Talk:Tropical Storm Fern/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 02:28, 1 October 2014 (UTC)


 * " began to have deep convection" - "have" --> "produce"
 * Switched.&mdash; CycloneIsaac ( Talk )


 * "sheared by a shear line" - is redundant
 * Removed.&mdash; CycloneIsaac ( Talk )


 * "weakened back to a tropical storm" - since JMA is official, it was never officially a typhoon, therefore it couldn't weak back to a tropical storm
 * Better?&mdash; CycloneIsaac ( Talk )


 * "A cargo ship was abandoned after it was damaged by high winds." - was this on Yap? If so, you should mention that. If not, then the subsequent sentence should clarify it's Yap.
 * Added a word.&mdash; CycloneIsaac ( Talk )


 * "and JMA began tracking it at 0000 UTC" - you should add "as a tropical depression" here
 * Done.&mdash; CycloneIsaac ( Talk )


 * "westernly" - is not a word
 * Not sure why spellcheck isn't highlighting this.&mdash; CycloneIsaac ( Talk )


 * "The storm received the name Fern." - this is a short, dumpy sentence that I'm sure could be merged into the previous or subsequent one.
 * Merged to previous sentence.&mdash; CycloneIsaac ( Talk )


 * "Eighteen hours later" - when you start a new paragraph, you should always indicate what the date is
 * Better?&mdash; CycloneIsaac ( Talk )


 * "JMA continued to keep the same strength at that time." - same strength as what?
 * Added the category.&mdash; CycloneIsaac ( Talk )


 * "Fern reached its peak at 140 km/h (90 mph) north of Yap, according to JTWC" - why is this inconsistent with the infobox?
 * ...I don't know. I'll check why later.&mdash; CycloneIsaac ( Talk )
 * I gave up on trying to fix it. For the infobox, 150 km/h rounds up to 95 mph, not 90.&mdash; CycloneIsaac ( Talk )
 * Should I just hardcode this in?&mdash; CycloneIsaac ( Talk )


 * "975 millibars" - convert to hPa
 * Converted all pressures.&mdash; CycloneIsaac ( Talk )


 * "On the next day, JTWC downgraded Fern back to tropical storm strength, with winds of 110 km/h (70 mph).[4] At the same time, the storm had weakened to 80 km/h (50 mph)" - how is this possible?
 * Derp. Fixed.&mdash; CycloneIsaac ( Talk )


 * Why did the storm move the way it did?
 * Added a bit more, not sure if enough though.&mdash; CycloneIsaac ( Talk )


 * What allowed Fern to strengthen initially?
 * The ATCR doesn't say anything about strengthening initially. It only says "Reaching peak intensity after turning northward is a common behavior in TCs in north-oriented patterns." Would that count?&mdash; CycloneIsaac ( Talk )
 * Yea, maybe mention something like that. ♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 04:16, 21 October 2014 (UTC)
 * Done?&mdash; CycloneIsaac ( Talk )


 * "Yap was directly hit by Fern on Christmas Day, and about $3 million (1996 USD) of damage was caused." - try rewriting in active voice
 * Better?&mdash; CycloneIsaac ( Talk )


 * "The island constantly received gusts around 93 km/h (58 mph)." - constantly? For how long? And why this very specific reading
 * Fixed?&mdash; CycloneIsaac ( Talk )


 * 'costing half of the damage" - use "accounting for" instead of "costing"
 * Changed.&mdash; CycloneIsaac ( Talk )


 * "On January 15, 1997, a state of emergency was declared for Yap by Acting President Jacob Nena" - this is false according to the ref, which says it happened on the 3rd
 * Fixed.&mdash; CycloneIsaac ( Talk )

That's it for now. ♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 02:28, 1 October 2014 (UTC)
 * So far so good for the fixes. Lemme know when you're done with them. ♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 15:35, 3 October 2014 (UTC)

I just read the ATCR for myself. How come you didn't include that the storm was a twin with a storm in the SHEM? You should also say it formed from the monsoon trough. ♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 04:16, 21 October 2014 (UTC)
 * I added it.&mdash; CycloneIsaac ( Talk ) 17:35, 21 October 2014 (UTC)