Talk:Tum Hi Aana/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Kyle Peake (talk · contribs) 06:52, 1 May 2020 (UTC)

Coming soon --Kyle Peake (talk) 06:52, 1 May 2020 (UTC)--Kyle Peake (talk) 06:52, 1 May 2020 (UTC)

Infobox and lead
✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅
 * The length should be added, plus source for recording date?
 * Use hlist for the formats and CD single should be targeted to itself, plus Legal digital download should just be digital download
 * Wikilink on Indian pop
 * Link to the music video in the infobox
 * Transl title should be in bold like the song's legitimate title
 * "is a Hindi ballad from the soundtrack of the 2019 Indian feature film Marjaavaan." → "is a song from the soundtrack of the Indian feature film, Marjaavaan (2019)." Add about it being "a Hindi ballad" in a different sentence and use the second sentence of the lead to mention its release as a single from "the soundtrack"


 * That's fine, can wait. --Kyle Peake (talk) 13:29, 2 May 2020 (UTC)

✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅
 * "It is composed by" → "It was composed by"
 * Ref 1 should not be here; the info must be written out in the body then keep it but remove the ref from the lead
 * Move the music video info to after the chart positions, in the second para of the lead
 * "in the film" → "in Marjaavaan" since this will be in the second para
 * Now we're onto the release sentence, as I said this should be the second of the lead and mention the date + that it was a single and possibly which, i.e lead/second/etc?
 * "The melody occurred" → "The melody of the song occurred" but keep in the first para
 * "on a different song" → "on a different track"
 * ""Tum Hi Aana" was suggested by the director of T-Series Bhushan Kumar to" → "T-Series director Bhushan Kumar suggested "Tum Hi Aana" to" to start the second para, though are you sure we need to introduce them as directors since this is done in the body too?
 * "Composer Dev used multiple" → "Dev used multiple"
 * "instruments along with the" → "instruments, including the"
 * Mention critical reception in a sentence after this
 * Include in the sentence what was praised/commented on, specifically.
 * "The song rose to number one on the Asian Music Charts (Official Charts Company), number two on The Times of India Mirchi Top 20 Chart," → "The song peaked at number one and two on the Official Charts Company Asian Music Charts and The Times of India Mirchi Top 20 Chart, respectively."
 * Remove the other charts from the lead as they are not notable enough for it.

Further fixes

, the only fixes needed are a source in the body for the genre, as well as for the song being a ballad, and to add in the lead specific info about the reception that I explained above. --Kyle Peake (talk) 18:36, 2 May 2020 (UTC)
 * , I have added the source in the body.  CAPTAIN MEDUSA   talk  18:51, 2 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Just need to make the reception fix in the lead, then this should be good to go. --Kyle Peake (talk) 18:58, 2 May 2020 (UTC)
 * , ✅.  CAPTAIN MEDUSA   talk  19:15, 2 May 2020 (UTC)

Background and composition
✅
 * Img needs alt text and a full-stop
 * Sure you couldn't source some info about the chorus for the audio file's text?


 * That's fine, can wait. --Kyle Peake (talk) 13:29, 2 May 2020 (UTC)

✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅
 * "described her composition" → "described her composition for "Tum Hi Aana""
 * "instantly wrote "some lines", the singer Jubin Nautiyal who was also present and "instantly" → "instantly wrote "some lines", claimed Dev. The singer Jubin Nautiyal, who was also present, "instantly" with wikilink on Jubin Nautiyal
 * Wikilink on Milap Zaveri
 * "when he was narrating the script of the film to the director of T-Series, Bhushan Kumar." → "by the director of T-Series, Bhushan Kumar, when the latter was narrating the script of Marjaavaan."
 * Mention the writer and performer here, using ref 1 so it is not in the lead; keep that info there though and see the above discussion to remember what I am referring to.
 * Merge this with the below para as the former's like two sentences long
 * "to film's theme of "romantic and sad"." → "to the film's romantic and sad theme."
 * "to suit the film" → "to suit the theme"
 * "in her composition" → "for her composition"
 * "Film director Milap Zaveri described" → "Zaveri described"
 * "as "[the song] is all about" → "as being "all about"
 * "with other songs, saying" → "with other tracks, saying"
 * "of "Bekhayali" (Kabir Singh), and Galliyan (Ek Villain)"." → "of "Bekhayali" and "Galliyan" from the films Kabir Singh and Ek Villain, respectively."
 * "is hurt by the tragedy" are you sure this is the correct section? And add what film it is within at the end of the sentence, or maybe you don't need this at all...

Release
✅ ✅ ✅
 * This information belongs in the music video section if it is about the video; keep here if about the song
 * Mention the digital release(s) in various countries within this section that are included in the release history
 * Merge with the below section and retitle to Release and reception, with release info being the first para followed by the critical response

Critical reception
✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅
 * Add overview of whether the reception was positive or negative or mixed etc.
 * "Asian News International wrote that" → "The staff of Asian News International wrote that"
 * Way too many uses of "wrote" here; variate terms to not read so tedious and look at WP:RECEPTION for more help
 * Do the same with too many uses of "of" for attributing writers; replace with "from" in cases or change "Gaurang Chauhan of theTimes Now" to "Times Now's Gaurang Chauhan" for example
 * Make sure that "the staff" is used for any reviews where no author is directly named
 * Remove italicisation on Scroll.in
 * "and praised Jubin Nautiyal writing," → "and stated that:"
 * "Payal Dev has done" → "Dev has done" with the speech marks beginning at Dev instead of at Payal
 * "cites the song for that it has" → "cited the song for having"
 * "for Payal Dev" → "for Dev"
 * Remove italicisation on CNN-News18
 * "Kunaal Verma’s lyrics ... touch" → "Verma's lyrics, though filmy, touch"
 * Imgs are not needed here; move them to the Music video section

