Talk:Trauma Center: New Blood/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: David Fuchs (talk · contribs) 09:43, 20 July 2021 (UTC)

in progress Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs  talk 09:43, 20 July 2021 (UTC)

-- Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs talk 17:44, 30 July 2021 (UTC)
 * General :
 * Prose :
 * Missions, which are both story-based operations and gameplay-based challenges, can be played on different difficulty settings.—this is a bit hard for me to parse, since before the article said that the gameplay is the operations + non interactive cutscenes, so what are these other "gameplay-based challenges"?
 * Did my best to address this bit with a rephrase/reedit.
 * Operations range from treating surface wounds and extraction operations to organ transplants and repairing broken bones, in addition to new procedures such as skin grafts and fixing electronic devices. Just because you haven't mentioned it's a game in a series in the body at all, the "new procedures" doesn't clearly scan as "new [to the franchise]".
 * Fixed I hope.
 * Markus and Valerie are drafted into a dedicated unit at the USA branch of Caduceus and Caudceus is?
 * Added what Caduceus is.
 * I had a hard time following the plot in this section: During their initial stay and work, Stigma is kept a secret from the public, and Caduceus is publicly embarrassed after Markus and Valerie are shown up on a reality TV show called "Miracle Surgery" when they try to force the show off the air—how are they shown up? Is this really that important versus just saying something like "they are forced to reveal the disease's existence?" The show doesn't factor in later.
 * I've trimmed this bit down to a passing mention.
 * The introduction of a bunch of new characters and names and terrorist organization that is the actual big bad right near the end of the plot just comes off as convoluted, and streamlining this would probably help.
 * Did my best trimming down. Believe it or not, that's what the story does.
 * The second was that one of the protagonists should be coloured—given that "colored" can be seen as derogatory in certain contexts, and that's not what the source really says (dark-skinned seems better) I would rephrase this.
 * Thanks for catching this, sorted.
 * During the music writing process, Kitajoh did several arrangements without consulting Tsuchiya, something he was used to with the general Atlus Sound Team but was surprised by with his co-composer.—surprised... how? This sentence really isn't saying anything.
 * I just cut this bit.
 * The reception section I think could use with a reorganization. Right now the article summarizes the main points in a single paragraph, and then spirals out into very loosely-connected individual points that don't really stick together much. I would suggest using the summarized opinions as topic sentences and elaborating where appropriate with specific critic commentary.
 * References :
 * Spotchecked references attributed to current refs 4, 5, 6, 9, 13, 17, 30, 34, 36, 41. Didn't spot any issues.
 * Sources used seem reliable and appropriate.
 * Since the page for PALGN got deleted, you should remove the redlines.
 * Done.
 * Media :
 * Either the fair use and/or caption for File:Trauma Center New Blood screenshot.jpg could be improved, for example highlighting critical response to the gameplay mechanics (the graphics don't really seem that heavily covered in comparison.)
 * I've expanded both a little.
 * I've been reworking the reception section based on what I think you meant from your comments. Hope I'm on the right track. --ProtoDrake (talk) 07:17, 31 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Thanks, PD. It looks much better. I think it's satisfactory now. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs  talk 16:21, 2 August 2021 (UTC)