Talk:Tropical Storm Flossie (2013)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: TheAustinMan (talk · contribs) 00:59, 3 January 2014 (UTC)

Hello, TropicalAnalystwx13. I will be reviewing Tropical Storm Flossie (2013).  TheAustinMan (Talk·Works) 00:59, 3 January 2014 (UTC)


 * Lead
 * Check the alt text for the infobox image. 'Satellite imagery' → 'Satellite image'
 * . TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
 * "Tracking westward across the Atlantic with little development, it tracked over Central America..." – Find a way to not use forms of 'track' close together.
 * while you were doing the review. :) TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
 * "In addition, numerous flash flood watches were issued in the fear of over a foot of precipitation." – Optional, but you really don't need that 'the'.
 * Removed. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
 * "...this also made it the first tropical cyclone to directly affect Hawaii in two decades." – What does that mean? Hurricane Flossie (2007) brought high waves and rain to the island.
 * Reworded. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
 * "Gusty winds exceeded tropical storm threshold..." – SSHWS is based on maximum sustained winds, not gusts.
 * That doesn't change anything? TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
 * "...many thousand locals were without power for a few days." – It's either 'several thousand' or 'many thousands of locals', not 'many thousand'
 * Changed to several thousand. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
 * "...and several others because of vehicle accidents." – You sure? The article only mentions that accidents occurred, not accidents occurred and injured people.  TheAustinMan (Talk·Works) 00:59, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
 * Good catch, removed. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)


 * Meteorological history
 * Try naming your references. It's good practice and can help eliminate a lot of byte-age.
 * ❌ TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
 * Link 'satellite intensity estimates' to Dvorak technique
 * . TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
 * "...intermittently on visible satellite imagery by early on July 27." – I think you meant infrared imagery.
 * Nah, I mean visible satellite imagery. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
 * "...began to impede on the system's organization..." – You don't need 'on'
 * Removed. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
 * "...the forecast called for continued to weakening..." – Eh? Fix the sentence structure up.
 * Lol, removed the "to". TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
 * "The low-level vortex became exposed to view..." – Who's view? You can always see the low-level vortex from a boat beneath the storm, right?
 * Don't ask me, the NHC uses the phrase. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)


 * Preparations and impact
 * "...under a watch." ought to be spelled out as tropical storm watch
 * . TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
 * "Along the Big Island, all courts and colleges were closed." – Just clarifying, but courts = justice courts?
 * The reference does not clarify. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
 * "Upon becoming the first storm to directly hit the state in 20 years..." – The reference only anticipates a direct hit, so, it can't be used to cite that Flossie did. Direct hits have a special meaning in meteorology, so that counts, too.
 * The reference is for the 20 years part. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
 * "...concentrated in Maui and Hawaii." – You should say 'Big Island' instead of Hawaii.
 * Changed. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
 * "Damage from lightning across the state amounted to $24,000." – What's with the reference clutter after this sentence? You could've easily just done a search for lightning in Hawaii on (dates) and then the $24,000 total would show up. Besides, $24,000 shows up on all of the references already anyways; you can remove 3 of the 4 references there.
 * Removed three of the instances. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
 * "Six accidents were reported..." – What accidents?  TheAustinMan (Talk·Works) 00:59, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
 * Vehicle accidents. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)