Talk:Tropical Storm Nanmadol (2017)/GA2

GA Review
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Reviewer: Yellow Evan (talk · contribs) 19:37, 25 May 2020 (UTC)

will do. YE Pacific Hurricane 19:37, 25 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Has everything from the last GAN been addressed? YE Pacific Hurricane 19:52, 25 May 2020 (UTC)

Just looking at the lead for now. YE Pacific Hurricane 19:52, 25 May 2020 (UTC) Just deal with this now, I'll review that MH once you're done with this. Just taking this one section at a time. YE Pacific Hurricane 19:52, 25 May 2020 (UTC)
 * ", and strengthened into the third named storm of the annual typhoon season during July 3." link to tropical cyclone naming please. YE Pacific Hurricane 19:52, 25 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Link done. Typhoon2013  (talk)
 * " reached its peak intensity with maximum 10-minute sustained winds" link to maximum sustained wind. YE Pacific Hurricane 19:52, 25 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Link done. Typhoon2013  (talk)
 * "and a minimum pressure of 985 hPa (29.09 inHg)." link to barometric pressure. YE Pacific Hurricane 19:52, 25 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Link done. Typhoon2013  (talk)
 * "On July 4, Nanmadol turned eastwards and made landfall" link to landfall (meteorology). YE Pacific Hurricane 19:52, 25 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Link done. Typhoon2013  (talk)
 * "Nanmadol's remnant continued to be tracked until it moved out of the basin four days later." what is a basin? the average reader won't know. You could insert the appropriate wikilink but honestly I'd just remove the basin bit altogether.
 * Removed that part instead. Typhoon2013  (talk)
 * Why are there sources in the lead? YE Pacific Hurricane 19:52, 25 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Removed the sources. Typhoon2013  (talk)
 * "Nanmadol mostly affected the island of Kyushu, bringing torrential rainfall and landslides over in many prefectures; the hardest hit prefectures were Fukuoka and Ōita. The one-day rainfall in Asakura, Fukuoka surpassed the city's average total for July by 50%, where it saw 500 mm (20 in) fall in a 12-hour period on July 5.[1] Landslides were recorded in 44 different locations and flooding in 38 locations. As of August 5, the death toll has been placed at 36, with five unaccounted for.[2]" honestly just re-write this entire thing. Also why only as of August 5? Is there not anything more recent? YE Pacific Hurricane 19:52, 25 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Re-wrote it. Typhoon2013  (talk)
 * "The name Nanmadol was contributed to the western Pacific typhoon naming list by Micronesia. It is named after Nan Madol, a famous Pohnpei ruin that is deemed as the "Venice of the Pacific".[3]" yes because that has a lot to do with the article. YE Pacific Hurricane
 * Removed section. Typhoon2013  (talk)
 * All of the points done along with the added links. I have reworded as much as I can within the second paragraph. Removed the third paragraph regarding the naming, as there is a link regarding that in the "See also" section. Also it seems like I have done the majority of the points from the previous GAN. Hope all is well so far. Typhoon2013  (talk) 00:29, 26 May 2020 (UTC)

Honestly the MH is pretty good and exceeded my expectations. I will say looking at the impact briefly you mention 37 deaths but don't really mentioned how they died. Nor do you mentioned some of the stuff in the body that ideally should be in the lead, though I'm not sure how easily accessible such info is. I haven't done any internet era Japan or even WPAC storms for that matter but my best advice is to look at some of the sources in GAs for similarish storms. YE Pacific Hurricane 06:06, 28 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Can you add more impact to the lead? Repeating the advice I gave to another user regarding impact of the lead. YE Pacific Hurricane
 * Deaths/injuries
 * Monetary damage estimates divided up by category
 * Number of homes damaged/destroyed, leaving number of people homeless
 * Number of crops destroyed (usually in ha)
 * Explaining how people died/got injured, especially if most of the deaths of a cyclone can be traced back to one or two incidents
 * Areas that were according to sources the worst hit with a possible brief explanation of why
 * Disaster declarations
 * To be fair, some of this doesn't seem discussed in the body and some of this you have already but I think it's a good checklist here. YE Pacific Hurricane 06:06, 28 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Why a "the" before PAGASA? Do other GA's have it like this and am I just insane? YE Pacific Hurricane 06:06, 28 May 2020 (UTC)
 * "Later that day, when the depression's sustained winds were estimated at 55 km/h (35 mph), the JMA began to issue advisories.[5] " significance of the wind here? Or even the entire sentence to be honest. At minimum, explain why the JMA issuing advisories is significant. YE Pacific Hurricane 06:06, 28 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Removed winds bit. Talked about how the JMA issuing advisories meant that they predict the system to strength to a TS within 24 hrs. Typhoon2013  (talk)
 * "Nanmadol later entered a favorable environment with low vertical wind shear, high sea surface temperatures (SSTs) of 30–31 °C (86–88 °F), and robust outflow," "robust outflow" is not a favorable environmental condition per se. Honestly I'd just axe that bit as the rest of the sentence is fine. YE Pacific Hurricane 06:06, 28 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Yep ok, removed. Typhoon2013  (talk)
 * "Nanmadol continued to intensify while moving northward just to the east of Taiwan, with satellite imagery capturing a small, developing eye.[14] " link to satellite imagery. YE Pacific Hurricane 06:06, 28 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Done and linked. Typhoon2013  (talk)
 * " the JTWC downgraded the system further to a weak tropical storm" that isn't an actual term. Better off just giving a wind speed in this instance. YE Pacific Hurricane 06:06, 28 May 2020 (UTC)
 * I added this because before the JTWC released their post-analysis. Reworded instead to low-end of tropical storm intensity. Typhoon2013  (talk)
 * "Conditions became very unfavorable, with high wind shear and cool SSTs of 24–25 °C (75–77 °F).[22] " this is kind of a dumpy sentence. Your call if you want to remove it alotgether though. YE Pacific Hurricane 06:06, 28 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Yeah, removed instead. It's just only one line. Typhoon2013  (talk)
 * Done all of the MH points aside from the PAGASA one. Haven't done the PAGASA one just yet because isn't it the same as the JMA and the JTWC, where adding "the" before the PAGASA is necessary as it's a shortened name of the agency? Because if not, then it then adding "the" before NHC, JMA, JTWC etc isn't necessary at all. Lead will be worked on after this. Typhoon2013  (talk) 04:05, 29 May 2020 (UTC)
 * pinging again because it has been a few weeks. :/ Typhoon2013  (talk) 00:31, 12 June 2020 (UTC)
 * Good job so far. Can you see if there's anything to be added from here? YE Pacific Hurricane 04:23, 17 June 2020 (UTC)
 * Omg sorry for the late reply. I did not know that this information existed in Digital Typhoon. I have added some more information regarding the Asaka(?) prefecture rainfall totals and changed the death toll one up to 42. I'll see what else I can do, though. Typhoon2013  (talk) 02:13, 1 July 2020 (UTC)

Can I ask the status of this review? It has been one month since the last comment. Nova Crystallis  (Talk)  08:03, 31 July 2020 (UTC)