Talk:Tropical Storm Irving (1992)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk · contribs) 22:09, 28 April 2019 (UTC)

Lede

 * "A distinct but weak low-pressure area developed within the Western Pacific monsoon trough." - Link low-pressure area.


 * ✅. YE Pacific Hurricane 23:14, 28 April 2019 (UTC)


 * "After tracking north, Irving turned to the northeast, and attained peak intensity a day later." - The track map shows it started off west-northwest and then curved generally to the north as opposed to north and then northeast.


 * Better? YE Pacific Hurricane 23:14, 28 April 2019 (UTC)


 * "In response to a subtropical ridge to the north," - Link subtropical ridge


 * ✅. YE Pacific Hurricane 23:14, 28 April 2019 (UTC)


 * "Tropical Storm Irving was the first of two successive systems to move over the Japanese archipelago" - What was the other?


 * I mention that later in the impact. YE Pacific Hurricane 23:14, 28 April 2019 (UTC)


 * "Two people were reported missing in Wakayama prefecture. A swimmer was reported missing and two other people were killed offshore Kyōtango due to high waves" - That's two dead, three missing; the infobox says two missing.


 * Sigh, this is a serious mishap I make  on way too many GANs. YE Pacific Hurricane 23:14, 28 April 2019 (UTC)


 * "Overall, 51 flights linking Osaka and Shikoku were cancelled and ferry services between the Kansai region and Shikoku were also suspended." - Comma after cancelled.
 * Seeing "and" is mentioned a few times, changed one to "while". YE Pacific Hurricane 23:14, 28 April 2019 (UTC)

MH

 * A hurricane hunter aircraft investigated the system, and discovered that the low-level circulation was 220 km (135 mi) further north than what was inferred from the satellite data." - No comma.


 * Removed. YE Pacific Hurricane 23:14, 28 April 2019 (UTC)


 * "Meanwhile, the JTWC upgraded the depression into Tropical Storm Irving,[6] based on an increase in atmospheric convection near the center and Dvorak satellite estimates.[1]" - How about "Meanwhile, the JTWC upgraded the depression to Tropical Storm Irving based on an increase of both convection and Dvorak satellite estimates"?
 * Changes the meaning however. YE Pacific Hurricane 23:14, 28 April 2019 (UTC)


 * "After tracking north-northeast, Irving then turned northeast.[7] On the morning of August 3, the JMA upgraded Irving into a severe tropical storm.[5] According to the JTWC, Irving attained typhoon intensity that evening.[6] At the same time, the JMA estimated that Irving attained its peak intensity of 105 km/h (65 mph) and a barometric pressure of 980 mbar (28.94 inHg).[2] According to the JTWC, Irving continued to intensify and contrary to forecasts, attained a peak intensity of 145 km/h (90 mph) at 00:00 UTC on August 4, in agreement with surface observations." - Every one of these sentences refer to the storm as Irving. Let's alternate with "the storm/system/cyclone/etc." We also need a comma after "continued to intensify and"


 * Changed and re-worded the last bit because that would have been a lot of commas. YE Pacific Hurricane 23:14, 28 April 2019 (UTC)


 * "However, this period of intensification was not observed during real time by the JTWC; operationally the JTWC estimated maximum winds of 105 km/h (65 mph), based on Dvorak intensity estimates." - Alternate JTWC with "the organization" or something similar; we need a comma after "operationally" too.


 * ✅. YE Pacific Hurricane 23:14, 28 April 2019 (UTC)


 * "The JTWC and JMA downgraded Irving to a tropical storm on August 4[5] as it interacted with land.[1]" - Correct me if I'm wrong, but links in the middle of the sentence are generally discouraged, especially since in this instance it can just be moved to the period.
 * There's literally no rules (as of last look) on the books regarding this but this always seems to trigger you :P YE Pacific Hurricane 23:14, 28 April 2019 (UTC)

Impact

 * "A peak rainfall total occurred of 519 mm (20.4 in) at Nagaoka District." - Move "occurred" after the rainfall total.


 * ✅. YE Pacific Hurricane 23:14, 28 April 2019 (UTC)


 * " Damage was estimated at ¥514 million, ¥447 million of which was due to 2,055 ha (5,080 acres) of crop damage." - Let's move "of which" before the second damage estimate so those two numbers aren't so close together.


 * Sure. YE Pacific Hurricane 23:14, 28 April 2019 (UTC)


 * "Strong winds also downed many trees and all transport in the prefecture was halted." - Comma after "trees."


 * ✅. YE Pacific Hurricane 23:14, 28 April 2019 (UTC)


 * "Ten ferries were cancelled in Fukuoka Prefecture .[17]" - Delete the random space before the period.


 * ✅. YE Pacific Hurricane 23:14, 28 April 2019 (UTC)


 * "Roads were damaged in 17 spots in Wakayama prefecture,[18] where two people were rendered missing due to rough seas." - Rendered missing sounds weird. Let's go with the conventional reported missing.


 * I use both but ok. YE Pacific Hurricane 23:14, 28 April 2019 (UTC)


 * "A swimmer was reported missing[21]and two other individuals were killed offshore Kyōtango due to high waves." - Same as above with the reference in the middle of the sentence.
 * ✅. YE Pacific Hurricane 23:14, 28 April 2019 (UTC)