Talk:Tropical Storm Kammuri (2002)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Mark Arsten (talk · contribs) 17:58, 15 October 2012 (UTC)


 * Will review, comments to follow within the next few days. Mark Arsten (talk) 17:58, 15 October 2012 (UTC)
 * Thanks! --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 20:01, 15 October 2012 (UTC)


 * Ok, the article looks pretty good to me, seems well written and covers the main aspects. A few small comments and requests I made some copyedits and tweaks to prose, hopefully all are Ok. I'm not much of a meteorologist though, so I can't say much about the technical aspects. Mark Arsten (talk) 19:31, 17 October 2012 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review and copyedit, looks great. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 21:12, 17 October 2012 (UTC)
 * Ok, I'm satisfied with the fixes and explanations. I'll pass this now. Good work! Mark Arsten (talk) 18:54, 18 October 2012 (UTC)

Lead
 * Some repetition of "deadly" here: " produced deadly flooding in the wake of a deadly flood season".
 * Changed. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 21:12, 17 October 2012 (UTC)
 * "Kammuri killed 153 people, most of them related to the remnants" I'm not sure I understand what you mean here.
 * A storm's remnants is what's left after the circulation dissipates. Imagine a storm moving over land, and how all of its leftover moisture would cause flooding. That was the case here. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 21:12, 17 October 2012 (UTC)
 * In the lead image caption, consider stating which body of land it was over at the time.
 * Good call! --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 21:12, 17 October 2012 (UTC)

Meteorological history
 * "estimated peak 10 minute sustained winds" Should "10 minute" be hyphenated here?
 * Yea, you're right, my bad. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 21:12, 17 October 2012 (UTC)
 * "Shortly thereafter, the Joint Typhoon Warning Center (JTWC)[nb 3] followed suit by initiating advisories on Tropical Depression 17W,[5] and the Hong Kong Observatory (HKO) began issuing advisories early on August 3." Is there a good way around the repetition of "advisories" here?
 * Easy enough. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 21:12, 17 October 2012 (UTC)
 * "The remnants were absorbed by a cold front." Do you know when or where this happened?
 * The ref did not specify. ಠ_ಠ --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 21:12, 17 October 2012 (UTC)

Preparations, impact, and aftermath
 * "Kammuri dropped heavy rainfall in Hong Kong that reached 280 mm (11 in) in Kwai Chung" Might want to note what "Kwai Chung" is, a town?
 * Good catch. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 21:12, 17 October 2012 (UTC)
 * "Similarly, Shantou Waisha Airport was closed for four hours, causing 10 flights to be delayed or canceled.[2] Heavy damage was reported in three coastal cities.[2] Two small electrical dams were destroyed by the storm, causing additional flooding." Some repetition of "causing" here.
 * Tweakage. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 21:12, 17 October 2012 (UTC)
 * I'd suggest breaking the paragraph that begins "Neighboring Fujian Province to Guangdong" in two.
 * OK. I didn't think it was that long, but structurally it makes sense now. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 21:12, 17 October 2012 (UTC)
 * "Widespread areas lost power or water, and two people were electrocuted in Shantou." Is there a connection between the two halves of the sentence?
 * Sort of implication about the power being related to the electrocutions, but I'll change it. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 21:12, 17 October 2012 (UTC)
 * "14 reservoirs surpassed their capacity" This was in Hunan, right? Also, might want to avoid starting a sentence with a number like this.
 * Yea, gotcha. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 21:12, 17 October 2012 (UTC)
 * Might want to note when the events of the last paragraph occurred.
 * Clarified it happened during the storm. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 21:12, 17 October 2012 (UTC)

References
 * Double check for names that need to be italicized. Mark Arsten (talk) 19:31, 17 October 2012 (UTC)
 * Which ones would have to be? I'm sorry, I always get a little confused by the italicization. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 18:50, 18 October 2012 (UTC)