Talk:Tropical Depression Two (2010)

Todo
It needs more non-NHC sources (NCDC has July reports out now). Also, the MH is decent, but it doesn't need to include every time the NHC changed the probability (from 30% to 40%, back down to 30%, etc.). The first sentence of the MH is unsourced. Don't speculate on its origins - if you don't know, just say when the NHC first started monitoring it.

All in all, good job though. Your writing has become much better - I actually look forward to you making articles now! Hurricanehink ( talk ) 16:47, 25 October 2010 (UTC)
 * Who is this David mentioned several times in the reference section? The name is not in those references.  Thegreatdr (talk) 19:43, 17 November 2010 (UTC)
 * Ive fixed the references - its John not David.Jason Rees (talk) 01:23, 18 November 2010 (UTC)

Nice. On to more issues. The main text of the article in the impact section with regards to rainfall is at odds with the rainfall graphic, and it somehow references the inland advisories without actual supporting inline references. That needs to be fixed. Also, the link to the last sentence is unable to support the last line, since that page deals with a different cyclone. This is bound to be noticed by the GAN reviewer. Thegreatdr (talk) 19:53, 27 November 2010 (UTC)
 * Here are my comments from our IRC review today. I think (not sure though) you addressed most of this, but given the fact you left IRC about 10 minuets ago, here are my total comments/

✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ Otherwise, it's great. Put ✅ templates when you fix there, though I believe most have been fixed. YE  Pacific   Hurricane
 * "Initially, intensification into a tropical storm was forecast by the National Hurricane Center (NHC), but due to its proximity to land, the depression never strengthened into such" forecast to anticipated so the tense is in agreement
 * "Due to the systems weak intensity, there were no reports of wind damage across Texas or Mexico, although the storm did bring moderate rainfall to northern Mexico, which was devastated by Hurricane Alex just one week earlier." systems to system's
 * The lead contains too many meteorological details, cut some out, add some impact in
 * There is no need in my opinion -- We will see what happens at GAN.
 * "The origins of Tropical Depression Two can be traced back to a disorganized tropical wave that was first noted by the National Hurricane Center (NHC) on June 24 as it moved off the western coast of Africa, and into the Atlantic Ocean" no need to spell out NHC since you did it in the lead
 * "Over the following 24 hours, significant development took place, leading to a higher probability of developing into a tropical depression.[2] " wikilink developing to tropical cyclonegenies
 * "However, a defined surface circulation did not form before the wave moved over the Yucatan Peninsula and lost organization.[1][3][4]" wikilink atmospheric circulation
 * "The system remained disorganized as it traversed the peninsula; it eventually emerged into the Gulf of Mexico on July 7.[5]" wikilink Gulf of Mexico, not that major of a place
 * "Situated over water once more, the wave was able to gradually develop as it moved in a northwesterly direction. " two things 1) was it ever previously over warm water 2) wilink to sea surface temperatures
 * "Following a reconnaissance mission from the Hurricane Hunters, the NHC noted that there was a high chance of the system developing into a tropical cyclone within the following day or two.[6]" no need for from the Hurricane Hunter and wtf is a high chance of developing? I know what it means but the layman wont
 * "Early on July 8, additional data from the Hurricane Hunters indicated that the system had developed a closed circulation and the NHC classified it as a tropical depression, the second of the season.[7]" wikilink Hurricane Hunters and what exact time on July 8 did it occur
 * "At this time, the system was situated roughly 250 mi (400 km) southeast of Brownsville, Texas.[1] At the same time, the depression also attained its peak intensity with maximum sustained winds of 35 mph (55 km/h) and a minimum barometric pressure of 1005 mbar (hPa; 29.68 inHg).[1]" combine these two sentences, they both start with the same word.
 * "During a reconnaissance mission at 1200 UTC, Hurricane Hunters found winds near tropical storm intensity; however, land-based observations did not support this and the depression was not classified as Tropical Storm Bonnie.[1]" no need for "Bonnie"
 * "Realizing that the tropical depression would remain disorganized, the NHC discontinued its predictions of it intensifying into a tropical storm.[8] Later that day, the depression made landfall in South Padre Island, Texas at 1515 UTC with winds of 35 mph (55 km/h).[9]" Why are you saying it move inland when you said it a sentence or two ago
 * "The tropical depression weakened slightly while moving near the Mexico/Texas border, where the NHC had discontinued advisories on the system.[10]" hyphen between Mexico and Texas and no need for "had"
 * "Immediately after Tropical Depression Two was classified, a tropical storm warnings for the state of Texas, covering the coastline from Baffin Bay to the northern mouth of the Rio Grande River." make warnings singular
 * "Subsequent coastal flooding and flash flood warnings were issued by the local National Weather Services in southern and eastern Texas as the NHC predicted 4 to 8 in (100 to 200 mm) of rain, with possibly 10 in (250 mm) in some areas.[12]" which ones?
 * I also believe there is no need here.
 * "Alerts were also issued for the Mexican states of Tamaulipas, Nuevo León and Coahuila, warning of heavy rains, flooding and landslides.[13] " what kind of alert? the states warned people? do you mean officials warned people
 * Fixed the second part of the problem; I don't understand Spanish, so I don't know which alert.
 * "After Tropical Depression Two made landfall in Texas, all of the tropical storm warnings associated with the storm were discontinued.[15]" singular "tropical storm warnings"
 * What?
 * "As dissipating Tropical Depression Two moved inland, the HPC advisories indicated that much of eastern and southern Texas experienced rainfall of at least 1 in (25 mm), with the exception of Corpus Christi and Laredo." no need for the TD two part, already covered
 * "Throughout Tamaulipas, Mexico, relatively little rain fell in relation to the depression. Matamoros recorded rainfall for roughly two hours before the system passed through the region.[21]" this should go before the damage total
 * Wikilink NHC and NCDC in refs on first usage
 * Cut out "staff writer" in ref #14
 * You mean ref. 13? ✅
 * I put the done templates on the ones I fixed, and commented on the ones I disagree with. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 18:33, 13 November 2011 (UTC)

Suggestions before GA review
Thank you Cyclonebiskit for improving the article, I would agree with the GA nomination. I cannot review this article for GA, since I am a "significant contributor", but I have a few minor suggestions before someone else looks it over for GAN. I think you should include a specific url for a reference to the $80 million in damage done, because the link for Ref #20 brings you to the main database search page, and I doubt anyone would like to go digging through to find out if the money value is true. Thank you again for your improvements, and good luck on the GA! --12george1 (talk) 20:49, 11 November 2010 (UTC)

External links modified
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 * Corrected formatting/usage for http://mexico.cnn.com/nacional/2010/07/08/en-tamaulipas-ya-estan-en-alerta-roja-por-huracan
 * Corrected formatting/usage for http://www4.ncdc.noaa.gov/cgi-win/wwcgi.dll?wwevent~ShowEvent~824013
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