Music video
✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅
 * "features Sidharth Malhotra (top), and Tara Sutaria (bottom)." → "features Sidharth Malhotra and Tara Sutaria, pictured top and bottom, respectively." on the img
 * Release date of the music video?
 * Wikilink on Tara Sutaria
 * "alongside Raghu (Sidharth Malhotra)," → "alongside Raghu (Sidharth Malhotra) in Marjaavaan,"
 * "In the film Raghu is" → "Within the film Raghu is"
 * "she was an eyewitness to" → "she was an eyewitness of"
 * "In the music video," → "In the music video for "Tum Hi Aana","
 * Ref 20 should be after 7 at the end of the sentence, since it's only two refs but they need to be in numerical order
 * Sure you can't add more info about the music video itself?
 * I believe there is nothing else to talk about..  CAPTAIN MEDUSA   talk  14:44, 2 May 2020 (UTC)
 * This section is good then, now I've checked with you. --Kyle Peake (talk) 17:06, 2 May 2020 (UTC)

✅
 * If that info requested to be moved from Release is about the video on YT, add it to the end of the section

Chart performance
✅ ✅ ✅ ✅
 * Change this sub-section to being its own section titled Charts, inbetween Track listing and Release history
 * Fix formatting of the charts table; see "All I Ask" for an example of a correct charts table
 * Put The Times of India in brackets for the second chart
 * Remove Spotify chart per WP:CHARTS

Commercial performance
✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅
 * Add this section inbetween the Music video and Credits and personnel sections to write out the chart positions.
 * Will assess once you have created this.
 * "debuted and peaked at number 1" → "debuted and peaked at number one"
 * "peaked at number 2 on" → "reached number two on" to avoid repetitive wording
 * "Top 20 where it spent a total of 9 weeks" → "Top 20, where it spent a total of nine weeks"
 * "peaked at number 10" → "peaked at number ten"
 * "and number 3" → "and number three"

Credits and personnel

 * Good

Track listing
✅ ✅ ✅
 * Retitle to Track listings
 * The first one referenced shouldn't be here, since that is the track's position on an album not individual release
 * The rest look fine, but separate under different sub-headings for the track listing of each different release
 * Example: the one for ref 28 will have Happy Version as its subheading and cite the track listing for that; put the ref directly after the sub-heading consistently though
 * Mention the first one cited under release history first in the section, since that was the first release and use the title "Tum Hi Aana" for it
 * Huh? I don't get this. Can you explain it to me?  CAPTAIN MEDUSA   talk  15:16, 2 May 2020 (UTC)
 * The first one here should be the 3 October 2019 release (Original Version); cite this instead of the Original Motion Picture Soundtrack which wasn't a standalone release. --Kyle Peake (talk) 17:06, 2 May 2020 (UTC)

✅

Charts
✅ ✅ ✅
 * Will assess once you have created this.
 * Keep Official Charts Company in brackets but title the chart Asian Music Charts
 * Only The Times of India should be in brackets; India Mirchi Top 20 should come fully before the brackets
 * Are you sure India shouldn't be in brackets instead for the YouTube chart of the country like the global one is?

Release history
✅ ✅ ✅ ✅
 * Change Country to India, since that is the only one cited here.
 * Target Digital download to Music download.
 * Make sure that the refs are centred.
 * For the separate releases, add what versions they are to avoid confusion; see "24K Magic" for help with this.

Final comments and verdict

 * for now, nice work but needs some improvements before it reaches GA quality. --Kyle Peake (talk) 12:00, 2 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Just need to fix the two issues that you marked as and the one I recently pointed out in the lead, then this will be ready for GA-status! Also, there is no source for the genre or ballad term, can you fix this? --Kyle Peake (talk) 18:25, 2 May 2020 (UTC)
 * , I have added the ballad bit but I have not added some info about the chorus because there isn't any sources talking about this. Thanks.  CAPTAIN MEDUSA   talk  18:31, 2 May 2020 (UTC)

Made a few minor fixes myself and have some good information for you as well as ... ✅ time has now come for this article! --Kyle Peake (talk) 19:40, 2 May 2020 (UTC)
 * , Thank you so much.  CAPTAIN MEDUSA   talk  19:40, 2 May 2020 (UTC)

Comment
Youtube charts should be removed. See ]. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 18:40, 2 May 2020 (UTC)
 * , I can't find YouTube there. Huh?  CAPTAIN MEDUSA   talk  18:50, 2 May 2020 (UTC)
 * YouTube Music Charts (Global) and YouTube Music Charts (India), not good charts. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 19:13, 2 May 2020 (UTC)
 * , What? can you elaborate? The YouTube Music Charts are not listed in Record charts.  CAPTAIN MEDUSA   talk  19:17, 2 May 2020 (UTC)
 * That's the problem, they are not. They are not consider good charts. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 19:20, 2 May 2020 (UTC)

Comment: I think 's point is that since those charts are not listed under ones that can be added, then they are logically not suitable to be included. --Kyle Peake (talk) 19:24, 2 May 2020 (UTC)
 * ,   CAPTAIN MEDUSA   talk  19:25, 2 May 2020 (UTC)
 * That's it. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 19:29, 2 May 2020 (UTC)