05:06, 15 February 2018 (UTC)

I'll take this one. Cognissonance (talk) 05:06, 15 February 2018 (UTC)

Lead

 * The third paragraph has too many repetitions of "the game".

Gameplay

 * "Set during the 19th century" Already established in Plot.
 * "Fifteen of these units are offensive and are tiered" The second "are" is redundant.

Development

 * "was announced on March 11, 2014" Date not specified in source.
 * See archived version of the source.


 * "The game was loosely based on a design Andy Schatz, the founder of Pocketatch Games, and roommate Tom Wexler had made during college, called DinoDrop" The source says the design was used only for the Venture series. Add ref. 8 (Rock, Paper, Shotgun) next to this to substantiate claim.
 * "title/"codename"" Simplify: "working title".
 * " PC Gamer said there had been no "good" RTS games that utilized them" The source says "Schatz realises that, to date, nobody has made a good controller-friendly RTS". Also, there is no mention of the gamepad.
 * A gamepad is a type of controller, but I've added another ref to that sentence.
 * Also, it's not obvious that "good" is Schatz' words, so I thought it'd be safer to say PC Gamer. I'll change it to Schatz, though.


 * "Schatz compared Armada with Monaco; he said," Simplify: "Schatz compared Armada with Monaco, saying".
 * "in August 2014" Date not specified in sources.
 * An archived version of ref 10, taken on August 10, has it saying "2 days ago".


 * "During this stage of development" is too similar to "Throughout these stages of development". Differentiate.
 * How about "It was around this time"?


 * "A Polygon article said the game was planned for release "sometime in 2015"" Improve prose: "Polygon reported a tentative release date of "sometime in 2015"".
 * "The title is a reference to the tooth-to-tail ratio" Could you add a reference that mentions it? PC Gamer only links to a Wikipedia article.
 * "development process became more public and the development team" Avoid repetition, pick one "development".
 * "In an interview with GameSpot in March 2016, Schatz said the release would occur "later this year"" This repeats the information that precedes it: "the game would be released sometime in 2016". Just remove the "In an interview with..." sentence and replace "sometime in" with "late".

Reception

 * The sentences "Critics praised the game's ability to be inviting to newcomers to the real-time strategy genre" and "Some critics considered the game's learning curve to be too steep" are just repetitions of what follows. I suggest removing them.
 * I disagree. They introduce what is about to be discussed. In the first case, it's the difference between newcomers and veterans and the second is the learning curve. Otherwise the article jumps into information without telling the reader what's to come.
 * The first one can simply be differentiated from Kotaku's very similar sentence. The second one repeats in a very silly manner: "Some critics considered the game's learning curve to be too steep. Polygon writer Charlie Hall wrote "the initial learning curve right now is simply too steep for most players". Both say the same thing. Cognissonance (talk) 11:31, 15 February 2018 (UTC)
 * In regards to the first one, how about: Critics, such as Eric Van Allen of Kotaku, praised the game's ability to be inviting to newcomers to the real-time strategy genre while also appealing to veterans...? I've removed the second.  Anarchyte ( work  &#124;  talk )  11:48, 15 February 2018 (UTC)
 * That works. Cognissonance (talk) 11:55, 15 February 2018 (UTC)

Overall
I will go over the prose again once the concerns are met, as it's not so easy to read. Cognissonance (talk) 06:56, 15 February 2018 (UTC)
 * Thanks for looking over it. I'll respond soon.  Anarchyte ( work  &#124;  talk )  07:20, 15 February 2018 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the comments. I didn't realise how many easily fixable mistakes there were. I had given it a quick read through before nominating it but I must've been blind at the time. I've responded above. Cheers,  Anarchyte ( work  &#124;  talk )  11:18, 15 February 2018 (UTC)
 * It should mention in the lead that it revolves around anthropomorphic animals. Cognissonance (talk) 11:54, 15 February 2018 (UTC)
 * Done. If you've got any additional comments, I'll take a look in the morning. Cheers,  Anarchyte ( work  &#124;  talk )  11:58, 15 February 2018 (UTC)
 * My second look amounted only to stuff I could copyedit myself. It looks good now. Cognissonance (talk) 12:03, 15 February 2018 (UTC)
 * Thank you! Have a great day .  Anarchyte ( work  &#124;  talk )  20:52, 15 February 2018 (UTC)

File:Tooth and Tail - Desert screenshot.png scheduled for POTD
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